A slap in the face

Hilarious goings-on in India this weekend and (would you believe it?) Harbhajan Singh is again at the centre of a row. Apparently - and this is still under investigation - Harbhajan, the captain of the Mumbai Indians, took exception to being told "hard luck" by Sreesanth, his India team-mate who was playing for the victorious Punjab Kings XI in their IPL match, and Bhaji, model of sanity and decorum that he is, responded by slapping him one under an eye.

Sreesanth was later seen in tears. Although Harbhajan went to the dressing-room and apologised, he has been suspended pending an inquiry tomorrow and could face an ICC punishment even though this is a domestic tournament. Violence towards another player carries a possible ban of five Tests or ten ODIs.

This is hardly a first offence by Harbhajan, the obnoxious little weed, as Matthew Hayden called him, but there seems some irony in Sreesanth being the subject of his assault. The fast bowler is one of the most aggressive on the world stage, who is not above petulant staring, shoving or temper tantrums, which is a shame because he is also a fine bowler. If violence was to break out between two Indians, it would probably be those two: they have form after Harbhajan gave Sreesanth a volley of abuse for dropping a catch off him in the recent Test series.

Scyld Berry, the new Editor of Wisden Cricketers' Almanack, has written of his fear that cricket is becoming more violent and that an assault will happen on the pitch at some point. How the BCCI, IPL and ICC respond to Harbhajan's latest action will say much about how they view it. Personally, I'd stick Harbhajan in a boxing ring with Sreesanth, Hayden and Andrew Symonds and let them sort out their grievances that way. I'm not sure that for all his big talk Harbhajan would last more than a couple of rounds.

Comments

[Peter McGuinness]

The legendary (I'm a 'keeping tragic) Mr Engineer has only imposed the IPL's ban as at this writing.

It remains to be seen what the BCCI will do. Hilarious (and instructive) that no one has mentioned the ICC as being at all relevant to the incident.

The question is: Who is the bigger knob? Poor little though guy Barji for girly slapping someone, or Sreenath for bursting into tears. Maybe the youngster should have rolled around on the ground pretending to be shot and checking his scalp for blood like one is supposed to do in soccer - just to complete the hi-camp melodrama?

Such is the future of cricket.

Cue Benny Hill music...

[Oscar the Grouch]

Rusty - the BCCI has yet to make its determination, although methinks they would be hard put to fail to follow-up on the IPL action, but it's a start at least to demolishing the idea that there is nothing but racisist intent plus some sort of pervading colonialist streak behind Harbhajan's string of found offences. I'm hoping that other boards of control will take notice and ensure scrupulous treatment of genuine incidents involving their players to once and for all bury the concept that 'nationalism' overrides fairness in such decisions.

I can see one good thing also out of all this - Sreesanth has totally demolished any chance of his on-field antics being taken seriously - it will take but one batsman, faced with a Sreesanth glowering stare in the face, to utter 'Boo' in a loud voice to have an entire stadium reduced to howling laughter.

Oh, and Peter Mac - I'm surprised that an old naval historian such as youself didn't correct me on my petard reference - it should have been 'with', not 'on', of course, (sloppy late night work on my part). Still, the image of the BCCI having sat on the small bomb of Harbhajan ignoring the sputtering fuse was too good to resist. Mea culpa.

[Rusty]

Pablo,

I think Indian cricket thinks it's playing in a Bollywood movie. It reminds me of American marines joining up because they wanted to play out their John Wayne fantasies. And then acting them out on the enemy.

[Pablo]

This is all absolutely hilarious. Now, we just need poor emotional Sreesanth coming out (in tears again, of course) and asking for the ban on his elder brother to be reduced. Isn't this the right stuff for a movie or what? I think a title like "Passion of Brothers" would capture the spirit of the situation, giving it the scent of Venezuelan telenovela it deserves.

[Rusty]

Oscar the G,

seems I'm wrong anyway, since the Bicci has now gone the other direction ie. over the top, and banned the Bharge for 11 matches.

