My Son's in Afghanistan: Can't Wait 'til He Comes Home on R+R!

Soldier's mum Mandy is looking forward to her son coming home on R+R

When Ross told us that he was back at base in Kandahar and would remain there till his R+R, we all danced around the house. But then we heard nothing at all from him. Seems he is up to a hell of a lot more in the mountains with the Quick Response Team. Immediately after dropping them off, their Chinook was forced to land when one of the rotors clipped the mountain side. “Mum, we just stood back and watched in horror as this huge helicopter fought desperately to negotiate the terrain before finally landing. A Sea-King was rapidly deployed, with a team of mechanics on board, and to see such a little thing take over was pretty amazing.”

I ask him if he is anywhere near the guys from 2 Para, the unit that has suffered most of the casualties in recent fighting. “No! I am not anywhere near 2 Para, and is this your way of trying to find out where I am?” He is annoyed and changes the subject. That’s me told then! The intensity of trying to balance it all is relentless.

We are so close to his R+R that it is all we think of. I really do not know how we would be doing if we didn’t have this to keep us going. The first thing he wants to do is have a few pints with his mates. And Beenie of course. It’s been really tough for her, especially these last few weeks. I do not count the nights anymore, that we have sat together and watched the sun come up.

It’s the same for Tom. But he’s now allowed himself to actually imagine a day out with his brother and plans to whip him at golf. It’s so good to see Tom laughing again and joking about Ross being so at home in the sandy bunkers that he’ll probably dig himself in and back down to Afghan! But not before a trip to the lake and a boys outing to a well known surfers paradise! I just hope they hide the donkeys, bearing in mind the last barbeque Ross organised.

I wonder how he’s changed. He’s already told us that he will not talk about what he has seen out there. Maybe he will when his tour finally ends later in the year, but the fact that he makes light of everything scares me rigid. I hear the tightness in his voice. And the weariness. But he’s a tough cookie and I know we are one of the lucky ones.  So far.

It’s easy to be afraid. Just not so easy to deal with the fear. My anger at our government has deteriorated as has their ability to influence me anymore. I just feel utter contempt for them. And to know that our troops are striving to bring democracy so far away when our own back yard bathes in their total chaos has gone beyond laughable.

Right now, I can’t imagine how we will ever get back to how we were as a family. Lines have been crossed and so many words have been spoken, some in anger and some in total pain. Whatever the reason, we have without doubt, all moved into a very different place.

Comments

[Jerry Holmes]

I know exactly how all family's feel about their son or daughter being on this tour of Afghanistan. My son Dan is a pvt (18 years old) with 2 Para, B coy in Inkerman. A real hotspot and where two of those brave lads that lost his lives, one was in Dan's room. I pray for Dan's telephone call, sometimes daily, and fret when is does not come. He gets weary and has mixed emotions, angry, scared. He will never let his colleagues or himself down, that is his way and why he was accepted to the regiment. He off loads some of the events, it is the best for him and it stays with me as it is not good to repeat. They are not achievements just brutal debilitating facts. Sometimes we have a laugh but not often. Among men, everyone an emperor! Never a statement more apt. I love him to bits, I hope his lucks holds out and that his mind is strong enough to cope out there and afterwards! I try to remain a pillar for him to batter if he needs to or draw strength from if he can. Thanks to the army for providing those satelite phone links from the FOB. I have no way to know what he has to go through in his mind. I hope everyone one of them returns home safely and they deserve our greatest respect for evermore. The political argument over pay and support is futile. Money rules for the politician and unless they had a serving member on the front line they do not have sufficient experience to make decsions for these men. Let them walk with this fear I have each day. They would struggle to complete their second home expenses report.
Jerry Holmes
Ascot

[Ian]

I too live with this everyday, although he is not my son, I have to try to hold everyone together through this. I cannot wait to bring this laddie home. When I look at what is going on in this country I just cant help but think Gordon Brown should get a job at Macdonalds and let someone who knows what they are doing actually lead this country.

[Chuck Unsworth]

@ Ian.

With respect, I doubt that Mr Brown would pass the MacDonalds aptitude test.