A very English cricket blog by Patrick Kidd. Subscribe to a feed of this Times Online blog at http://timesonline.typepad.com/line_and_length/rss.xml
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"Australia's writers showed their claws,
Her backers raged, her batsmen shook,
Statesmen consulted — and the cause?
Our bowling was too good to hook."
 So wrote Douglas Jardine, the captain of the MCC team that toured Australia in 1932-33. Seventy-five years ago on Sunday, the most fascinating, most controversial, most ill-tempered cricket series began Down Under, yet it was notable for some fantastic cricket and some great stories of derring-do on both sides.
We like nostalgia here at The Times (we are English after all - harking back to former glories is what we do best) and what started out as a humble suggestion from your blogger to the sports editor that it would be nice to mark the occasion with an article has morphed into a five-day series of features, beginning in Saturday's Times with CMJ's take on cricket's darkest hour, plus a timeline and lots of archive material.
That will be followed by John Woodock, former editor of Wisden, on Jardine on Monday; David Frith, the cricket historian, on Harold Larwood and Don Bradman on Tuesday; Murray Hedgcock, an Australian writer who was taught at school by the Aussie Bodyline captain Bill Woodfull, on Wednesday; and Simon Barnes on the whinging Aussies and Ben Macintyre on the diplomatic row to wrap it up. Plus lots of space-filling rambling from me.
But that's not all: a Bodyline podcast is already up and downloadable from this link. Hosted by Mark Chapman, of Radio 1, it features Hedgock, CMJ and yours truly and is a lot of fun.
And then, the coup de grace, we have exclusively got hold of Douglas Jardine's video diaries for the tour. Well, sort of. I co-wrote them and Jardine is played in a rather shorter, more Jewish way to how you would expect by the excellent comedian Andy Zaltzman. Nonetheless, we hope you find it fun and much of the dialogue, smutty jokes aside, comes from what was originally said or written 75 years ago. The first one is online now, with four more to follow from Monday. Enjoy - and let us know what you think of the whole shebang.
I have mixed feelings about Zimbabwe beating West Indies in Harare today. The cricket lover in me, while weeping for further decline in the Caribbean, is delighted that the underdogs won. And it was a full team effort - the top seven Zimbabwe batsmen all made double figures and all the bowlers did their part. It even, for those who think Robert Mugabe is just a racist, had three whites in the XI. There are players such as Prosper Utseya and Stuart Matsikenyeri who are wonderful to watch.
And yet there is a worry that this will be seized on as proof of success by Mugabe. Never mind inflation running at 8,000 per cent (and that's the official figure) or that the UN says that one quarter of the Zimbabwe population need food handouts. Everything is fine in Uncle Bob's garden if the national team can win a cricket match. But why was it ok for West Indies to tour now if it was not "safe" for their A side to do so in the summer? Why are supermarket shelves empty if everything is hunky-dory? How can Zimbabweans say, without a trace of irony, that Mugabe has made them billionaires, as one woman was reported to say at a pro-Mugabe rally today, when the national budget is Z$7.8 quadrillion (that's 15 zeroes) and a loaf of bread, if you can find one, will set you back about Z$200,000 and yet it costs the baker Z$500,000 to produce it.
Zimbabwe is rotten. The ICC's failure to add to the political disapproval of the country and the Mugabe regime by barring sides from touring there is one of the most disappointing acts of mismanagement by the game's governing body.
With the first Test match of England's winter season due to start in a few hours, it appears that England have one selection decision: do they go for the all-round skill and dogged scrappiness of Ravi Bopara at No 6 or do they go for the more established batting temperament of Owais Shah? This is a rare example of a selection decision that I have no firm opinion on. I see the merits of both sides. Unlike last winter's Ashes series - and so many more besides - when any eejit could see that Chris Read and Monty Panesar were the obvious choices, this is less clear-cut.
Therefore, I publicly pledge here and now that I will not utter one word of complaint about the person that England select. Let them have a full three Test matches, barring injury, to stake their claim and good luck to them. I will fully back the selectors' decision.
Unless the player is out for a duck or drops Sangakkara. Then I may moan a little.
 Geoffrey Boycott has come up with a novel proposal (actually, it is not that novel, it was tried 30 years ago and didn't catch on). He wants an end to five-day Test cricket and instead for it to be played over four eight-hour days under floodlights, with matches starting at 2.30pm and ending about 10.30pm.
Boycott's argument is that South Africa and India are finding it hard to sell out Test matches "because people have jobs" and that the national boards ought to change when they stage matches to make it more attractive. Ignoring for a second the idea that cricket has hitherto only been for the idle or the unemployed - indeed, ignoring the fact that unemployment is at 30 per cent in South Africa, which surely should be enough to fill Newlands several times over - Boycott's idea is batty.
There are enough variables to unbalance a game already, such as the toss and the weather, without adding another complication in the form of batting under lights. I don't mind lights being used to extend a gloomy day by an hour or so, but he is talking about playing under the full glare of lights when the sky is pitch black. Would they suddenly swap to a white ball and coloured clothing when it gets dark?
But most importantly, if you start matches at 2.30 you get rid of the single most important reason to go to a cricket match: the luncheon interval. Bah.
The Australian media is hot on the heels of the scoundrel who made off with a cricket ball at the Bellerive Oval in Hobart a couple of weeks ago. Not just any ball, but the one that Adam Gilchrist hit for his 100th Test six, 12 more than the next best man (Lara).
A spectator got a picture of the man running away after picking up the ball and the papers have tracked him down to a Melbourne hospital. Apparently, his name is "John". Well, John, should you be reading this blog, don't be a pillock, give it back so that Gilchrist can put it on his mantlepiece next to his World Cup medals. Unlike in baseball, there is neither tradition nor any rule allowing spectators who gather a ball that has been hit for six to keep it. The ball still belongs to Cricket Australia and they want it back.
John has a chance to be the bigger man, to give the ball back, shake the hand of a great Australian cricketer and show that he is not a dill. Otherwise perhaps Gilchrist should send Roy Symonds and some of his pig-hunting buddies round to talk some sense into him.
