Don't mention the 5-0 drubbing

I think that I made some resolution a few weeks ago about being kinder to the people who ruin run cricket. Well, it's gone the same way as the "eat less, don't drink" resolutions after receiving a press release just now about how the ECB and npower are planning to market the 2009 Ashes.

For starters, this is the logo. Hmm. Well, at least it is better than the 2012 Olympics brand. But worse than that is the news that there will be an "amusing viral video gently teasing the Australians" about the narrow, tense and thrilling 2-1 victory three years ago. The video will parody the famous Norwegian football commentator's taunt of England in 1981. (You know the one: "Lord Nelson, Margaret Thatcher, Winston Churchill etc etc you boys took a hell of a beating.) The new version will feature famous Australians, including Kylie Minogue, Rolf Harris, Nicole Kidman and Germaine Greer. Being told that their nation took one hell of a beating in 2005.

Now, I like that bit of commentary and I have parodied it myself on this blog (after Australia lost a Twenty20 match to Zimbabwe) but aren't they missing a few rather important points here? Firstly, the wonderful 2005 series was many things but it was certainly not a hell of a beating. It was an edgy, nervy, dramatic tussle and in the end England just stayed ahead of the Aussies. A great piece of sport, but not a beating. To call it such would be as ludicrous as giving out MBEs and open-top bus rides.

Kevin Peake, head of customer marketing at npower (and don't we just love marketing people this week), said: The Aussies have always loved a bit of banter before a big series and they don't come much bigger than this - we just hope they take the video in good spirit." I'm sure it will crush the poor mites, Kev. That's if they don't remind us that when they last played an Ashes series with us, it ended up 5-0 in their favour. Now that was a hell of a beating.

Comments

[Ernie]

The sad part is the Ashes series every 4 years is the only time cricket in England makes it into primetime.

Other than then, cricket is very well down the list of sporting importance in Enlgand.

For the English media, there is the Ashes or there is nothing.

[Innocent Abroad]

Well, I'm still (all these years later - it's sad, I know) preening myself for predicting - over on young William's blog - that the '05 series would be won by the side suffering the fewest injuries.

For '09, I'll stick my neck out and predict:-

Flintoff will play in not more than two Tests;

England will have three different captains during the series;

Australia will go to the Oval either 3-0 or 4-0 up, where Adil Rashid will take 10 wickets on début, as England pocket their customary consolation victory.

[The Atheist]

Oh god. The mind games have started already. This is getting like the American bloogy elections.

Us Englishers get enough abuse for being "Pams" or whatever. And, to my knowledge, that hasn't been much of an organised response.

Now a national energy provider is sticking the boot into the Convicts? This will surely esculate into a cold war: with News International issuing press release "banter" and the Western Australian Mining Corporation bleating anti-English chants.

The English could never win such a campaign.

[David Hinchliffe harrowdrive.com]

"I hear youtube is rather good lets make one of those viral videos shall we?"

[Peter McGuinness]

No problem from an Australian perspective.

One cannot blame marketing tossers for reflecting general public sentiment in the Old Dart.

You will recall that Figjam proclaimed that 'England annihilated Australia' shortly after the 05 series. He was then done an educational favour by his opponents, when the definition of the word was physically demonstrated to him in Australia 18 months later.

I expect a similar favour will be done for the Poms again in 09. That is, if Australia hasn't:

a) Destroyed the game of cricket through beastly bad sportsmanship or;

b) Ceased playing cricket altogether thanks to the abject inability to continue to be competitive after losing a Test Match in 08

by then.

I guess we'll have to wait and see. Seriously though, what crap graphic design in the logo. Did they not think it relevant to depict a stylised urn in there somewhere, or something unique to Ashes Cricket? That artwork looks like it belongs on the back of a toy bat sold at K-Mart. And it probably cost a million quid, to boot.

Nice work if you can get it at 500 grand per hour.

[Venkat]

Indeed the 2005 version of the Ashes was quite interesting..But as you say I'd rather call it as a well-fought contest rather than a drubbing...

[Suave]

Egads, No!!

As Bill Hicks once said (edited for size, obviously)...

"By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. No, this is not a joke: kill yourself . . . I know what the marketing people are thinking now too: 'Oh. He's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market.' Oh man, I am not doing that, you f*****g evil scumbags."