Complete the sentence: I feel sorry for Alistair Darling because.....
March 12, 2008The "angry man" budget: those new enemies in fullAlistair Darling's McBland budget still has the potential to upset lots of people. Are you on the list, and have we missed anyone out? And are you cross yet?
Tax avoiders who, once again, are being picked on. Darling thinks that this latest crackdown (a favourite of budgets past) will generate up to a billion squids. Also in this category: the enemies of accountants who will multiply in numbers to cope with the crackdown. People who want 25 year fixed term mortgages. A fixed term staple of Labour budgets. Yet another consultation, yawn. US non doms who received no reassurances they will be able to offset any new UK tax in the US Enemies of unviversal benefits as child benefit - also received by the middle classes - was hiked to £20 a week Binge drinkers who will raise £600 million to pay for child poverty. People who took Darling at his word when he said he had no intention of whacking up alcohol duty in next month's Budget on the grounds that the Government should not "punish everyone for the sins of a minority". Smokers who will pay 11p a packet more (we don't believe David Cameron's claims he's quit, and Nick Clegg apparently enjoys the odd one too) Scroungers on incapacity benefit who face new tests to see if they should work. No rest for the slothful. Optimists: after being told by the Chancellor of uncertainly, recession, turbulence and major slowdown in the world weekend People who want a quiet weekend: expect a stampede to the off-license before booze taxes go up on Sunday The enemies of smug teetotal drivers of low carbon cars. Enough said. Enemies of the afternoon snooze: at least one peer enjoyed Darling's speech with his eyes shut Enemies of spin: almost the entire budget was pre-briefed to the media. Customs officers: Who will welcome thousands of new continental booze cruisers from Monday Fans of good accounting: they haven't included the winter fuel allowance in next year's figures Enemies of stability, mentioned 23 times. Stability is the new Prudence. Is the new political cliche 5 reasons why this will be the "boring" budgetA rolling guide - updated through the day - to the ways which Alistair Darling is trying to make today's budget as dull as possible 1. It'zzz called the "Stability and Opportunity Budget". Not nearly as sexy as "New Ambitions for Britain" (1998) or a crowd-pleaser like"Prudence for a Purpose" (2004) 2. Its Parliamentary title is even more stultifying: "Chancellor of the Exchequer: Debt and Reserves Management Report 2008/09." 3. A Treasury Official has already said: "this is not the time for a pulse raising budget". 4. It's been extensively pre-briefed so that anything controversial (alcohol taxes) wont take us by suprise. 5. Ken Clarke had whisky. Nigel Lawson had whisky with water. Gordon Brown had bottled water. Darling has trumped them by being even more dull: tap water.
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