Mick Smith - Times Online - WBLG

Letter From The Left Coast: The Americans Are to Blame for Boris!

Ian Bowater, back from taking out a mortgage to get his car towed, with the latest from the US elections

Having failed miserably as a political prophet, I am re-inventing myself as a psephologist. The world of political number crunchers and navel contemplators can always use one more. Hillary Clinton has been massaging the figures ever since it went pear-shaped all those months ago on Super-Dooper-Tuesday. She has won five of the last seven primaries and still has got no closer to Barack Obama. Like climbing uphill in loose sand, it might be good for toning her thighs but it is still a big pain in the ass. There is no good way for her to look at the numbers even though Bill insists there is. He was never good with figures only results. He couldn’t tell you how he reduced the deficit, he only knows he did.

My Son's in Afghanistan: Cooling Water in his Socks

Finally our soldier's Mum Mandy gets the longed-for phone call from Afghanistan

“Hello mum! It’s me!”

Oh my god! Finally, after nearly two weeks of crucifying silence I hear from Ross. I sit down on the dog, spilling my coffee.

“Still blistering in the heat though, but we’re all ok.  We trampled a field, but paid the farmer for the damage done… and the poor guy was later killed… probably because the Taliban thought he had sold information to us... another blew himself up planting a bomb. We all saw the explosion in the distance, which was captured on thermal imaging filmed by intelligence…. but they wouldn’t attack us outright, no matter what we did… they just weren’t having it...”

Tessa (I’ll jump under a bus for Tony) Jowell should, I feel, really be counting her blessings over the gypsy encampment at the foot of her £1million country pile. It could be a whole lot worse.

“…so, back at Bastion…yeah! I’m good. The sat phones went down and new ones were delivered after we were away down from the mountains. We’ve been protecting a village for five or six days, spread out all over and because we were in the Green Zone not much happened. It’s all good.”

It Wasn't Like That in My Day! But Some Things Will Never Change

Our resident veteran Chuck Unsworth goes back to his Vietnam days to reflect that disengagement from military occupations like those in Iraq and Afghanistan are never easy.

It’s a couple of hours flying over the South China Sea on a Boeing 707 from Singapore to Tan Son Nhut airport at Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City).  My flight, just after the Tet Offensive in January ‘68, was notable for a couple of things.  One was the elegantly uniformed cabin crew of extremely blonde blue-eyed stewardesses from the American Mid-West.  The other was being told on presenting my boarding card that I could sit anywhere I wanted.  On the aircraft there were only six passengers.

Why Des Browne Misled Parliament Over the Safety of the RAF's Nimrod Aircraft

The damning verdict given by coroner Andrew Walker on the deaths of 14 men in an RAF Nimrod spy plane that exploded over Afghanistan on 2 September 2006 resulted in headlines which concentrated on his call for the Nimrod fleet to be grounded and his insistence that the MoD’s “cavalier attitude to safety has to end”. That call led, ironically, to suggestions from some that Walker was passing judgement on issues he knows nothing about. I say ironically, because it is Walker’s critics who don’t know what they are talking about.

The Musa Qala Half-Marathon. Soldiers Under Fire Raise Money for Wounded Colleagues

Now it’s happened, we can reveal that British soldiers based at Musa Qala in northern Helmand raised more than £4,000 for Help the Heroes by running a half-marathon round their base yesterday. Regular readers will recall that we asked you to contribute to the guys’ sponsorship money by clicking on their website and pledging some money. Given that they are currently involved in a major operation against Taliban fighters who are trying to capture the town and that one of their number, a member of the SAS, was killed last week, this is astonishing. This is what Captain Chris Howard of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, who arranged it had to say about the race:

My Son's in Afghanistan: The Letters Are Mounting Up While He TABs Across Helmand

Our soldier's Mum Mandy gets hysterical waiting for the next phone call from Afghanistan

‘Well I know it’s a beautiful world…but I can’t feel it right now….’ just about sums up this week for me. I’m writing this, sheltered under the safety of my duvet where I have hidden myself for a few moments. Remember the old days, torch light illuminating the ‘just can’t put it down book’?  Well I’m back there with Heidi secreting her bread rolls in the wardrobe…..saving her world. It is quiet now and just...well…peaceful. I’m trying to fit all the pieces together and am battling my weariness to invent yet another coping strategy for my family. A bit like Cherie. Only without the ‘I am soooo… trying to sound poor like you,’  ‘What pay off?’  and… ‘Tony who?’ Someone should point this silly woman to a ship called Dignity and pray like hell that it might actually sail off with her. And take her human rights battalion with her too. Bon Voyage.

