Nigel Antony Richard Backhouse MVO - 1956-2008. A Great Loss.

I went to the funeral of a man I was proud to call a friend today. The mourners packed into the pretty church of St Giles, Ashtead, near Leatherhead, bore testament to the ease with which Nigel Backhouse made friends. There were many people there today who had lost a very good friend and will have been helped in their loss by a beautiful service. I am sure their hearts went out, as mine did, to his young family. How to explain the death of someone so young? One of the readings came from The Prophet by the Lebanese poet and philosopher Kahlil Gibran.

    On Death
    By Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and
expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Nigel Backhouse, a good friend to many, a man who will truly be sorely missed.

Comments

[hayden]

Dear Mr. Smith,

Please accept my deepest sympathy.

Hayden

[ML]

A very sad loss to a great many people. Thoughts cannot but be with Nigel's family.

ML

[Hamish Backhouse]

Dear Mick,

Just a quick thank you for the article above, particularly for including the reading. I know dad had always had it at the back of his mind and it seems he had previously recited it to most of the people who attended!

I was searching the internet just to see what came up; not wanting to accept the possibility that things might turn sour,I think we omitted to travel along his past when Dad was with us.

Either way, if ever a small anecdote pops into your head that you feel Sharon or my younger brothers and sisters might enjoy I would always be happy to hear it!

Kind regards

Hamish ( Nigel's Eldest son)

[Whit Mason]

I've just belatedly learned that Nigel passed away, around the same time as my own father. He and I had some very interesting talks in and about interesting places and I greatly appreciated his own appreciation of the colourful diversity of the world and his gentle, courtly demeanor. He seemed to value his days selling garments in Bangkok as much as his loftier posts later in life.