A postcard from Australia

Peter McGuinness, Gold Coast surf bum and co-writer of the surprise hit of 2009, has sent in this essay on what lessons have been learnt for the Ashes from the Australia v South Africa series. Of course, he wrote this before everything went even more haywire in England... Feel free to praise and abuse him.

SA 2, AUS 1 – Poms? The absorbing series between Australia and South Africa has finished with the visitors securing a thoroughly deserved series victory. For those of you relying on the (at times) confounding reporting of these three Tests in the Pommy press, here is some insight from someone who actually watched every ball.

What can Poms conclude from this series ahead of The Ashes? Let's get something straight. These were three very closely run matches. As comforting as the thought may be, SA did not smash the Aussies and – no – Australian cricket is not dead and buried. Poms desperately hoping that 5-0 this year is a formality against the Old Enemy will be bitterly disappointed. Australia was in a dominant position at the beginning of Day Three in each Test. That Perth and Melbourne were won by South Africa is an enormous testament to their character, depth and self-belief. It's also an indictment of CA for allowing its selectors to perpetuate their colossal stupidity and outright arrogance commenced in India.

Having watched India and South Africa play Australia in recent months, it's clear that both teams have superior team balance to Australia and are vastly better equipped to secure 20 wickets in a match. Having beaten the Aussies at home, and recovered twice from seemingly hopeless match positions, I'd rate SA as being marginally ahead of India. But England is not the team that either South Africa or India is.

Also, despite some fevered reporting, the Aussies have been scoring more than enough first-innings runs to win Test matches – even against the extreme high quality of the South African and Indian bowlers. The top five have not all been firing simultaneously, but matters are far from troubling, let alone serious.

However, Poms may take great encouragement from one major factor. The Aussie selectors have completely lost their marbles. Since mid-2008, they have been quixotically determined to redefine the fundamentals of winning Test cricket. Specifically, they have seriously expected 20 wickets in each match from two or three Test quality wicket-taking bowlers, against the world's best two batting line-ups. While Lee and Clark have been injured and the heroic Johnson has been almost bowled to death, the cast of other miscellaneous odd-bods has at times been truly bizarre.

Perhaps the scenario is best summed up by Hauritz and McDonald playing in Sydney, while Hilfenhaus, Bracken, Tait, Magoffin, Noffke etc etc etc continue to dominate the Shield. Bollinger was long overdue his chance. Siddle has bowled a couple of big-hearted, aggressive bursts amongst the general inability to control length and consistency against the top order. He is on the improve, but the experiment has been costly. The establishment are in love with Siddle, so you Poms will get a good look at him later in the year and he will have the chance to continue to repay his Indian, Perth and Melbourne debts.

Hauritz has taken fewer than 81 first-class wickets in 42 matches. McDonald is not on the radar either, being a Limited Overs "container" at medium pace, with 94 wickets from 44 first class matches (a 38 average with the bat over the same period hardly makes him an automatic selection). Selectors are telling the world that these players are leading Ashes candidates.

When Australia were getting thrashed by all and sundry in the 80s, there was still little doubt that at least the best available players were usually picked. Painful indeed to endure a downturn in performance now, when a lengthy list of proven wicket-takers are tooling around playing domestic T20 nonsense. Of course, Australia cannot be the same without Warne and McGrath. However, only Hilditch and Co would seriously contend that the country's best available attack has played since mid-2008.

One may only conclude that the Australia selectors believe Tests may somehow be won by the prevention of scoring rather than by the taking of wickets. The past six months have proven that Australia's "Brains Trust" believe that ODI and T20 methodology may be adapted to the attacking realities of Test matches. Unless they change their philosophies or CA moves to replace them, England will be facing two, but no more than three top-line Aussie bowlers, as India and SA have. Will they be good enough to capitalise?

Comments

[Rusty]

Good old Humph - And there i was thinking you'd gone into permanent hibernation with Nellie.

As to the book, I hope you mean it's more LIKE Melville than Dostoevsky. Hopefully a ripping yarn, not a vodka drip-fed dirge.

[Humphrey B Bear]

Gday Rust...

How was the camping trip? I ventured down that way years ago with me old mate Blinky Bill on an end of season trip. I was too much of a young cub to enjoy the scenery. Too much scotch & honey for me, and as for Blinky...well he was a disgrace, even for a koala. Me and Mrs Bear want to give the hibernating a swerve next winter and get down there in the Winne-bear-go. How times change.

Listen Rust - I've read Patty and Mac's first draft. They needed a bit of guidance here and there, but overall, I'd rate it as better than Melville, but just short of Dostoevsky. I'd buy it. Would've been nice to be acknowledged for the proof reading though...

[Peter McGuinness]

Superb points Manafu, very well made indeed.

The recent series between Aus and SA was played at a sublime level and in wonderful spirit. I agree (somewhat reluctantly!) that the recent surge by India and SA has been wonderful for the game.

The major frustration for Aussies is basically not that there's a shortage of bowling talent, but that we have to put up with the ludicrous sight of Bracken, Tait and Hilfenhaus rifling through the SA top order in a T20, while vastly inferior players are honoured with Test duties.

Oh well, as the ECB has proven for years, administration is equally as responsible for results as matters on field. Good for SA and India for getting their acts beautifully honed on both sides of the boundary fence.

[Manafu from Port Villa]

I must say, I am thoroughly enjoying this carnage that is slowly but surely crippling both boards. Years of watching the aussies, in particular, thrashing the hearts out of other nations caused so much hurt and disappointment on myself, and the hope of an equal competitive footing seemed like a distant fantasy.