There has been a fair bit of ridicule directed at Duncan Fletcher in the past couple of months, but today offers the chance to reflect on how far he brought England. On this day in 1999, Fletcher's first Test in charge of England ended in an innings defeat by South Africa in Johannesburg, cementing the country's hard-earned place as the worst of the Test-playing nations.
As far as good starts to an era go, England being four wickets down for two runs is sort of up there with the Titanic's maiden voyage, but Fletcher turned England round and even after the recent ups and downs they still sit in second place in the world rankings (although India could move above them if they win their series against Pakistan 3-0). A lot of good players were developed and structures put in place to help them to thrive. That Australia remain so far out in front of the pack is due to their strength not so much our weakness.
Fletcher was helped by having a stubborn captain in Nasser Hussain, who taught the team how to scrap for a draw, followed by a man who taught them how to win. This day in 1999 marked the end of Michael Vaughan's debut Test match and he has undeniably been one of Fletcher's great successes. Chris Adams and Gavin Hamilton were less of a wise pick.
John McNamara emailed me yesterday to ask why I have not mentioned South Africa's last-ball ODI win on Sunday against New Zealand, particularly as Andre Nel, a frequent commenter on this blog, was the hero, scoring ten runs off five balls.
Well, John, I just didn't want to encourage him, but if Andre has something to say about it, here is his chance. Although why don't we hear from him about something else, such as the Springboks' chances against the Barbarians this weekend or his historical view, as a recent visitor to Zimbabwe, of the late Ian Smith?
John also asks whether Kyle Mills's return of five wickets for 25 runs was one of the best by a bowler on a losing side in an ODI. To which the answer is: it's the tenth-best analysis by a losing bowler. Imran Khan heads the list with six for 14 against India in 1985. Shame that Pakistan were skitted for 87.
Our friend Andre makes the list with a return of five for 45 that was not good enough to help South Africa to beat Bangladesh in the World Cup this year. Now that really was embarrassing.
England's final (and, worryingly, their first) proper 11-a-side warm-up game for the Test series in Sri Lanka was an up-and-down affair. Yesterday, the scorecard made us look like such a bunch of Muppets that, following Marvan Atapattu's recent suggestion, I fully expected Michael Vaughan and Kevin Pietersen to be co-opted on to Sri Lanka's selection panel.
Then Hoggard did his usual Mr Dependable piece, assisted by Ravi Bopara, and the Sri Lankans were routed this morning for 81, leaving England less than 250 to chase in lots of time. No sweat (well, probably buckets of sweat, but you know what I mean).
So where does this leave things before the first Test, which starts on Saturday? Paul Collingwood, who was rested for this match, will return, leaving one space in the top six up for grabs between Bopara and Owais Shah. Both had good matches, Shah making 59 runs for once out, Bopara making 47 and 21 and adding three wickets in 21 overs. I'd say Bopara would be more useful, but then I have that Essex bias. Anyway, I quite like Shah, too. And he can bowl a bit of spin, but so can Vaughan and Pietersen. Arggh. This is why I'm not a selector. I'd pick both and drop Bell. Maybe.
"Ravi's had a good start to the trip, and he's an exciting cricketer," Vaughan said. "But Ace was out there at the end and that time in the middle will be invaluable for him." That may settle it. Once the captain has given someone a nickname, especially one as cool as Ace, he is in.
As for the bowling, well Hoggard, Sidebottom and Panesar are surely inked in. I think we need someone who can bat at No 8, so that is Anderson and Harmison out. No point picking someone who may not last five days, in any case. Poor old Harmison is bowling so poorly, back injury or not, that it is a wonder he is out there. As The Atheist writes on another blog: "Like mythical African diseases, he just gets worse the more you are exposed to him. I mean really. He's bollarks."
All of which leaves Stuart Broad or Graeme Swann as the man to, in the old language, "put his hand up and come to the party". I'd go for Broad, who has more chance of scoring 20-odd and taking four-for than Swann.
 Australia would never stomach a dour football-lover as their Prime Minister, so it goes without saying that, unlike Gordon Brown, the new Aussie PM must be a cricket fan. But what does Kevin Rudd have to say about the noble sport, given that John Howard was quite happy to spout his opinions from beating the Poms to Murali's action?
Not much, it seems. As opposition leader, he popped up four years ago to defend Henry Olonga and Andy Flower after their protest at the death of democracy in Zimbabwe. Rudd tried to get the Government to give Olonga a scholarship to play in - and possibly for - Australia. He has also spoken out in favour of Australia not touring Zimbabwe until Mugabe is deposed.
His constituency includes the Gabba cricket ground and Rudd has said that he was "an attacking batsman in backyard cricket" while a diplomat in China but that's about it. He was at least savvy enough not to allow the media to film him playing cricket, unlike Howard who found that footage of him failing to land a ball on the wicket became a favourite on YouTube. So if anyone does have any info on Rudd and cricket, let me know. Aussies may be reassured by this statistic: under Labour governments they have won 2.2 times more Tests against England than they have lost, while under the Liberals or their forerunners the win ratio is only 1.3. The reverse is true for England where our national team have won the Ashes only four times under Labour (losing 13 series) compared with a 16-18 series record under the Conservatives. If Brown goes for an election in May 2009, people may feel that voting for David Cameron is the best chance of winning back the Ashes.
A quick question: which is the most successful country in one-day internationals in 2007?
Those who got swayed by Australia winning the World Cup should hang their heads: Australia are only the second-best team in terms of win percentage this year.
The best, helped by beating Bermuda 3-0 in a series last month, are Kenya, who have won 13 of their 17 ODIs this year, a win percentage of 76.47 to Australia's mere 73.33. Even if Australia sweep New Zealand 3-0 next month, they will not be able to overtake Kenya. That CB Series defeat to England back in February proved crucial!