All for a little backhand for which there is no video evidence! Not that I care about the obnoxious weed, but methinks the lady Sree and the Bicci doth protesteth too much.

[Oscar the Grouch]

Gawd, this blog is turning into the Usual Suspects, but I can't help myself..

Rusty - I hope you're wrong, because I'd very, very much like to see the next series between Oz and the Indians start out with the slate wiped clean, as it were, so we could have cricket and not the bastard child of Days of Our Lives and Resevoir Dogs played out over 22 yards. I'd like to think that the BCCI would approach any further on-field incident with more introspection, having been bitten by the dog it fed so lavishly, and for that matter, see CA stand up for the rights (when they ARE rights, I stress) of its players instead of ducking behind the almighty dollar. Heck, one can dream, right?

Peter, unfair to castigate Hayden for his natural shy reticence and boyish charm. He was no doubt brought up correctly to not say anything about anybody if you can't say something nice and his comment on Harbhajan was about as nice a thing as one could say about him.

And lest I forget - Andre - what about you? You pass off a few home truths in an English county match and they're all over you - it's not as if you slapped someone, right? How cruel for a brat and a bully to take the attention off your searing pace and pin-point accuracy.

[Rusty]

I think the BCCI will try to save face and let the petulant snot off. They'll say it was all nothing but a misunderstanding and everything's fine; that their boys are just more sensitive and highly-strung than the thuggish types in other countries (read Aussies, and probably South Africans, too) and the Indians are perfect gentlemen who always spotlessly uphold the Spirit of Cricket (in a form only they really comprehend, of course).

It's all just a "cultural misunderstanding" on the part of everyone else.

[Peter McGuinness]

Turns out Hayden should have been suspended after all.

For the offense of bringing the game into disrepute through gross understatement.

I - for one - absolutely cannot wait to see how Indian authorities handle this one.

After all, there were Australians present at the ground. No doubt, they were plotting with their usual Machiavellian cunning and innate evilness to manipulate poor, angelic little Barji into an unseemly situation yet again.

How many versions of the glass onion story will be revealed this time? Perhaps there was an RAAF-trained mosquito perched upon the cheek of young Sreesanth?

At the very least, poor little Barji should be disciplined for the crime of 'slapping'. Surely anything less that a right cross is a little soft for 'the fiercest man in international cricket'?

Stay tuned folks, this should be a ripper...

[Oscar the Grouch]

Patrick, well said. I think there is a fundamental difference though, between Sreesanth - who I enjoy watching bowl very much, and Harnhajan.

Sreesanth is obviously a bit of a kid, really, being noisy and obnoxious to attract attention to himself, and generally tends to be given a bit of latitude on the 'ignore it and it will go away' philosophy. I suggest that's why he isn't taken seriously by for instance the Aussies (until he starts pushing right up to their face, when almost anybody will have a bit of a snarl), while Harbhajan is a serial mean bastard in the real sense of that word as we of generally Anglo-Saxon descent use it (and let us not get into the relative distinction of monkey vs. bastard again, please, I am using that term strictly from within the Anglo-Saxon cultural background).

There is an interesting image on the Cricket-Action-Art blog of Harbhajan being restrained from taking a swing with closed fist against another Indian player - I have forgotten who - from not many months ago. He's palpably not just 'a proud Sikh Warrior (and father of nine)' as his self-appointed protagonist Peter Roebuck so staunchly defended him over the 'Sydney Incident' - he's a bloody nutter with a deep, mean streak. There's no racial or nationalistic sentiment in that comment whatsoever - nutters come in every colour and spring from every country on this planet.

It's going to be very interesting to watch how the BCCI handles this one - having been so immoderate in their defence of him recently, they are hoist on their own petard. They need to show that the IPL is staunchly 'in the spirit of cricket' yet they have to resile the fact that here is a man they have previously held up as cruelly wronged and guilty of no more than reacting to intolerable provocation. Probably a good thing they have a politician as their Chairman (I believe), for it will take a politician's epidermal armoury to bring the two off - a mere Rhinocerous would not stand a chance.