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Vote for July's Pillock of the Month

Last day of the month so time for our regular pillock poll. Peter Chingoka was last month's pillock, joining Vijay Mallya, Harbhajan Singh, Stephen Harmison, Jesse Ryder and Andrew Symonds in the hall of shame for 2008. Who deserves a giant raspberry this month?

Mohammad Asif, fresh from 19 days in the clink in Dubai amid allegations that he had drugs in his luggage, has now been revealed to have failed a drugs test during the Indian Premier League. He is appealing and has asked for his B sample to be tested, but you do have to wonder why such stories follow Asif, who was banned and then reprieved after failing a dope test in 2006.

David Hemp, the Glamorgan captain, who forgot to call during the toss before their Twenty20 quarter-final with Durham. Dale Benkenstein, the Durham captain, tossed; the coin went up; it came down; hit the ground and flipped over revealing the Queen's portrait. Hemp just stared at it. "Call it then," said Benkenstein. "Oh, heads" was Hemp's response. And whaddya know? He won.

The England selectors for picking Darren Pattinson, dropping Stuart Broad, playing footsy with Steve Harmison and recalling Paul Collingwood.

The ICC board for agreeing to change the result of the 2006 Oval Test between England and Pakistan so that Inzamam-ul-Haq's side didn't forfeit the match for refusing to play. Shame on the ECB for agreeing to this just to get Pakistan's backing over Zimbabwe, too.

Michael Vaughan for scoring only 23 runs in four Test innings and having the audacity to divert criticism of him by Jonathan Agnew on to Aggers' own Test record 20 years ago. Also took The Sun's cricket correspondent to task because he didn't like - and didn't get - a headline in the paper. Smacks of a man under pressure.

Yorkshire for blowing the chance of reaching the Twenty20 Cup finals day by selecting a player who they hadn't registered as English-qualified, even though the ECB had raised the query with them before. It was a bit extreme to chuck them out of the competition, but Yorkshire had clearly boobed.

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England come back to life

Rusty was right (see comment on this post). It was too early to run doom and gloom stories after only one day of the Edgbaston Test. England are right back in it thanks to a brilliantly aggressive spell of bowling by Andrew Flintoff, who has taken four wickets in an innings for the first time since the Brisbane Test in 2006.

It was probably the best period of sustained aggression that we have seen from an England bowler since Steve Harmison took six for 19 against Pakistan earlier that year. Coupled with his useful batting yesterday, there are strong signs that if the Old Fred has not quite returned, he is getting there.

But if the British can occasionally wallow in depression before it is due, let's not follow the other British vice of premature triumphalism. The job is only a third done. At the crease are Ashwell Prince, with two hundreds already this series, and Mark Boucher, who is famously hard to shift. South Africa's lead is presently 25; if England are to win this match they need to keep that lead to below three figures. Then they need to make 300 or so in their second innings before trying to bowl out the touring side again. It is a start and there will deservedly be headlines trumpeting Flintoff tomorrow, but it is not over.

One other positive worth mentioning: James Anderson's athletic caught and bowled of Hashim Amla. After the two wonderful catches Anderson claimed in the first Test at Lord's, he can be justly regarded as one of the best fielders in the world right now. England need men like that: good fielding will lift the spirits, just as surely as poor fielding will cause tension (see the spat between Ryan Sidebottom and Monty Panesar last night).

There. I can say nice things about England. To judge by some comments on this blog, the media should get behind the national team and talk them up even when things are going badly. Criticism, some say, only adds to the pressure that cricketers feel. Be less cruel and they will play better - just look at the way the Australia media heroise their players. To which I'd suggest the response should be: play better and we will be less cruel - just look at Australia.

I'd say that England cricketers are paid well enough to take criticism. It doesn't mean that we are suggesting they played badly on purpose. I imagine it hurts like hell to get out to a stupid shot - and we all want to avoid blame when we cock up (journalists especially) - but when you are representing your country and are supposed to be at the peak of your profession, high standards are expected.