Cynics will observe that only two of those ODIs were against Test-level opponents (New Zealand and England) and that Kenya lost both of them handsomely, but you can only play the opponents put in front of you. What's more, it is nice to know that by some dubious abuse of statistics Australia can be prevented from winning all the crowing honours this year.
(Nod to Andrew Nixon's fascinating minnows bloggage for this straw-grabbing opportunity)
An unfortunate coincidence, but the day after CMJ wrote in The Times about the extraordinarily rude measures that England's security men are taking to keep the public away from the players at their friendly match in Sri Lanka, an e-mail was sent out by the ECB, trying to drum up membership of the official England Supporters Club (a snip at £45).
"We have managed to repackage our offering in a way that you will appreciate, allowing you to get much closer to the England team," the e-mail says. Just so long as you stay on your side of the fence and don't dare to ask for autographs at a friendly match...
Why are England so terrified of engaging with their fans? I can understand a distance being kept at the Tests, when their focus should be on the game, but surely the whole point of tour matches is for fans to meet their heroes and get autographs? I well remember as a youngster being able to go and shake hands with guys like Malcolm Marshall or Kepler Wessels during intervals at tour matches against Essex.
One of the nicest players I met was Hansie Cronje, who I saw as a 16-year-old when South Africa came to Chelmsford. "Will Essex beat you?" I asked. "Sure, kid," he said. "Slip me a tenner and consider it done."
(Hat-tip for the e-mail to the esteemed photographer Graham Morris)
I've been off work this week, hence the light posting, but I've been enjoying watching the first Test between India and Pakistan, which is proving to be that rare beast: a low-scoring thriller. Assuming that Pakistan don't do anything silly tomorrow, this will be only the third match this year when neither side has reached 300 runs in one of the four innings.
On the two previous occasions, they were great matches. In January, South Africa rallied from 39 for four in the final innings to chase the 161 they needed to beat Pakistan; while at Lord's in July, India batted for 96 overs in the last innings to earn a draw with England.
Who really wants to see matches involving teams scoring 500+ runs and then either throttling the oppo or giving up 500 runs themselves? Give me a tense, even battle between bat and ball any day. There seem to be few devils in this Delhi pitch, but that is not to diminish the efforts of Misbah-ul-Haq's 82 and VVS Laxman's 72, which have shown up their team-mates' failings in the face of fine bowling. The purest form of cricket should live up to its name and be a test.
Not the best of starts to England's Sri Lanka tour, then. An admittedly strong Board XI declare on 500-5, having had a fair bit of fun at the England bowlers' expense. Nine bowlers used, although Bopara was bafflingly given only one over (costing four runs) while Stephen Harmison may have played himself out of the Test team with six overs for 48 runs. His bowling shoes may have been mislaid at the airport but it is still a bit worrying.
The three hundreds for the Sri Lanka side were scored by men with first-class career averages of 30, 33 and 29. Not good, not good at all.
Ronald Reagan once said that the most frightening sentence in the English language is "Trust me, I'm from the Government and I'm here to help." For cricket lovers, it might be "Trust me, I'm from the ICC/ECB and we're setting up a working party to look at ways to enhance spectators' enjoyment." It will inevitably lead to more reductions in spectators' liberties.
The latest ECB working party issued its report yesterday on how to respond to a smattering of incidents of bad behaviour last season. The press release was caked in references to protecting the "unique atmosphere and spirit of cricket", "preserving cricket's excellent reputation" etc. What it actually entails is a further reduction in the amount of trust that the governing body is prepared to give to its customers. A few oiks act like hooligans, therefore no one shall be allowed to do much more than sit and watch the game, preferably in silence.
Continue reading "Bad boys spoil it for everyone" »
Our guest blogger, Peter McGuinness, bunked off work again yesterday to see if Australia would choke defending a target of more than 500
"Well, today went to prove that I wasn't completely out of mind to think that victory for Sri Lanka was not totally out of the question. Again, Sri Lanka were their own worst enemy in perfect batting conditions. Jayasuriya edged a wide one, Silva played away from his body, Prassana Jayawardena shouldered arms to a straight one next ball, Maharoof played a seriously silly shot to a MacGill long hop and Fernando suffered a galactic brain explosion by running himself out on the third run from the first delivery he faced. It is true that the Aussies created pressure, but even so, there was some weird batting from blokes who were supposed to be saving (or even winning) a Test match.
And believe me winning was on the cards.
Continue reading "Sri Lanka come up short" »
Hurrah for Chris Martin. No, not the drip from dreary Coldplay ("save the world, plant a tree" - call that Rock and Roll?) but the New Zealand fast bowler who is fast becoming the anti-Bradman with his heroic hapless efforts with the bat. Martin has just completed a two-Test series in South Africa with no runs to his name from four innings (although his final innings yesterday was nought not out) and he faced a grand sum of 11 balls. Martin actually batted at No 10 twice in the series, but only because two of his team-mates got injured.
Martin made the error of scoring seven runs in his first Test, thus denying himself a perfect career average, but he has been working hard to send his batting average back towards zero ever since. After 48 innings he now averages 2.00 and although England will try hard to deny him after Christmas looks good to be heading towards 1 in the next 12 months. His past 13 innings have garnered six runs.
With 20 career ducks he is some way behind Courtney Walsh's world record of 43, but that was in 185 innings. In fact, Martin has had fewer ducks in his career so far than Steve Waugh, 22, but Waugh balanced them with an indecent career average of some 50 runs higher than Martin.
However, Martin already holds the record for the most pairs - five - and given faith by the New Zealand selectors he can claim Walsh's record in the next couple of years.
Is there anything worse than a fair-minded Aussie? Peter McGuinness has sent the following match report on day 4 of the Hobart Test and still thinks that Sri Lanka, needing 260 runs to win in a whole day with seven wickets in hand, can win the match. If it were someone of another nation saying it, you'd find that comment patronising or needlessly fraidy, but Peter, like many Aussies, says it simply because if the situations were reversed Australia would believe they could win from there. Maybe that is what we are doing wrong. I'd say that losing Jayawardena first ball probably killed all hope
"A great day of highly competitive Test cricket today in Hobart. In fact, it is what the ultimate form of the game is all about. The pitch is not a 'road', but a 'highway', so although the Sri Lankan lads have been set a seemingly (understatement) 507 for victory, it was (and is) far from out of the question that the tourists can save the match.
