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Brian Paddick does it for free...

Apparently Paddick hasn't (and wont) claim any election expenses for the Mayoral race. A labour of love, it seems. (Apparently his Met Police pension is rather large). Huh.

The Return of Vince

Vince Cable will be guest appearing opposite Harriet Harman for the PMQs where Brown is absent.

The Tories still haven't said who they are putting up. They insist they aren't dithering over the decision, but don't want to say to wrongfoot Labour...

The Ming Campbell tribute being passed around Lib Dem circles...

Click on the article to enlarge.

Some Lib Dems are getting huge pleasure out of comparing this Private Eye diary with the real thing. For instance, Craig Brown's suggestion that Ming was offered governorship of Gibraltar by Jack Straw may sound fantastical, unless you have read page 174 of The Book....

What Lib Dems will do in a hung Parliament

In the event of a hung Parliament, the Liberal Democrats may briefly become the most powerful party in Britain and decide who becomes prime minister. Yet they refuse to talk about it, claiming that they are focused only on "maximum votes and maximum seats".

This is not true. Last March 8 and 9, when Ming was leader, the parliamentary party spent a weekend at Henley management centre to discuss what they would do if there were a hung Parliament. He mentioned the event in his autobiography (boasting how they tricked the media into thinking it was about something else). Now the internal presentation has been leaked.

It is a revealing document. It indicates timetable, priorities and what the party's MPs must say if asked about hung Parliaments before polling day. It also talks about "poison pills" in the manifesto (what are they?) the importance of PR legislation (as well as a referendum) and the possibilty of a quick second election (presumaby if they pull out of the coalition).

Its publication (I'm not the first, it appeared on Iain Dale's site yesterday) will make it harder for them not be drawn on discussions about a hung Parliament.

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Lembit Opik: no leader

There are more pressing issues than the Budget and its hangover this morning (already way down the BBC News 24 running order.) The only real political story today is Lembit Opik's calamitous appearance last night on The Apprentice Sports Relief special.

Lembit was the only politician in the boys' group - alongside Kelvin McKenzie (ex Sun), Hardeep Singh Kohli (TV presenter), Phil Tufnell (cricketer), and Nick Hancock (comedian). He could and should have provided the team with leadership, decision making and the ability to win people over.

Yet he sulked, dithered and then flailed during high-wire negotiaions with the girls' team (led by Jacqueline Gold, who runs Ann Summers). The others tried to to organise a coup for Kelvin McKenzie to take power. He couldn't even get the Cheeky girls to the event his team was organising. One review this morning said:

Lembit Opik revealed that he has all the commanding authority of a kitten that's just come out of a tumble dryer. I hope that he doesn't have Lib Dem leadership ambitions, because all an opponent would have to do to dish his chances utterly would be to play a DVD of this programme.

For those who were foolishly watching budget coverage last night, this is unmissable, and still available for the next week on BBC iPlayer (6 days left).

Lembit is still widely expected to run for the position of Lib Dem President, to replace Simon Hughes. God help the party - and its meetings - if he does.

Sir Menzies and the Lib Dems: not much love lost (Updated)

Sir Menzies Campbell was airbrushed out of the first party conference since his departure.

He didn't attend (in the US, fundraising, apparently***), he wasn't name checked, as far as I saw, from the platform and Clegg failed to mention him in his speech or the rally.

Judging by the reaction of people in the conference hotel bar, this was largely in tune with the mood. His autobiography has riled people. Several complained at the "unnecessary" way he dwelt on Charles Kennedy's drink problem (Charles is still very popular), and the fact that it had been serialised in the Mail on Sunday, not a newspaper Lib Dems will admit to liking. Others simply acknowledged that he hadn't been up to the job. Some were just rude.

Asked why Clegg didn't mention Ming all weekend, one ally defended The Boss: "He made a fulsome tribute to Ming on December 18th."

Ouch.

*** Update: We were told by Lib Dem staffers that Ming couldn't attend because he was in the US fundraising for St Andrews university. And yet he appeared this morning on the (live) BBC Radio 4 programme Start the Week at 9am. Hmmmmm.