Parents of school age children, beware infections....

Today's blogger Gillian, an ex-teacher herself and mother of two, is not a happy woman. Her second daughter started school this year, and this has made her even more enraged about how irresponsible parents are - and how unhygienic school ends up being. Gillian now wants to issue a warning, and a plea, before the next school year begins! She's also convinced that it's a British thing: she says things are far better in the US, where she grew up.
Gillian writes:

"I just can't seem to get them all"; "I just gave up"; "Hope you don't mind, he threw up this morning but he didn't want to miss out."

And on they come, wave after wave of them. How many thousands of school days are lost each year because one parent decides to send their child into a classroom of otherwise healthy pupils? And when will teachers take a stand?

I picked up my daughter after she had supper at one play-date only to be casually informed: "Oh we've all just had worms. Just so you know."

Another time, I had a family over for a visit, only for the child to lift his shirt to show me, and everyone else, what was itching and hurting him under his shirt. It just happened to be "highly contagious impetigo" all over his chest. And his parents had continued to send him to school!

Then there was the time that my elder daughter came home with nits, from a sleepover....That was not a happy going home gift, for parents or child.

Oh, and did I mention people sending the children to school with strep throat, chicken pox or tonsillitis - all dealt with a "whatever" or "oops" attitude. Hey, it's just kids.

I have been described as a hypochondriac and a germaphobe, but come on, these are highly contagious things and shouldn't be taken so lightly. You wouldn't sit next to the tubercular cougher on the train would you? What about sharing toothbrushes or shaking hands with someone you've just been informed didn't ever wash them?

Don't parents know when it's time to keep a child home from school? Where is the awareness or any sign of thinking about others?

Perhaps there should be a school handbook on when to keep kids home, adhered to by parents and teachers, so that children who are sick are kept out of the classroom.

In dance class, my daughter had to remove her shoes and socks and then press her feet against another child's. Guess what she ended up with? A Verruca. A verruca which I had to medicate, file nightly and eventually have burned off because neither the teacher nor the parent seemed to care about hygiene.

It's good to teach children sharing, but most illnesses, like inappropriate toys, are better left at home. Please don't bring them to school."

(picture by AZAdam on flickr.com)

Comments

[Sam]

As a teacher and a parent I know how important it is for ill children and ill teachers to stay at home. Our oldest son has a lowered immune system, so hes brilliant at catching bugs so we have to be careful and ask his school that a sick child shouldn't be in his classroom. Apparently though for one parent keeping a child home that had the winter vomiting virus was too much, so my son had to leave his school permanently for the convenience of lazy parents.

[Suzie Bee]

I think it changes once you get to the exam-taking age. I have been quite ill over the past three weeks (non-contagious, I assure you) and yet, as an A level student, have insisted on going into school on all but two days, when I came down to breakfast looking so fragile my mother marched me straight back up to bed. It is so difficult to catch up on lessons at this level and so it may well be students who are insisting on going to school. In primary school, however, I agree completely that ill children should be kept at home - many's the time I've caught nits or chicken pox from someone who was clearly ill.

[Sundaeg1rl]

THANK GOD someone is talking sense! I am sick of sick children in school passing on their bugs to my daughter, and eventually me. My daughter has had every lurgy going since term started! It seems that kids aren't being taught basic things like using a hanky or tissue, or covering their mouths when they cough or sneeze, or even just washing their hands!

It's one thing that my daughter has to be off sick because of someone else's slack parenting - it's quite another when I inevitably catch it too and have to spend even more time off work.

Parents need to take responsibility of their kids and not use school as a daytime dumping ground, especially when they're covered in spots/snot/vomit!

Well said, good article!

[Helen]

OK, we're all agreed on the problems - what are the solutions?

Parents in lower-income areas are most likely to lose money if they don't work because their child is ill(no sick pay for them), so of course they will send kids to school ill. So let's improve the statutory sick pay scheme for parents and carers, especially for the lower paid.

Professional parents' careers are always on a reputational knife-edge and they live in a world of presenteeism. Everyone plans for emergencies, but in my experience the day that your child is ill, so is your emergency childcarer...

We cannot moan about one aspect of work and parenting without examining the way working lives are put together. Until commercial and public life is more parent- and carer-friendly, people will make these kinds of decisions for reasons that are rational to them.

[Penny]

The school we go to is keen to have good attendance and rewards children with certificates and attendence ted if they don't have any days off. Parents are also told how bad it is for the school's OFSTED report if attendance is below average. I have encountered a mother in tears, "my child has impetigo but the headteacher has been on the phone about attendance" What are we to do? And this of course is before your own boss is angry if you take time off to look after a sick child. The worst Calpol child I know is the daughter of a teacher!

[newjerseygirl]

My son's preschool puts up signs informing parents when a pupil has been diagnosed with something catching like chickenpox or head lice (not naming them, of course!) - for example, when one had infectious conjunctivitis, the notice explained the symptoms for the rest of us to watch out for and asked politely but firmly that you keep your child at home if he/she showed any signs. Sometimes there is a question as to whether you should keep your child at home (I would still take mine to preschool if he had a cold) – at least this way, parents can't use the excuse that they thought no one would mind if their darling little angel spread some hideous rash around!