"The Aussies may have batted Sri Lanka's chances away, but the game ebbed and flowed hour by hour with the kind of battlng and pure tactics that are simply not showcased in the lesser, abbreviated forms of the great game. Jaques made a big score again, while Ponting and - of course - Hussey remained undefeated at the declaration. Thus began a fantastic ball vs bat battle that pulsated until stumps.
Continue reading "Sri Lanka not out of it yet" »
Honestly, you send a private email to a mate on another blog and suddenly he is trumpeting your geekery to the world. As Will has outed me now as a complete saddo, I paste a fuller version of my working-out here:
Mike Hussey is a long way from being justifiably called Bradmanesque - he only averages 87 in his 18th Test for a start, whereas Bradman was averaging 112 at the same point of his career - but he is getting that way. Hussey, not out over night in Hobart, has scored 1,831 runs in 21 completed Test innings.
There are 25 more Tests for Australia before the next Ashes series so if Hussey plays in each match and gets not outs at the present rate then he will have 31 completed innings before the Ashes.
So... I think that means he needs another 3,369 runs in those 31 completed innings to be averaging 100 by the time the Ashes starts, which means that he needs to average 109 from here on in (of course, he has the rest of this match to knock that down a little).
Perhaps once he gets to an average of 100 he will consider retiring to maintain his average? Ideally, just before the Lord's Test...
 Never accuse this blog of not getting the big scoops. A mere 54 years after Hillary and Tenzing scaled Everest, Graham Napier, the Essex all-rounder, got close to matching their feat last week when he was part of a party that climbed the big rock in Nepal and, unlike Hillary and Tenzing, played cricket at Base Camp. Relieved to be back in the foothills of Chelmsford, Napier spoke to Line and Length (in a "spoke to the Essex press officer who emailed me the quotes sort of way") about his experience, which was to raise money for the Professional Cricketers Association Benevolent Fund:
 "The walk was fantastic. It has to be the biggest achievement of my life so far. By the time we reached Base Camp we were walking on adrenalin alone and the enormous sense of achievement felt by us all is difficult to explain.
"At the beginning we took in some very picturesque scenery at the bottom of forestry, woodlands and glacial rivers. Then it gradually became more bleak and colder but the higher we went the more we could see of the tops of the mountains, which made for some amazing views.
"Unfortunately one of our companions had to drop out before the end due to altitude sickness which dented all of our morale as the days were becoming harder as it went on anyway. But we took his flag along with us to the top and had our pictures taken with it to show our solidarity. That one of our group had to pull out made us all realise how tough the walk was. If we needed further inspiration it came when we passed a 69-year-old who was also trying to make it up to Base Camp, which was a phenomenal effort.
Continue reading "Napier scales the summit (nearly)" »
Peter McGuinness, that Brisbane wino, spurred by Line and Length's offer of free wine for match reports (even if he has to come to Wapping to claim it) has sent this report of the first day's play in Hobart. He wasn't there himself but some unsavoury friend of his called Snake was and sent him commentary while McGuinness watched on TV at home (which is more than I did, it being on so late).
"It is situation normal at the completion of Day 1 in Hobart. Australia are 3/329 [no they're not you fool, they are 329/3 - PK] at the close of play. Although I couldn't make it to Belrieve, I did enjoy the day's play on the tele. My mate - Snake - was present on the hill and gave me updates by phone on the half hour. The first three reports were erudite and sharp. The remainder trailed off. First in their shrewdness, and then in their legibility.
Seems Cascade Lager, the beer that was first brewed by convicts under the strict supervision of Redcoat alcoholics in the penal colony of Van Dieman's Land, way back when you lot preferred not to cross the equator, was quite to Snake's taste. Despite the appalling professionalism of my eyewitness sources, I can relay with complete reliability that Australia have again thoroughly dominated Sri Lanka's attack, to all but take the game away from the tourists by stumps.
Continue reading "Australia v Sri Lanka, take 2" »
John Buchanan is many things (visionary, great coach, Ned Flanders lookalike...) but he is not usually prone to making idiotic statements. When he comes up with an idea, it is worth listening. But the latest seems to have an obvious flaw.
Australia is too strong at Test cricket and it is killing the game, Buchanan says. His solution? Turn Test nations into franchises and allow people to play for whoever they like with barely any qualification period. That way, those fringe Australian players who are frustrated at not getting a game in their own country can turn out for, say, South Africa or India even if they have no birth connection with those countries.
Apart from the sheer patronising tone - not good enough to beat Australia? why not sign up a few Australians to help you! - this idea is a loony non-flyer. Test cricket should not be about artificial team-making, it should be about pride and passion and playing for the country where you were born (or to which you have had to made a substantial commitment, as the likes of Kevin Pietersen have).
I may be old-fashioned, but I want to see England play Australia, not a team called, say, the England Lions who are as English as Arsenal FC taking on the Australia Wallabies, who have bought up the best spin bowlers the Asian sub-continent can find.
And how stifling of natural talent will it be in countries whose representatives grew up in Wagga Wagga rather than the same schools and villages where Test players used to be bred? You can kiss good bye to any West Indian children wanting to become cricketers if their side is packed with South Africans for a start. No, it is a silly idea, John.
As you'll see from this morning's Times, I interviewed Monty Panesar recently, who was promoting a Barmy Army DVD. Now I like Monty, he is a fine bowler, a great character and clearly loves playing cricket. But he is the dullest person I have ever interviewed - and I've had dinner with Steve Davis (who despite his "Mr Interesting" image is actually quite a fun bloke, with a good line in filthy jokes).
