Pom v Aussie, part 5

Patrick Kidd, the Times's increasingly gloomy cricket blogger, and Scott Heinrich, the Fox Sports Australia man with the big smug grin, conclude their Cardiff exchange of emails.

From Patrick Kidd
To Scott Heinrich

What happened to the rain? We were promised rain for most of the day, yet it did not arrive until tea time by which stage the game had turned even further in Australia's favour. Even the weather is against us. As a proud Essex supporter, I was dismayed that Cook and Bopara both made an early exit before the downpour started. Neither has covered himself in glory this Test and I'm left looking foolish in front of my Aussie friends to whom I'd been talking Ravi up.

I'm told that the weather forecast for today is better (sadly, that doesn't mean better for England) and we could see 98 overs. You'd assume that England will have to bat for at least 80 of them to save the game. Do we have men with that sort of patience? The pitch doesn't really seem to have any demons and Australia ought to need to earn their wickets. Can KP rein in his inner moron? Time for a captain's innings from Strauss? It will be a fascinating final day but this is not the start we wanted. Five centurions to Australia's one, but they are in the bowlers' analyses. If we are to go on to Lord's 0-0, we will have to knock a dent in Australia's 4-0 lead for batsmen making hundreds.

From Scott Heinrich
To Patrick Kidd

What happened to the rain? It came, my good man, and washed out the entire evening session. Who knows, this Test might already be done and dusted had the showers stayed away. The Aussies will just be hoping for a decent crack at England today, and that means minimal interruptions for rain. The pitch is still playing pretty well, I reckon, so it won't be easy, but I'll be surprised (and not the least bit mortified) if Australia don't go one up in Cardiff. England have no incentive to score runs, and I hope they don't try. Their fate will be sealed if they try to block out the day. Their only hope is to be positive (within reason) and keep the scoreboard ticking over. I can see Johnson picking up a couple more, but the key is Hauritz. If he can't spin Australia to victory over a demoralised opponent on day five of a Test match, then he has no retort to the negative press that accompanied him to England.

From Patrick Kidd
To Scott Heinrich

The trouble with Australia going 1-0 up in Cardiff is that it is on to Lord's next, where England have won once against Australia in the past 113 years - and that was back in the days when George V was on the throne - and that could become 2-0 and then the series will effectively be over. Sorry, the pessimism has kicked in early. For the sake of the series, we need to get a draw at Cardiff. Won't you think of the series, Scott? And if not the series, just think of the sad look in Andrew Strauss's children's eyes when daddy comes home tonight 1-0 down. Let's do it for them.

Of course, this fate is in Strauss's hands - and Billy Doctrove's finger, the twitchy bugger. Strauss has been in good form this year, making several hundreds over the winter and outscoring Phillip Hughes on the one occasion they played together for Middlesex this year. He has the cojones to stick at the crease all day and build the match-saving innings, but will anyone stay with him? Then again, I was praising Swann's form to the heights before this game and look what happened to him. One final thing: what changes do you see being made for Lord's? Hard not to see Onions coming in for Panesar and possibly Harmison, who took a five-for this week, for Broad. Can you see Australia shuffling their pack a bit? Please!

From Scott Heinrich
To Patrick Kidd

Sorry, mate, I don't do utilitarianism or altruism. I only do winningism. Plus, I got on the Aussies at 5/2 after day three, so I'm hoping they twist the knife as early as possible today. They deserve to win this match, as much as England don't deserve to escape with a draw. I know England have a wretched Ashes record at Lord's, so I can only thank the ECB for scheduling the second Test there. After two matches, the series could be as good as over. But do I need to point out that England lost the first Test in, ahem, 05 before going on to win the damn thing?

Australia have played well in this Test, so it would be hard to change the line-up. Hussey is definitely on borrowed time, and Hauritz today will either book his spot for the rest of the series or make himself a candidate for the axe at Lord's.
 
I'm very hopeful Australia will do it today, but it's not a fait accompli. England can dig in on that deck if they apply themselves to the task at hand, so Australia's attack will need to be disciplined and determined. I'm not counting my winnings yet, but if we get up I'll raise a glass of Shiraz to English over-confidence, shout the wife to McDonalds and buy Charlotte Church's latest album. Sorry, download it. We convicts are so behind the times

Comments

[Pablo]

Only the rain can save England today. A bit of sense from KP would help (hopefully he will stop repeating his motto "this is the way I play" some time soon), but if in the end it is a draw we will have to thank the rain.
I share Patrick's pessimisitic mood. To be honest, all through this last year, England has showed an irritating lack of blood (some would say commitment). With this in mind and if it is 1-0 and off to Lords, it would be rather surprising to see that England is able to fight its way back into contention.
Winningism. I like the word, regardless of how bad it sounds. England should consider bringing it into the dictionary, just for the sake of cricket.

[Pablo]

I should learn to shut up. Out in ten minutes. If he says anything about the way he plays, please somebody hit him with a bat.

[Oscar the Grouch]

No, Patrick, KP hasn't reigned in his inner moron. But what style, what pure class...

[Mr A Nel]

How are you Oscar?

You are the only person I can tolerate on this entire blog.

Apart from Aunt Helga.

Take care.