My Son's in Afghanistan: Any Para Killed and I Think It's Him, or One of His Mates

Mandy, the mother of a para currently serving in Afghanistan and a regular contributor to this blog, describes what it's like when any British servicemen is reported killed in Helmand.

Ross's girlfriend Beenie burst through the door with the news just after 11.30pm on Sunday night. “Mandy… Three Paras have been killed…there may be more! A suicide bomber.” She’d been across the road and a friend from her British Airborne Wags Facebook network had just called. “She doesn’t know any more, just yet…” Oh god! My knees just went and I wanted to be sick. Beenie was crying and all hell seemed to break out...

I only spoke to Ross on Saturday. He had that tired but trying to ‘lie and sound normal’ tightness to his voice. I knew something was up. But he wouldn’t tell. Under pressure, he relents slightly, “Not over the phone mum.”

An eternity later, the news filtered through that these poor lads were all from 2 Para. Ross was safe. And I break down. Relief? Sorrow? Or sheer damn pressure? I just don’t know anymore. The thought does not escape me that he probably trained with these soldiers at Catterick. At 3am, sleep is still totally impossible. Cold and restless, I slip out of bed to re-watch these soldiers, competing with their big hearts on display, in their unbelievable ‘P Company’ CD. I just need to see his face. Doing what he loves. Doing what they all love.

I’m watching them march across the parade ground. Collecting their tankards and shields. A proud moment indeed as Ross collects ‘Best Recruit.’ The dreaded inspection passes and the band plays Freddie Mercury’s ‘I want to be free.’ The traditional ‘sherry and speech’…The stretcher run, the log run… the blood and sweat… Maybe, I think, he even milled against one of them….it was his least favourite task and although he had his arm raised at the end, he was glad to call that one in.

I remember buying a metal ruler for one of the Corporals at the Passing Out Parade. A gift, in waiting they told me, for the unfortunate next set of recruits. So many wooden ones had been snapped on the back of their heads during moments of distraction, and how they all stood there, shoulder to shoulder, laughing at this payback.  I torture myself for the rest of the night with waves of panic, grief, laughter and shallow relief. All rationalisation, believe me, totally vanishes.

Ross once invited a whole bunch of these lads home one weekend. I was supposed to be away…..but the floods of ’07 had drowned my tree and the lake was lapping at places it wasn’t supposed to. So there we all were…me cooking bacon and eggs at all hours and trying to stay out of the photos… and trying my best to dilute some very high jinx. Crates of Budweiser and Stella were improvised chairs and we all remember the rather confused milkman who left at 5.am dressed as Catwoman…

Now these boys are at full tilt. A Coy, 3 Para and a massive helicopter air assault, mortar bombs, grenades, bayonets, ammunition and water and each soldier carrying 100lb of equipment and body armour. Welcome to Operation Southern Earthquake in the Mizan district of Zabul. A previously unvisited area by Nato Forces in Afghanistan. 3 Para at two ends of mountainous terrain in one of the remaining Taliban strongholds.

I cannot buy into the numbers game…..each and every one of those boys is a hero to me. And someone’s son. I just want him home.

This today from a serving soldier who is coming home and is the same age as Ross:

I'm ready to come home! I'm not excited. I'm not jumping for joy. We're all tired. I’ve been nursing a leg injury for about 2 weeks now. I got grazed in my right leg by a bullet but I’m still pulling duty. Yeah! Didn’t want you to think I was lazing around! I figure, better to take a bullet in the legs than in my head. Our camp took some mortar attacks again. Luckily nobody died, just some injured. We've lost too many over here so there is nothing to be excited about. Either I leave walking on a plane and arrive in England walking off, or I’ll be carried off the plane in a box. I just want to go home. I'm tired.

Comments

[David from Cambridge]

I'm a little confused whether you are the poor boy's mother or his wife.

[Jeff, Brierley Hill]

It's a pity Gordon Brown and his minions at the MOD don't spend a few weeks with Ross and his colleagues onthe front line - maybe GB would then see fit to provide the equipment/facilities to enable these brave lads to do their job more effectively and hopefully save a few more lives. If the Government are not prepared to support them to the hilt, they should bring em' back alive, not in a box.

[Mike]

Dave from Cambridge , Are you unable to read the the intro? Or are you being superior?

[H.A. Gill]

This column brings back many familiar memories and regrets. While I am proud of my service as a US Army Ranger, I sincerely regret all of the tears and worries I caused my Dad and wife. While I was living the "high-speed" life, they lived in constant dread.

Dad was a hard man who I only saw cry once - the day I went off. My wife cried every time and only asked for a promise to return.

Sorry.

H.A. Gill
Los Angeles, California

[Keith]

Sounds to me as though Dave from Cambridge is somewhat more than a little confused.
Mandy, if you read this, my best wishes to your boy and his 'muckers'. They deserve better than this apology for a Prime Minister and his government.

[m3photo]

There are those who mock the proposal of electing someone like Jeremy Clarkson for Premiership.
He has my vote and so will any other who has the gumption to stop talking politically-correct jibberish and start saying things everybody thinks anyway.
You can too:
http://www.clarkson4pm.co.uk/

[Kevin]

My heart goes out to you. Having been a soldier on the front line you forget (or maybe push to the back of your mind) the pain and suffering it causes your loved ones. I'm sure your son knows your love and pride.
Everyone needs to read this to understand the job these guys do. The one thing in Britain to still make you proud of being British.

[William29]

That David (cambridge) considers himself a "little" confused says it all !

[Perween Zaman]

Mandy, I know how you feel, as I too have a son who has volunteered to serve in Afghanistan as part of the NATO forces. I speak to my son on the phone and know when he is "trying to lie and sound normal". I hope for the best because these soldiers are doing what they love best.

Dave from Cambridge, your comments are most insensitive.

[josephine mavromatis]

Just to sy hi 2 2 para my thought prayers and love with u all especially michael

LUV LOADS JOSIE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Debbie Innes]

Mandy, this could have been written by me give or take a few details. My son Bill is there with 2Para. He called me early Friday morning to tell me about his two mates James and Jeff. What he told me was incredible. I'm sure I went to work that day though what I actually did I dont know other than cry every so often or walk about in a daze. I cant wait to see him, the uncertainty is unbearable at times. I am so very sorry for the families of the those we've lost.
Thank you for writing this.