And when you are England captain and say something stupid and spiteful to a journalist who dares to ask why you are struggling for runs, then you deserve to be mocked, especially when you fall first ball in your next innings. It's called hubris. We English are normally quite good at poking fun at those with inflated opinions of themselves.

But I shall always try to be fair. If England play badly, they will get criticised. If they select the wrong players, they shall get criticised. And if they play well, they shall get all the praise that is owing. But as someone who loves to watch good cricket - and who would not want England to win by playing badly - I will applaud whoever does most to impress me. At the moment, despite the excellent post-tea session today, that is still South Africa. Go out and prove me wrong, England.

Video: Ajantha Mendis in action

Mike Atherton wrote this excellent piece this morning about Sri Lanka's new wunderkind, Ajantha Mendis, who he claims is the world's new Mystery Spinner.

Have a look at him in this video below and see if you can pick him...

England 231 all out

I think the most frustrating thing about England's innings yesterday was that everyone was out in the way you would expect, the way they have been doing all year. Strauss was a bit unlucky, Bell and Cook looked good in patches but failed to build a big score, Vaughan got a good ball (and some bad luck), Pietersen was cocky and Collingwood looked awful from the first ball, scratching around before finally being put out of his misery.

Let's take some positives, though: Andrew Flintoff is looking like a decent batsman again (as he did in one innings at Headingley). The problem is that the tail were so desperate to let him have the strike (or he was so desperate to get it, it was hard to tell who was calling) that we had two successive run outs to end the innings. I thought James Anderson had been batting well this summer, why the urgency to get him off strike? Likewise, if they really didn't want Panesar to face the first ball of an over, here is an option to taking a risky two off the last ball of the previous over: don't even run a single.

There is a severe case of brainlessness in this side at the moment and at the end of the day, as they trudged off the field, you could see on their faces the despondency, already beaten at the end of the first day of a Test when they won the toss. It's a great shame. Oh well, today is another day.

Ashes Heroes No 50: Gary Pratt

Today marks the start of a Line & Length series. With just under a year to go until the start of the 2009 Ashes series, we will be posting a weekly feature every Wednesday on the 50 cricketers who have done most to shape the Ashes.

It will be a personal view, based somewhat on statistics but also shaped by instinct. The identity of those near the top of the list won't surprise many (it's Peter Such and Colin Miller at 1 and 2) but hopefully the journey will be interesting and incite some discussion. As ever, click comments at the bottom of the post to let me know what you think about each week's choice.

I have also asked 50 cricketers, administrators, bloggers and fans to draw up their own Top Tens, which will help to shape my overall list. Each week we will run one of these guest lists, beginning today with David Capel, the former England all-rounder and now head coach of Northants, which you can read here.

Right, let's get started with No 50: Gary Pratt.

Don't blame me, blame the deputy sports editor. When I mentioned that I was starting this list, he said: "Pick that Durham bloke."

"Who, Steve Harmison?" I asked.

"No, the other one."

"Paul Collingwood?"

"No, not him."

"Foxy Fowler? Beefy Botham?"

"No, that one who got up Ponting's nose when he was run out."

Ah, yes. Pratt. The man with the silly name, although no doubt Australians have worse names for him. The man who turned the 2005 Ashes series despite not playing a first-class match all summer. The man, in fact, who led to a change in cricket's rules, banning substitute fielders for "comfort breaks".

Gary Pratt was a 23-year-old run-of-the-mill county batsman when he was asked to be England's substitute fielder in the fourth Test of the 2005 Ashes series. He had played for England under-19, under the captaincy of Ian Bell, and had won a Denis Compton Award in 1999 for the best young cricketers, but had struggled to make an impact in top-flight cricket. The highlight of his senior career before the Trent Bridge Test was 150 for Durham against Northants in 2003, his only first-class century. He was only fielding for England because Durham didn't need him for their championship match against Yorkshire.