Monty just looks at you with those deep dark eyes and then says something anodyne about "taking positives out of defeat", "bowling good areas" or "just focusing on cricket". It is tough to come back with a good news line from talking to him. Here are two bits of the interview that somehow didn't make it into the paper...
Me: Have you visited Sri Lanka before?
Monty: Yes, with England A
Me: Did you enjoy it?
Monty: Yes.
Me: Where have you most enjoyed touring?
Monty: Everywhere really.
And then there was this:
Me: How do you relax on tour?
Monty: I enjoy playing pool
Me: Are you the best pool player in the side?
Monty: No
Me: Who is?
Monty: I don't know
Tricky, very tricky. I was sort of hoping for some anecdote about the time Geraint Jones had to run round the table with his trousers down as a forfeit for losing to Saj Mahmood. Still, maybe it is better than the big-headed ego rants you get from Kevin Pietersen.
I had never heard of Brian Binley until just now (apparently he is the Conservative MP for Northampton South), but he has risen briefly out of the pit of backbench anonymity by becoming the first MP to table a motion about cricket in the new Parliamentary session that began last week.
Early Day Motions are a way in which MPs can pretend to their constituents that they are being busy. They hardly ever get debated, but just by tabling your own motion (or sticking your name on someone else's) an MP will have the excuse to rattle out a press release to his local papers saying "Brian Binley today told Parliament that..."
Anyway, Mr Binley's motion "congratulates Sri Lanka on 25 years of Test cricket and 170 Test matches; notes how they have transformed themselves into a major cricketing nation and recognises their achievement in reaching the 2007 Cricket World Cup Final and winning the 1996 World Cup Final; notes their first Test match was against England in 1982; and wishes both teams luck in the forthcoming Test series in Sri Lanka".
That they have played 171 Tests is by the by (as indeed is their recent crushing defeat by Australia and the fact that their 25th anniversary should have been celebrated last February). Mr Binley is to be congratulated on becoming the first MP to raise cricket in the House this session and hopefully he will encourage his colleagues to do important things like this rather than waste time imposing laws and taxes on the rest of us.
Now we know what was really wrong with the World Cup this year. It wasn't the expensive tickets, lack of atmosphere caused by excessive regulations, paucity of decent matches or the fact that it went on for two months. It was the absence of an official pop song.
The organisers of the next jamboree in 2011 on the Asian sub-continent are acting with disturbing pace to remedy that. They have asked Brett Lee to produce and perform the competition's theme song. Expectations are that given the size of the audience in south Asia, Lee could become a bigger-selling artiste even than Kylie. Good grief.
Lee, who missed the last World Cup with injury and will possibly be too old, at 34, to play in the 2011 event is determined to make his mark somehow. He has already had a No 2 hit in India and South Africa that for some reason has not yet made it on to my iPod.
The question is, what song should he go for? Many expect it will be a new composition, but there would be just cause given the ICC's apparent sole priority to record a cover version of the Beatles' Money (That's What I Want). Any other suggestions for appropriate cover songs?
Another guest blogger reports from the Gabba on the first three days of play in the Aus/SL Test. We always welcome eye-witness accounts of cricket or of interviews with cricketers (see the load of Pollocks below). I pay in wine, the hitch being that you have to come to Wapping or Blackheath to claim it. All entries to patrick.kidd@thetimes.co.uk
Peter McGuinness writes... "G'day Patrick [I mean, how stereotypical an Aussie intro is that? - PK] A really, really entertaining three days at the game - if not very competitive. Firstly, the game is being played in terrific spirit on the field and around the ground. I'm happy to report that there's been good humour between fans of both sides, without the slightest hint of ill feeling. I'm sure this disappoints certain people who would have been happy to see it otherwise, and have something to abuse the Australian public (ie, ME) about. BAD LUCK.
"They paid a colossal price for not picking Malinga and then sending us in. The giant stuff-up was eerily reminiscent of the failure of England's 'Brains Trust' at the same venue exactly 12 months ago. Maybe Fletch has been mentoring Trevor Bayliss in his new-found spare time.
Continue reading "Australia: lots for not many; Sri Lanka: not many for lots" »
I've ignored the other Test match going on this week, but as Australia head effortlessly towards victory over Sri Lanka it is right to look at events in Johannesburg, where South Africa have turned a low-scoring thriller into a position of awesome strength. Halfway through the match, they have gone from being bowled out for 226 to being 470 runs ahead thanks to some fine bowling from Dale Steyn and some excellent batting from Jacques Kallis and Hashim Amla.
For some reason, perhaps because he is a more than useful bowler as well, Kallis the batsman never gets mentioned in the same breath as other greats of our day. Ask someone to name the five best batsman of the past decade and they would probably choose any of Ponting, Tendulkar, Lara, Dravid, Pietersen, Hayden, Yousuf, Inzamam, Jayawardena, Vaughan before getting to Kallis.
Yet he has scored more than 9,000 Test runs (only eight men have done that), passing Gooch during his innings of 186 in this match, has 28 Test hundreds and averages almost 58, behind only Hussey and Ponting of modern players. He is one of the immortals of the game - and only 32! Why does he not get more recognition? And why would so many men in the street regard that old soak Flintoff as a better all-rounder?
 It is rare that you get a journalist admitting that he is wrong once, let alone twice in the same blog post so brace yourself for this mea culpa immensa. I was offered the chance to interview Mark Ramprakash yesterday at a "Surrey in the community" educational day but when I found out I'd only get five minutes with him, and that space was tight in the paper anyway, I decided to spend what was anyway supposed to be a day off in the library working on the great unwritten British novel instead. "Ramps never says anything interesting," I thought. Mistake.
Apparently, he has turned down a request by England to be on stand-by for the Sri Lanka tour. I find this astonishing. Not that he turned them down but that England had so insulted the leading batsman in the county game. That he is one of the seven best batsmen in the country is undeniable, what has been at dispute is whether he has the temperament to employ his skills at the top level. If England think his old mental frailties are still there, don't select him at all. If they think he can do the job, pick him in the side from the start. Yes, even at the expense of Ravi Bopara.