However, finally, we can say cricket is reborn as evident from the recent defeats inflicted by India and Sth Africa. It's great for the game and the highest accolade for India and Sth Africa to raise their game plans and invest in a pool of talent. Yes, I am biased because it is a pleasing sight watching the Aussies lose (no disrespect to their legends) and most of all, watching Ponting and the selectors muddle for hope (with stupidity) that this carnage must end soon. They missed the train by a mile and made the mistake of resting on their laurels when they must have known this winning formula must have its expiry date soon when the likes of McGrath, Warne, Langer, Gilchrist announced their retirements. Australia must now face the fact that this may take a few years to repair with the current ‘muppet’ of selectors and the coach (hopefully, not!).

The Aussies are a nation that hate losing and do take any loss too harshly as evident from this article. Fortunately, you don’t see heads roll on a regular basis like the Sri Lankan, Indian or the Pakistani Cricket Boards. However, on a positive note, the thought of axing a few selectors is not a distant option if things don’t change soon. No doubt, it's a sad sight for their fans but I had to endure a similar pain watching my favourite teams being slayed repeatedly and mercilessly for years. Finally, the wait is over and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face just like Graham Smith did when he won the 2nd test in Melbourne and sealed the series.

[Patrick Kidd]

Hi Rusty
The Best of Enemies is not published until May 14. You'll hear a lot more about it before then. Will clearly just wants to butter me up for a free copy. Readers can pre-order it here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1848187033?ie=UTF8&tag=thecorridorof-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=1848187033

It may even be worth the money.

[Rusty]

Patrick and Peter McG

I'm searching L&L, in vain, for some mention of your recently released book. Supercilious Will over at the Corridor announced it on his blog - why so coy? Or did I miss something?

I know you're naturally modest, Patrick, unlike the rest of your compatriots, but Peter McG isn't usually so backward about being forward. What about a review or an excerpt?

[Peter McGuinness]

Hilarious times down here, hey Rusty?

If it weren't for the ECB's infuriating determination to always 'go one better' in the Python stakes, CA's current circus act would be getting a lot more coverage in the Old Dart.

Turns out that Hilditch doesn't get himself along to too many games. At least that's an excuse for some of the other-worldly selections of the last six months! Mind you, 'attendance of matches' may be a wise criterion for CA to include when they next draw up a job specification for the their Chairman of Selectors.

By many measures (including verbatim feedback by top domestic batsmen like Langer) Australia's best ten bowlers (in order) are Clark, Johnson, Bracken, Lee, Hilfenhaus, Bollinger, Tait, Magoffin, Hazelwood and Nannes. Apologies to Noffke who is injured longish term. Siddle would be next after this group. There is not a single spinner better equipped to take wickets than any player in this list. In fact, existing Test players Katich, Clarke and Symonds are perfectly capable of executing on the necessity for spin, rather tha playing a sub-standard palyer simply because they are a slow bowler.

In looking at this list, it's astonishing that after the injuries to Clark and Lee, selectors chose defensive containment players - unproven at even domestic level - for the Tests and then chose the proven attacking options of Bracken, Hilfenhaus and Tait for the hit and giggle squads.

Players, the media and supporters are entitled to be bamboozeled by this 180 degree, counter-intuitive lunacy! Thank God the Poms have imploded into an orgy of catastrophic self-interest right on cue! It's all quite funny. The Ashes may be won by the country that is the 'least self-defeating'.

[Rusty]

Certainly these were three very closely contested matches, with some of the most unpredictable swings in fortune seen outside of Adelaide 2006, though I heard, rather than saw, much of the action via the radio while camped on the banks of the Murray River at Towong on the NSW/Vic border.

In fact, I'd have to say it was the best series since the 2005 Ashes, despite the Aussie selectors determination to shoot themselves in their collective foot. Certainly it was played in the best spirit of gentlemanly behaviour and good will, and showed that the shorter forms of the game just can't compete with tests for sheer class, no matter how much bolly you throw at them.

If Australia can somehow stumble their way past some uninspired selections, like the totally pedestrian Hauritz, (who wouldn't unsettle a half-crocked village green team in Nutley, let alone a wounded, brooding KP), and if that nice Andrew Strauss can rally the troops and inject some revengeful fire into the England team, we may have game on in 5 months and 29 days time.

And no doubt, Peter McG, you will be delighted to hear that Andrew Hilditch has "invited" players to put their case to the selectors for South African test selection over the next few weeks. And Bracken already has jumped at the chance, verbally, at least.

[Brian Carpenter]

I doubt if any England follower with any sanity or knowledge of the game is expecting England to win 5-0. I'm expecting a very close series which either side could win, with much now depending on how England do in the Windies and how Australia do in SA.

Personally I think Siddle's done okay, although I'm not sure he'll be great on slower pitches. Hauritz seems to have been chosen simply because he wouldn't leak as many runs as Krejza. But then he doesn't take any wickets either, although the fact that either are playing Test cricket with the type of first-class records they have is an indictment of where Australian spin bowling now stands.

[Johnmc]

Interesting point about the closeness of the competition down under, with the Aussies in charge after day three. Not putting England in the same class as SA or India at the moment, it is worth pointing out that in six Tests against these sides recently England have been in the dominant position going into the final day at Lord's (a draw) and arguably Edgbaston (a defeat), as well as winning at the Oval, and in the first Test in India. Perhaps the two sides share a common bond of being unable to finish teams off. I wouldn't want to predict now the make-up of the 8-10 bowlers who will line-up in Cardiff for the first Ashes Test