The context for his 15 minutes of fame: the Ashes series is level at 1-1 but England arguably feel more frustrated after Ricky Ponting's wonderfully defiant hundred had prevented them winning at Old Trafford. A win at Trent Bridge is a must and England build a large first innings of 477. Australia are 22 for two when Pratt makes his first appearance, on as a replacement for Bell, and doesn't give any inkling of his future impact: he misfields the ball in the covers, allowing Damien Martyn to run a single.

It is on the next day that Pratt makes his mark. Australia are bowled out for 218 and are asked to follow on. They have reached 155 for two (still 104 behind) with an hour left in the day when Martyn plays the ball into the covers again, calls for a run, Pratt swoops and hits the stumps at the keeper's end direct, running Ponting out for 48.

What followed was a demonstration of the fact that it is not just Poms who whinge. Australia hated it, Ponting in particular. As he stomped back to the dressing room, the Australia captain launched a volley of abuse at the England balcony and continued later, saying that England's use of substitute fielders so that their bowlers could have a rest was "a disgrace". It showed the pressure he was under.

England went on to win the match and took the series after the draw at the Oval. In a nice touch, and perhaps to wind up the Aussies, Pratt was invited to join England's open-top bus tour round London. A year later, his contract with Durham was ended. Ironically one of the reasons he was ditched by Durham was because of the rise of Ben Harmison, brother of Pratt's one-time England team-mate.

When last heard of, Pratt was playing non-league football for Crook Town and minor counties cricket for Cumberland. In his most recent innings, nine days ago against Norfolk, he made five. He was run out by a substitute fielder. Ah, the irony.

David Capel's Ashes Top Ten

As part of our 50-part weekly series on Ashes heroes, we will be inviting a player, journalist or general cricket nut to share his Top Ten Ashes cricketers each week.

This week's guest writer is David Capel, the Northants head coach who played 15 Tests as an all-rounder for England in the 1980s. His best score was 98 against Pakistan in 1987 and he played two Tests against Australia, taking three wickets in Sydney in 1988 and two at the Oval a year later. This is his choice:

D. Bradman The best batsman of all time. Probably contributed more to Ashes Test cricket than any other player

S. Warne Greatest leg spinner of all time. Great competitor would get into any team.

H. Larwood Legendary fast bowler of the bodyline series. Set the standard for the rest to follow.

D. Lillee Superb champion fast bowler whose spirit epitomised the battle of the Ashes.

I. Botham Great all-rounder with many heroic deeds to his name.

A. Border Built a squad of players that began the dominance from 1989.

W. Hammond England’s master batsman that had to counter Bradman's run-scoring feats

S. Waugh Great batsman and one of the most successful Ashes captains.

D. Gower One of Englands finest, perhaps the most elegant stroke player of all time.

D. Boon Consistent gutsy performer, courageous against pace bowling and excellent short leg

Vaughan turns on Aggers

Is the England captain feeling the pressure a bit before the third Test? On Radio 4's Today programme just now, Michael Vaughan was needlesly rude to Jonathan Agnew, the BBC's cricket correspondent, when it was pointed out to him that he has only scored 23 runs so far in three innings this series.

"Well I got three good balls and Test cricket can be tough," Vaughan said, which is fair enough, but then added: "Anyway, you didn't bowl in any Test matches because you weren't good enough." The implication was clear: don't criticise me if you haven't been there yourself, unfortunately as well as rude it was incorrect.

"Look in Wisden," Agnew said, referring to his three Tests in 1984-85, yet still Vaughan carried on: "Well you weren't any good anyway."

It may just have been banter - after all Geoff Boycott is for ever joking about Agnew's lack of bowling ability - but there is a big difference between a former player turned commentator taking that attitude and the present England captain. I wonder how long before Vaughan tells our own correspondent: "Show me yer Ashes medals, Athers."

Perhaps Vaughan should look to his own failings. As Agnew then pointed out once Vaughan was off air, he may have got three good balls but he didn't play them particularly well.

