Desperate MoD Sells "His and Hers" Uniforms to Raise Cash

The defence budget is now officially in such a dire state that the Ministry of Defence has set up its own eBay-style internet auction selling off anything from army boots to £1,000 Green Goddess fire engines in an attempt to boost its funds. Whether it will actually produce much cash has to be questionable. Although those with a fascination for the military who are prepared to make a minimum bid of £10 have for instance just three days left to snap up “his and hers” army combat trousers at edisposals.com.

The MoD is anxious to stress the “his and hers” uniforms are aimed at couples wanting to take part in military-style adventure training rather than introducing a bit of variety into their sex life. But the adventure training potential of the more formal parade ground uniforms, also available in “his and hers” versions, minimum bid £20 for the two, is less easy to detect. As is that of the Women’s Royal Air Force uniform, 32 inch waist. The website seems to admit that even at just £15 it is unlikely to interest anyone for anything other than what it describes, possibly euphemistically, as “fancy dress” - though I ought at this point to stress that it doesn't interest me at all. No honestly, not even with those memories of Susannah York in Battle of Britain, it really doesn't!

For those truly interested in military-style adventure training, there is a “mummy style” current issue sleeping bag, which seems a relative snip at £10. “Planning an expedition to colder climates? - Then this is the one for you - Snuggle up!,” the advert for the sleeping bag says in a message apparently aimed at those buying the “his and hers” uniforms. There is also a military 12ft by 12ft frame tent which sleeps eight to complete the matching set of “adventure training” equipment. Although given the complaints of the forces about the standard of their tents, the minimum bid of £300 for the tent does seem slightly excessive.

Officials say the website, run by the MoD’s Disposal Services Agency, is an attempt to boost the defence budget by following the runaway success of eBay. The DSA, which put the website up live late on Friday, claims improbably that edisposals.com offers “the complete shopping experience”.

While officials at the DSA admits it has little chance of emulating eBay’s annual UK turnover of £4billion, they believe it will help them improve on the £700m they have managed to bring in over the past 15 years. Given the parlous state of the defence budget, which is said to have a £1.5bn black hole in it, it will take a lot more than selling a few “his and hers” uniforms to raise the necessary cash. But with the Royal Navy under threat of having to mothball half its ships, leaving it smaller than the French Navy for the first time since Trafalgar, anything is worth a go.

For those hoping to buy a part of the fleet, there is disappointment on the page offering ships for sale, the Chilean and Romanian navies having swooped on anything worthwhile leaving only a Cambridge rowing boat and a couple of tugs behind. As for what remains of the RAF, there are two Jaguar GR1 attack aircraft and four Jet Provost trainer aircraft for sale, albeit not on the edisposals.com part of the website.

Hmm, not quite going to fill that £1.5 billion black hole is it lads?

Comments

[The 3rd Column]

Unreal!

Mick, who's been responsible for the dire state of affairs at the MoD?

Would you say that Tony Blair who's been at the helm of government for almost 11 years is largely responsible for the frightening situation the defence department finds itself in?

Mick says: Difficult to disagree there (though isnt it 10 years, just seems a lot longer). But Gordon's been helping a bit I think.

[The 3rd Column]

Yep, Gordon is part and parcel of the raiding team.

He was (and still is) also responsible of the halving of our pension.

Nasty piece of work.

[Steve Midgley]

Just been to the auction site as I thought this was a wind up. After I stopped laughing I noticed for sale a single crutch. Perhaps we could have a whip round on here to buy it and send to Mr Blair to help prop up his wobbling government