Continue reading "Ramprakash snubs England" »
Line and Length is delighted to welcome a guest writer to the blog. Lorna Blackwood, my friend and former colleague from the Times's property section, was in South Africa this week and bumped into Shaun Pollock, the former SA captain and Richie Cunningham lookalike who is "resting" during his country's first Test against New Zealand.
Top journalist that she is, and perhaps swayed by my policy of "I'll pay for any L&L stories with wine", she chucked a few questions at him, although foolishly she didn't ask how the Fonz and Potsie are these days. Apparently Pollock, the former Warwickshire player, does an "excellent" Brummie accent but his Cockney attempts are ropey. If only Lorna had had a tape recorder...
Pollock begins with a familiar complaint among international cricketers: "Last year I spent only 35 days in my own bed," he said, adding that after 12 years on the international cricket scene, his priorities are beginning to change. "I have two small children now and the more I am away the more I miss them grow and develop."
So you weren't too upset when you were dropped for the first time recently during the Pakistan tour? "I wasn't actually dropped, I was still in the team and played the one dayers, which I did well in."
He is referring to his man-of-the-match performance in the fourth one-day international to level the series against Pakistan. I suppose that is the best way of answering your critics? "I don't think I really have anything to prove now. I am getting on a bit, at the twilight stage of my international career, I just enjoy playing and hopefully make the most of any opportunities I get."
Do you see yourself playing the international circuit for much longer then or will you be announcing your retirement shortly? Pollock gives a wry smile. "Watch this space. I certainly won't be hanging around for ever. Life has changed for me in the last few years - I am now a family man and enjoy that side of life. I have been blessed with many good years at the top of my field and have some great memories."
Continue reading "Shaun Pollock talks to The Times" »
Hands up who else is already bored of seeing Australia back in action? It's a bit like England's first Test in Brisbane last winter - it has taken only two days for Australia to kill off all that anticipation that had built up over the past few months. Sri Lanka fell into the same trap as England, letting fear influence their selection choices so they went for the more predictable Fernando or Maharoof over the more dangerous but potentially more expensive Malinga. Trouble is, Australia smell fear and have the tendency to exploit it.
Still, it is good to see cricket played with a red ball and men in white clothes again. And the historian in me, the part that is desperate to see someone beat that midget Bradman's giant record, is delighted that Mike Hussey has made his sixth hundred and now averages more than 82. With 26 more Tests before the next Ashes, Hussey can be averaging 100 by the time he next faces England. Perhaps that will encourage him to retire rather than play us?
Well, that's rather an unfair headline but it is interesting that Tendulkar seems to have developed a bout of the yips when he is in the nineties.
Tendulkar was caught behind for 99 off Umar Gul this morning, trying to steer the ball to third man, the third time he has been out one shy of a hundred in the past four and a half months. In that time he has also been out for 93 and 94 in ODIs, making five times in his past 20 ODI innings that he has been dismissed in the nineties. He also scored 91 against England in the Trent Bridge Test match.
In his career, Tendulkar has been out in the nineties in 15 ODIs, yet he has played more than anyone, passing Sanath Jayasuriya's record of 403 in today's match, and perhaps it is inevitable that he will occasionally fall short. He has, after all, had 41 ODI hundreds, 16 more than Jayasuriya. There is a fair case to say that Tendulkar is the best one-day batsman there has ever been (perhaps excepting Viv Richards), but his knack of falling just shy of three figures is perplexing. Does he pay too much attention to his score (and thus get out in his over-anxiety to reach a hundred) or not enough?
Either way, what would England give for someone who gets so close to 100 as often as Tendulkar? Pietersen has five ODI hundreds, Collingwood four, Flintoff three and Strauss two with one each for Bell, Cook and Shah of recent players. Results have been good for the England team of late, but we could still do with a batsman who can build a long innings.
Perhaps I shouldn't be blogging on the first Test in Brisbane in protest at Cricket Australia acting like what I believe Aussies call "a bunch of dills", trying to restrict what copy newspapers can write from the Gabba and retain copyright on any photos, but I've never been much of a militant. This blog does cricket, not industrial disputes.
A potentially fascinating day, with all sorts of sub-plots involving world records and the next generation of Ashes opponents, ended with Australia firmly ahead on 242 for three on a rain-shortened day. Win the toss and bat is normally the advice at the Gabba, but the conditions probably persuaded Mahela Jayawardena on calling correctly to put Australia in. Lord knows, then, why Sri Lanka went into the match without Lasith Malinga, their most potent weapon on such a track and in such conditions.
As Peter McGuinness, this blog's version of Mrs Trellis from North Wales, put it in an e-mail from Brisbane this morning: "They've lost their minds. A juicy pitch in tropical Brisbane humidity and THEY LEFT OUT MALINGA!!"
Then again, PMcG also told me that Phil Jaques's "technique is dodgy", which given that Jaques made his maiden Test hundred this morning seems a bit worrying. That said, Pietersen also has a dodgy technique and it doesn't seem to have troubled him.
In Muralitharan-watch, the spinner with the grinning leer took two wickets, both stumped, to move him to within seven of the world record. And Ricky Ponting, by making only 56, caused his career average to slump farther away from 60. Washed-up old has-been.
I normally take little interest in that silly but popular sport in which grown men spend 90 minutes falling over and whining about the referee, but we could be about to witness a parallel between football and cricket. David Beckham is in line for a return to the England football team for the friendly against Austria on November 16 and the last Euro 2008 qualifying match against Croatia five days later.
Steve McClaren, the England head coach, was in Los Angeles on Sunday to watch Beckham play in a charity match, which suggests that either McClaren wants the former captain to play, is very charity-minded (presumably he is donating the price of his air fare to the charity) or had little to do on Sunday evening. And having seen the TV schedules, that may well be the reason.