It Wasn't Like That in My Day: The Continuing Allure of the Bluey

Our resident veteran Chuck Unsworth looks at the importance to forces of ensuring the mail gets through and the vexed issue of whether those who have never served can ever understand

A Replenishment At Sea (RAS) is a searching test of every aspect of Seamanship for vessels and crews of the Royal Navy (White Ensign) and its Royal Fleet Auxiliary (Blue Ensign) support ships.  The Fleet Auxiliary ships have traditionally been crewed by civilians.  They are a remarkable group of men.  The RAS involves two or more vessels sailing in close proximity, parallel with each other, transferring stores, fuel, sometimes personnel, and crucially, mail from home.  The congregation of large amounts of seriously expensive capital equipment at a single point in any Ocean is enough to concentrate minds on the task in hand.  Failure to pay close attention will, inevitably, lead to Boards of Inquiry, stupendous amounts of paperwork and acute all round personal embarrassment. Watching one of these operations in full swing is akin to watching an impressive white-knuckle fairground ride, although I’ve never witnessed true disaster, despite the best efforts of one or two Ratings. 

My Son's in Afghanistan: Complaining Because he isn't Fighting the Taliban Enough!

Another traumatic phone call from 'Stan for our soldier's mum Mandy

I have heard the term ‘I’m bored’ twice this week and am in real danger of swinging off my virtual ‘orse and drowning myself in my honey encrusted milk! Firstly, Ross phoned from Camp Bastion, full of roller-coasting emotion about having operations cancelled at the last minute every day this week. “It’s just so frustrating mum!” I bite my lip to quell the feelings of joy. So! There is a God! I immediately phone the Ministry of Pretence to thank them…..but they are too busy fielding calls from the Home Office. A whopping £500,000 a year, is to be paid by British taxpayers, to place a man who is allegedly one of the world’s most dangerous terror suspects, Abu Qatada, under the new 22 hour ‘round the clock’ (!) cur-phew! And the best bit… the strongest conditions, like an electronic tag, should be imposed. Alrighty then! Let’s hope he doesn’t lodge an appeal to the Exeter judge that deemed tags ‘unfashionable’ and ordered the removal of the unsightly accessory from a convicted drug dealer, because it clashed with his shorts.

Letter From The Left Coast: Has Anyone Told Hillary She's Down and Out?

As the Democratic race enters its final furlong, Ian Bowater wonders why the Republicans still can't agree on McCain

True to form my last campaign prediction failed miserably. Despite being thrashed like a cheap rental car last Tuesday, Hillary is still in the race. Super Delegates are leaving in droves. But there is some suspicion in certain quarters that Obama is only picking up secretly pledged Super D’s and there are still some up for grabs. Where? Tell me where, fer crissakes! TIME magazine has already declared him the nominee. Most cable news pundits called it on Tuesday night only to wake up Wednesday to find she was still there, like a bad headache that won’t go away.

It Wasn't Like That in My Day! An Army Marches on its Stomach

Another note on how life seemed so much better back then for our forces from resident forces veteran Chuck Unsworth

From Hospital Hill in Aden, South Yemen, the view across the surrounding rocky escarpments at sunset is breathtaking.  The natural dusty burgundy of the hills and the crimson flare of the sun suffuse everything with an almost tangible rich red glow. 

The Marines, who arrived there in 1967 for the final stages of the British Withdrawal, would lounge around the makeshift open-air Galley which overlooked this stunning panorama. 

Meanwhile the cooks did their best with the ‘Compo’ (officially, ‘Composite’) Rations to produce an edible evening meal.  Occasionally the chefs proved successful, and we would dine al fresco in pleasing surroundings. From what one hears, our boys in Afghanistan are not quite so lucky!