Frustration is England's secret weapon

Go and stake a substantial amount of money on England to win the one-day series against South Africa, which starts at Headingley on Friday, especially if there is rain over the next few days.

Why? Because of a cunning plan hatched by Clare Skinner, the media manager at Lord's, to bring about a spate of wrist injuries and bruised palms among the South Africa fast bowlers. "I bought a copy of Frustration to give to the South Africa team," she tells me, referring to the Ludo-type board game with the large plastic popper that you smack to spin the dice. It is already popular in the Essex dressing-room, where the players liked it so much that the coach had to take the board away from them, and Clare is hoping that it can be England's secret weapon.

"Andre Nel tells me that he has already won £20 off his team-mates," Clare says, "and I'm hoping that it becomes so addictive that the South Africa bowlers do themselves an injury pressing the popper."

That said, never underestimate the ability of England players to tweak something in a farcical manner. Remember Derek Pringle putting his back out while stuffing an envelope, Nasser Hussain spraining his wrist playing tennis and Chris Lewis getting sunstroke from playing cricket without a hat? Last thing we want to hear is that Ian Bell has broken a wrist playing frisbee. Or that Kevin Pietersen slammed a domino down so hard on Jimmy Anderson's fingers that the bowler is out for the rest of the year. Or even that Owais Shah got a nasty paper cut playing Happy Families with Ryan Sidebottom. Be careful, boys. Stick to less dangerous games, like charades.

Comments

[Online Coach]

The players liked it so much that the coach had to take the board away from them.

[Johnmc]

Very restrained in passing no comment on how Frustration is the perfect game for Andre Nel - he does seem to be in a permanent state of it. Hope it doesn't stop him commententing on here