Anyway, the cricket link: if Beckham plays in both matches it will mean he has won 99 caps for England but, barring a miracle, England will not qualify for Euro 2008 and we can assume that will be the end of McClaren's spell as national coach. It is hard to see the next coach, with an eye on qualifying for the 2010 World Cup, wanting to keep Beckham on for sentimentality, which means that Beckham's career will end on 99 caps, the same number as Mohammad Azharuddin, the former India cricket captain.
Azhar, of course, failed to reach his hundred because of match-fixing allegations, while Beckham also put greed for money ahead of protecting his reputation (albeit, we stress, in a perfectly legal way).
Another who will share Beckham's pain is Brian Lara, whose one-day career fell a single match short of him being the first West Indian to play 300 ODIs. Run out backing up at the non-striker's end by Kevin Pietersen, the shame of it.
See, there was a cricket link. There could even be a second if Frank Yallop, the now departed coach of Beckham's LA Galaxy football team, has a cousin in Australia called Graham.
Some fascinating cricket gets under way this week:
India play host to Pakistan for five one-day internationals followed by three Tests. "Bigger than the Ashes" was the verdict of Geoff Lawson, the new Pakistan coach. Well, it all depends on who you are and where you live, but it certainly promises to be a great series. Already some astounding things have happened: Rahul Dravid is being rested, Mahendra Dhoni has had a sensible haircut... But some things stay reassuringly the same: Pakistan still don't know who are their first-choice opening batsmen. And all this against a political backdrop in Pakistan that is even more volatile than normal. It is probably a good thing that India are not touring Pakistan.
Sri Lanka begin a two-Test series in Australia, where the teams will compete for the inaugural Warne-Muralitharan Trophy, named after the greatest two spinners the world has seen. But here's an interesting thought: if Stuart MacGill is selected and takes two wickets for Australia, he will have reached 200 Test wickets in 41 matches and would be the second fastest spinner to 200 after Clarrie Grimmett. Both Warne and Muralitharan took 42 matches to get to that landmark... So who's really the greatest? By coincidence, Warne also reached his landmark in a home Test against Sri Lanka. The touring side don't start the series in the best of spirits: they've just lost a three-day game to Queensland. Are there any Brisbaners out there who went to see how England's next opponents look? (cue: P McG)
Last and, well, probably least to be far - but still fascinating nonetheless - is South Africa v New Zealand. The home side welcome back Shaun Pollock after an enforced rest (will this be his final series?) while the away side, under a new captain in Daniel Vettori, start the Test series in the same position as Sri Lanka do against the Aussies, having lost a tour match to South Africa A.
Brilliant stuff and it means we can all forget about the hoo-hah over Duncan Fletcher's book.
Continuing my series of the Top 20 Asian Cricketers I Have Enjoyed Watching, to welcome Dileep Premachandran's Doosra blog to the Times Online stable, here is my Top Ten. I stress that this is purely based on the pleasure they have given me and I'm sure that there will be disagreements - not least, I hope, from Dileep - so let me know who I have missed out by clicking "comments" below.
10 Shahid Afridi One of the few players who can empty bars by coming out to bat, generally because his innings are so short but so explosive, right from that debut as a 16-year-old in 1996 when he made the fastest ever ODI hundred. And he keeps getting better - in nine ODIs in 2007 he has averaged 40 at a strike rate of 185!
9 Wasim Akram It seems astonishing that Akram's Pakistan career ended only four years ago - and that he has even played one county Twenty20 match, a format he would have been ideally suited for. Regularly the scourge of England teams, more in ODIs than Tests, but particularly with the balls that got Allan Lamb and Chris Lewis in the 1992 World Cup final.
 8 Waqar Younis I rated Waqar as by far the more fearsome bowling threat than Wasim, but as a pairing they were deadly. If Russian nuclear weapons were what gave English schoolchildren sleepless nights in the 1980s, Waqar's inswinging yorkers had a similar effect in the 1990s. If only English bowlers had made such a virtue of aiming at the stumps as he did.
7 Aravinda de Silva If he had only scored the crucial runs that beat Australia in the 1996 World Cup final, De Silva would have a special place in most non-Aussie fans' hearts, but he was the rock of Sri Lanka's batting for so long. 6,300 runs at an average of 43, with 20 hundreds, is good going. He was much loved at Kent as well, where he averaged almost 60 and hit seven first-class hundreds in 1995.
6 Sanath Jayasuriya The hero of the 1996 World Cup and one of the longest-running success stories in cricket. Having made his international debut in 1989, he is still playing ODIs with almost 19,000 international runs to his name. Such a powerful player but with more grace than Afridi.
5 Sachin Tendulkar Sacrilege, I know, not to put Tendulkar in the top three, but I simply find the four above him more attractive to watch. But that takes nothing away from my awe at the longevity and weight of runs that Tendulkar has accrued, as well as how he has dealt with the pressure of such fame. The first I heard of him was when India came to England in 1990, that wonderful Test series, but though the 17-year-old made a hundred at Old Trafford, what really stood out was a superb catch, one-handed, on the boundary after seemingly running round the whole perimeter of the field to get there. Perhaps his regular failures at Lord's, where I watch more cricket than anywhere else, pushes him down a notch, but who can forget his wonderful batting in the World Cup in 2003?
 4 Mohammad Yousuf I confess: I have a thing about beards and the next two in this list earn brownie points for their chin growth. But what an astounding batsman Yousuf is - the heir to Saeed Anwar in beard terms as well as batsmanship. He always looks so composed at the crease, whether it is whipping the ball off his legs or driving it handsomely through mid off. Yousuf's run of scores against England in 2005 and 2006 was astounding: 78, 20, 223, 202, 48, 38, 15, 192, 8, 128. I don't like watching England get punished, but I can appreciate the art of the man doing it.
3 Inzamam-ul-Haq Not just bearded but fat as well. Wonderful. I have written of my respect for Inzy many times on this blog. Like Yousuf, he had great fun at the England bowlers' expense in 2005 - having done his part to win the 1992 World Cup as well. I will miss this great puncher of the ball, a man who batted in the style of my hero, Gooch, and a superb entertainer whenever he was at the crease - especially if called for a quick single.