UPDATE: Hah! That'll teach him. Vaughan out first ball today, given caught behind off Andre Nel (nice one Andre) even though he didn't touch it.

Broad out, Collingwood in

Only England would drop their leading run-scorer from their latest Test, replace him with a man whose highest score in his past five Tests is 30 and herald it as "strengthening the batting". But Stuart Broad, who scored 84 runs in two innings at Headingley - four times the amount that Michael Vaughan did - is dropped for the third Test because of his weak bowling.

Of course another part of it is that Tim Ambrose and Andrew Flintoff are both not felt to be up to batting at No 6, whereas Paul Collingwood has at least got experience there. Quite what Ravi Bopara, whose past three innings for Essex have been 103*, 29 (in a T20) and 112*, makes of it is unknown.

I wondered whether I would have to go back to Geoff Boycott in the 1970s to find the last England player to be dropped the match after top-scoring, but it was actually only ten years ago. John Crawley made 156 in the final Test of the summer in 1998 against Sri Lanka and was taken on the winter Ashes tour but England preferred Graham Thorpe and Nasser Hussain, who had missed that match at the Oval, and Mark Ramprakash for the opening Test in Brisbane.

Were the selectors right to recall Steve Harmison?

Following their "confused" decision to pick the almost unknown Darren Pattinson at Headingley, the England selectors appear to jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire after they recalled Steve Harmison for the third npower Test at Edgbaston.

Mike Atherton, The Times' Chief Cricket Correspondent, has led the criticism by saying the "selection is as uninspiring as his recent record in international cricket and his attitude and, surely, it is a return that sends a terrible message."

While Patrick Kidd, of this very parish, has accused the selectors of lacking consistency. But what do you think? Were the selectors right to have recalled Harmison or have they lost the plot?

Don't forget to leave your comments below and tell us who you think should be included instead?

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The Line & Length Monday XI - answers

As predictable as an England selection meeting, with slightly more basis in fact and statistical analysis, it's our weekly cricket quiz. For the answers click the link at the bottom.

Question 1 Andre Nel, a favourite of this blog, is set to be recalled by South Africa for the third Test against England this week, replacing the injured Dale Steyn. How many wickets did Nel take in his previous Test, against West Indies in January, before being dropped? A: None; B: Two; C: Four

Question 2 Who is the leading run-scorer so far in this Test series? A: Ashwell Prince; B: Ian Bell; C: AB De Villiers.

Question 3 Who has hit the most sixes so far in this Test series? A: Ashwell Prince; B: Ian Bell; C: Kevin Pietersen

Question 4 How many runs have Michael Vaughan and Jacques Kallis scored between them so far this series? A: 42; B: 47; C; 51

Question 5 Since being dropped before the Headingley Test for poor batting, how many runs has Paul Collingwood scored in four one-day innings to merit a recall for the third Test? A: 59; B: 123; C: 172

Question 6 When did England last beat South Africa in a Test at Edgbaston? A: 1924; B: 1960; C: 1998

Question 7 Sri Lanka's spinners, Muttiah Muralitharan and Ajantha Mendis, took 19 wickets between them as India lost the first Test by an innings last week. Who took the other wicket? A: Nuwan Kulasekara; B: Chaminda Vaas; C: It was a run out.

Question 8 India lost by an innings and 239 runs, their third heaviest defeat. Who inflicted their biggest defeat on them, in 1959? A: Australia; B: England; C: West Indies

Question 9 Congratulations to Middlesex on winning the Twenty20 Cup. When did they last lift some silverware? A: 1990; B: 1993; C: 1995

Question 10 Who finished this year's Twenty20 Cup as the leading wicket-taker? A: Tyron Henderson; B: Danish Kaneria; C: Yasir Arafat

Question 11 And which batsman had the highest average in the tournament? A: Dawid Malan; B: Graham Napier; C: Owais Shah