Let's Hope Harry Does It Better

This blog has asked a lot of questions about the sort of officers the army produces recently, so as another lot came off the production line this week it was interesting to see the near universal applause. The British Army has produced some outstanding officers over the years and you don’t have to go back to Slim, as one of my correspondents did, to see them, but while I am sure there were a number of outstanding prospects at this week’s Sovereign’s Parade, and that young Cornet Wales was among them, it would not be a bad thing for them to log on to the Army Rumour Service web forum ARRSE and note the anger over the way that some soldiers have been treated by their officers in recent years. Anyone questioning the existence of such treatment need look no further than some of my previous posts, particularly It's Time to Get it Sorted and It Should Never Have Come To This.

Prince Harry’s presence has led to an uncharacteristic outbreak of generous applause on ARRSE, many comments apparently coming from those who have themselves been through Sandhurst and are delighted that instead of becoming an international playboy, Harry decided to do “a fairly tough course” where apparently the hard physical regime is no longer concentrated in the first term but spread over the whole course. Hmm. Not exactly P Company then.

One soldier out in the desert – well I assume he was a soldier although he seems to use a submariners’ badge as his logo – was not about to stand up and applaud, not right now anyway. “You’re a bunch of arrse kissers,” Paveway 3 said. “He has just passed off at Sandhurst so he gets his respect from me when he proves himself as a soldier and an officer. He is a bloody
sprog.” Paveway 3 was roundly criticised for this outburst but I’m not so sure he isn’t right.

Whatever the problems of recent times, the British Army is still one of the best respected institutions in the country. No other organisation takes people from so many walks of life, across every social divide, and welds them into such a tightly well organized force. One of the less sycophantic posters on AARSE made Paveway 3’s point a little more subtly: “Congrats to all the young Sirs, and look forward to that moment when you first meet your Platoon/Troop.”

I remember a spanking brand new second lieutenant arriving in my artillery troop. Almost immediately he started giving us grief during a barrack block inspection and had us back in polishing everything until it gleamed in preparation for a second inspection. The bombardier (artillery equivalent of a corporal) in charge of the block – a guy called Steve Lord - was very unhappy about this since he felt he had whipped us into shape and the block was in good nick.

So he decided it was not us but the young subaltern who now needed whipping into shape. He borrowed some peanut butter from the cookhouse, and dropped a dollop on one of the newly cleaned and disinfected toilet seats. When the young subaltern came back for his re-inspection, he saw the peanut butter and turned to Lord, who was standing to attention behind him, pointed at it and asked with obvious disgust: “Bombardier, what’s that?” Lord stepped forward wiped his forefinger across the top of the dollop, put it to his tongue, stepped back sharply to attention and said: “Shit, Sir.” Exit second lieutenant. Strangely enough we never had any further problems with our barrack block inspection.

Sadly, after such a good introduction to life as a subaltern, that particular one never made the grade. He left the army a couple of years later, a shame because his initial start gave us many a happy night in the Naafi hearing Lord repeat his heroics, which somehow became much improved with every re-telling, although I swear I am sticking by the original version. The last time I saw the officer concerned was on an underground train when I was on an army language course in London. I think he told me he was now an investment banker and if he was he is probably very, very rich by now.

Harry of course, starts off very, very rich, which is a very good job. Having a private income is a pre-requisite of being a cavalry officer, you may remember the scandal a couple of years back involving an illicit liaison between a major in the King’s Royal Hussars and a female warrant officer. The industrial tribunal heard that the officers routinely wagered large amounts of champagne on whether they could enjoy the favours of the regiment’s female support staff, the most un-PC of which, and how do you grade such a thing anyway, was a competition to get the lesbian stable maid into bed. She was a corporal so it was not only un-PC it was against Queen’s Regulations. (Alongside such behaviour, a night in Spearmint Rhinos seems pretty small beer.) The mess bills were horrendous but the King’s Royal Hussars are amateurs compared to the Household Cavalry, who really do see themselves as the elite of the elite, though I suspect even their mess bills are unlikely to drain the pocket of Mr Wales.

All of this totally un-PC male bonding must sound very childish to civilians who have never served in the army, but bonding is essential when units actually get into action, as is the need for officers to know that they should rely on their NCOs and warrant officers to point them in the right direction occasionally, otherwise they are likely to end up putting not only their own lives but the lives of their men are at stake. So let’s hope that Harry’s class do bond well with their men, do take the jokes and japes in good heart, and when they get a bit higher up the chain remember how much they relied on those men back then and repay the favour with better treatment than some have seemed happy to mete out recently.

Comments

[Chuck Unsworth]

I'm glad Wales has joined the military. Although the more esoteric delights of a Cavalry mess have passed me by, I'm mortified to observe. In many regiments the officers' mess represented an extension of the Public School, (with possibly slightly less drinking, slightly more fornication and infinitely more silly games and rituals). That said, it may knock a few corners off, which could be an asset. Of course Sandhurst training is training with one's peers. Whereas out in the field the junior officers come into contact with the oiks. That is often a salutary experience on both sides.

There is still, no doubt, an atmosphere of us and them, of mutual contempt leavened with a mutual tolerance. However, Mick's comments about the splendid virtues of a well run army still ring true. I hope that the new officers do log on and take a look at their future colleagues' views. But we're making a few assumptions here about a) individual literacies, and b) the relative attention spans of these fine young men. It's reported that Wales is doing Bovingdon then being posted to Windsor. Plenty of opportunity to maintain the social side, then.

So comments about 'looking forward to meeting' etc may indeed have some interesting undertones....

[tricam]

Mick,

I do hope that second paragraph isn't meant sarcastically? The Commisioning Course may not be P Company in terms of physical demands but it does seem to be difficult and something anyone who passes it can be proud of.

Tricam.

[The 3rd Column]

Good points all, Mick.

I think it is fair to say thet there are plenty of those who arrive after Sandhurst with the wrong idea - either too keen on spit and polish, as here, or who are too lax.

It is undoubtably the NCOs task to bring them up to speed. If the officer does not learn he will have no future in the service. Happily the environment means that most get the message fast.

It is also true to say that once an officer reaches the age of about 30 there is a universal understanding that the army is run by the Sergeants. They are the single most important rank. No senior officer will ever have any doubt, and if a regiment performs badly it will be the Sergeants mess that will be checked as much , if not more, than the officers.