2 Muttiah Muralitharan The best spinner in the world for the past decade - sorry Warney - and the man who owns the twinkliest eyes outside of Broadway. Sri Lanka are far from being a one-man team but Muralitharan is to his country's cricket side what Jonny Wilkinson is to England's rugby side. There is an extra zip to their fast bowling, a bit more purpose to their batting, when they know that Murali is there, waiting to be thrown the ball and given the chance to run through a side. Some days it seems that he is never taken off. Has had three ten-wicket matches against England, most notably the 16 wickets he bagged at the Oval in 1998.
 1 Rahul Dravid The only one in this list whose debut I witnessed. June 22, 1996, and Dravid walks out to bat for the first time in a Test match at the now unfamiliar position of No 7. He made 95 before being caught behind off Chris Lewis. Saurav Ganguly, who made 131 on his own debut in that match, got most of the attention but Dravid has proved the better. He is rightly called the rock, for the solidity of his defence, but this does not mean that he lacks flamboyance. A wonderful timer of the ball, a great accumulator of runs. The only disappointment is that his series against England this summer was muted - just the one 50. But after an astounding series on India's previous tour, when he made 115, 148 and 217 in successive innings, he was due a few low scores. Has been dropped by India; let's hope it is only short-term.
Line and Length has a new web buddy. Starting today on Times Online, there are two cricket blogs in town. There is this one, with the usual rambling wit, eccentric wimsy, hero worship of Essex batsmen and shouts of "pillock" at Kevin Pietersen and Paul Nixon. And then there is The Doosra, a cricket blog with an Asian spin that will be written by the excellent Mr Dileep Premachandran. I hope that L&L's many readers make the Doosra as big a part of their daily routine as brushing their teeth and evacuating their lower colon. But don't forget who flirted with you first.
It is a great time to launch an Asian cricket blog, with India about to square up against their old sparring partners next door and Sri Lanka attempting to gain revenge for the World Cup final in Australia. You'll still find the occasional post about Asian cricket on Line and Length. It's just that Dileep won't need to run to Wisden to check the spelling of the players' names so often.
To welcome the Doosra to Times Online's blogosphere, how about a list? Here is part one of Line and Length's Top 20 Asian cricketers I Have Enjoyed Watching (ie, since England v Pakistan in 1987). It's a personal list and some are in there purely for one or two moments of magic. Why not share your own favourites by clicking "comments" below?
 20 Mohammad Ashraful Gets in for one innings - the hundred he made at Cardiff that helped Bangladesh to beat Australia before the Ashes summer. The match was on TV while I was playing for The Times against the Daily Mail. When we resumed after tea, the ODI was heading Australia's way. When we came back in, Bangladesh were on the verge of victory and Ashraful, left, was a hero
19 Zaheer Khan So close to perfection last summer when he took the first nine Essex wickets to fall when bowling for Worcestershire. We came back the next morning hoping to see history. Instead Darren Gough was dropped down the leg side off Zaheer and his haul stalled at nine. Also gets in for his part in Jellybean-gate this summer.
18 Javagal Srinath My affection for Srinath faded slightly when he got rid of the neatly-clipped moustache that made him resemble Gupte, the nurse, in Only When I Laugh but there was much to admire in this Indian Glenn McGrath. Swung the ball and hit the deck hard but most importantly, he was very accurate.
17 Mohammad Azharuddin The India captain during one of those formative series that whet a young fan's appetite for cricket. England v India, 1990. It was Gooch's series, but the moustachioed maestro was matched at Lord's when Azhar hit a sumptuous 121 that almost saved the game. He made 179 in the second Test, too, as India avoided the follow-on.
Continue reading "Two blogs for the price of none" »
Brian Lara, Inzamam-ul-Haq, Ricky Ronting ... Paul Nixon. Leicestershire's gobby wicketkeeper is the latest star foreign player to sign up for the new Indian Premier Cricket League and he will be a good addition. Nixon's tale over the past year has been a great fairytale: seemingly near the end of his career he was called up by England at the age of 36 to play in Australia, went to the World Cup and now finds himself getting huge pay offers from India. (Note: thanks to the reader who pointed out that Nixon is heading for the unofficial Cricket League rather than the official Premier League that Ponting is joining)
He's still a pillock, though. "India is the Mecca of cricket," he said on signing his contract. Lord's, surely, is the Mecca of cricket in that it is the world-recognised birthplace of the game (well, technially Hambledon is recognised as that but you know what I mean). India, if we must use an Islamic metaphor, is maybe the Constantinople of cricket, where the game spread and caught on like wildfire. Or perhaps the Leicester of cricket? Doesn't have the same ring.
I'm not sure why Nixon gets such chances late in life on the basis of little more than a big mouth, while Mark Ramprakash can't get a look-in at a similar age after twice scoring 2,000 county runs and averaging 100 in a season.
Perhaps this is why: in the latest extracts of his autobiography, Why Does Everyone Hate Me Behind The Shades, Duncan Fletcher says that Chris Read didn't get more of a chance in Australia last winter because he didn't start sledging Shane Warne when the spinner was having a pop at Paul Collingwood.
Never mind that Collingwood is capable of looking after himself (he did after all make a double hundred in Australia), Fletcher is a man who prefers those who are noisy over those who are talented. Rather surprising that he took such exception to being told to "f*** off" by Henry Blofeld, then. Maybe he should have made Blowers the next England wicketkeeper?
 Patrick Kidd is a sports writer for The Times.
He first fell in love with cricket when he saw Graham Gooch swat successive balls over his head for six and on to the same red Cortina's bonnet
at Castle Park, Colchester.
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So wrote Douglas Jardine, the captain of the MCC team that toured Australia in 1932-33. Seventy-five years ago on Sunday, the most fascinating, most controversial, most ill-tempered cricket series began Down Under, yet it was notable for some fantastic cricket and some great stories of derring-do on both sides.