[tiredmum]

don't most schools have policies on vomiting / diarroeah ? - ours are not allowed back for 48 hours after any incidence. My work has the same policy (I work in the NHS). Surely the teacher Dottoressa refered to, who was told to keep an eye on a boy who had been vomiting all night, should have told the parents to take him home.

[Denise]

My school gives a prize for full attendance over a year, so children who go to school every day, even when ill are rewarded, and kids who are sensibly kept at home are penalised. what kind of message is that.

[Denise]

My school gives a prize for full attendance over a year, so children who go to school every day, even when ill are rewarded, and kids who are sensibly kept at home are penalised. what kind of message is that.

[JW]

What's the problem - don't you realise that schools are merely unpaid childminders these days used by parents who don't care or have other things to do. My wife has taught for 30 years and each year comes home with more and more unbeleivable tales of parental ignorance.

[JW]

The people who are most likely to go into school when they are sick are the teachers themselves. Would you like your child's teacher to have time off every time they are ill to avoid spreading germs? It's just not realistic to expect that - which is why most teachers don't.

[Sarah]

It isn't just parents: since starting a new job in a let's say, less middle class environment I am amazed at the number of people who think it is perfectly ok to come into work when they have had d & v, even chickenpox. Instead of just a few working days being lost for one person, several people get ill! (And the person with chickenpox didn't seem to think it was a problem that any of us could have been in the early stages of pregnancy and so exposed to serious risks by her stupidity).

[Debbie]

I totally agree on this, that kids should be kept home when they are sick or have something infectious. Having said that my girls school has a published list of illness and when they can and come can;t to school. If you bring them when they are sick you will get a call asking you to come and pick them up. If one has nits a letter goes home to the whole class asking all parents to treat the kids and the again 5 days later. I am lucky that I can work from home when the kids are sick, but that is not the case for a lot of parents and so may influence their decision, but I think more often they just don't want to have to deal with a sick child and would rather let the school do it.

[Shannon]

I'm a student, I have worked at a day care for about a year. And there were parents who would drop off their child when they were sick.(I'm guessing their not caring about the health of these other kids). But anyways one child came to school sick and by the end of the day we had only one child left who wasn't sick. The rest all had to leave school because they had high fevers... Parents leave your sick kids at home, nurture them, just love them a little more. Give them the love they need. Be there for them. And God Bless you all.

[Shannon]

I'm a student, I have worked at a day care for about a year. And there were parents who would drop off their child when they were sick.(I'm guessing their not caring about the health of these other kids). But anyways one child came to school sick and by the end of the day we had only one child left who wasn't sick. The rest all had to leave school because they had high fevers... Parents leave your sick kids at home, nurture them, just love them a little more. Give them the love they need. Be there for them. And God Bless you all.

[Sam]

When pressured and bullied by employers many parents feel that they have no choice but to send their children to school, for fear of losing their job.

Nits are a classic case of least said soonest mended. Ignorance is rife, "we couldn't possible have nits" the comments from women who stand in the playground itching. Explaining that having nits can interfere with your child's education may improve the situation - many children with nits sleep badly (all that itching) Children who sleep badly do not make good students.

[Dottoressa]

I agree wholeheartedly!

I am not one to keep my children at home unless they are genuinely ill - but if they are genuinely ill, there is no way I'd send them to school to pass it on to everyone else. A couple of weeks ago, I heard the father of one of my son's classmates telling their teacher "X has had vomiting and diarrhoea all night, but is desperate to come to school, so please make sure he doesn't get dehydrated." (Said father is a GP...).

I was not pleased.

As for the can't-have-time-off-work argument: why don't people consider this kind of thing before they try to combine parenthood and a career? (At least try to find a nanny/alternative arrangement in advance, surely!!)

[sunny30]

Not everyone is like this - I always keep my children home when they get ill - what i find very difficult to cope with - the schools filthy toilets as does my youngest who just cant use them (they smell mum). Its no wonder the children get tummy bugs.

[sunny30]

Not everyone is like this - I always keep my children home when they get ill - what i find very difficult to cope with - the schools filthy toilets as does my youngest who just cant use them (they smell mum). Its no wonder the children get tummy bugs.

[Joyce]

The reason that parents send infectious children to school is probably most likely to be that they want to avoid taking time off work to care for them especially if they don't have the option of working from home.

[Albert]

Yes, you are right of course.

But what almost all Americans fail to realise about Britain is that we are brought up with a number of beliefs.

1. There is a war on (Germany? France? USA? Osama?), so we mustn't complain.
2. We must not bother the busy doctor with inconsequential childhood afflictions.
3. We must do exactly what the medical profession tells us (MMR, lay baby on face to sleep), and no more.
4. Excessive cleanliness (you thought that was an oxymoron, didn't you!) is a bad thing.
5. etc

[Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk]

I am surprised at the lacksadaisical attitude some parents have to dealing with nits. I check my children's hair every couple of weeks while they are in the bath, whether they need it or not. It just makes sense to me to be prepared.

[Terina]

I can't believe I'm agreeing with you, as you do sound pretty neurotic, but you have got a point. A mother in my son's class sent her daughter into school the day after she was sick all night. Guess what? The whole class got ill.....