Ten top tips for a happy transition to secondary school

There’s a huge difference between primary and secondary school. And the summer before starting Year 7 is exactly when nerves begin kicking in.

In a quest to help, we at School Gate have enlisted Beverlie. She's a mother of four, three of whom are now at (different) secondary schools, and here to give us her top ten helpful hints. In fact, she says she wishes someone had done this for her….

What you should know:

1) It may all be new for your child, but it isn’t for the school
Your child's new school will have had years of experience and systems in place to help smooth the process. After all, it's in their best interests not to have a bunch of little ones lost and weeping in the corridors! They may not know your child, but there's not a lot they haven't encountered.

2) Don’t share your anxiety with your child
Children will absolutely pick up on any fears you may have – even if they don’t actually share those fears themselves. Try to remain calm and positive, and chances are they will too.

3) Make sure your child visits their future school during term time
All the schools my children have attended had open days and tours. They really helped, particularly for the children to have a sense of familiarity once they start.

4) Travel to and from school during the summer holidays
Make sure you use the mode of transport they will be using if possible (obviously not if it’s a school bus). Point out landmarks to help the child familiarise themselves with the journey and apply for travel cards in plenty of time.
Extra tip: Go through strategies for when the journey does not go quite according to plan. If a child misses their stop, chances are they will be so panic stricken that they won’t be able to think clearly!  But if they have it in their head that all they have to do is cross the road and hop on the same number bus going the other way, they will be more able to take it in their stride.   

5) Be prepared for childish behaviour
Growing up can be scary and a new school overwhelming. Try and be sympathetic and keep them feeling safe and secure with familiar boundaries such as bedtime etc

6) Know whom to speak to regarding pastoral care at school
And don’t be afraid to make contact should there be a problem. 

7) Be organised
Most schools give out a list of equipment your child will need for school. I'm not the most organised of people, but finally took my own advice and got everything my child needed within the first week of the school holidays. Only someone who has left this kind of thing hanging over them until the last days of the holiday will understand what a joy it was to not have that last minute panic.  Label everything, pack the school bag, hang up the uniform…and forget about it all until they start school

8) Find out about school meals
Your child may have to choose a school dinner rather than packed lunches for the first time. Ask about the cost of these if paying daily. There is nothing worse than choosing something and then being embarrassed by it costing more than you expected! 

9) Mobile phone advice
Most children now have mobile phones and they can use these to contact you. (The Police advise that children should not be given the most up to date phones as this makes them prime targets for mugging).  Reassure your child that you’ll be there for them over the first few days, but remind them of school rules regarding phones – many confiscate them if they’re seen during lesson time.
A couple of my children initially called every break time to say that…it was break time!  I guess they just wanted to hear my voice. Within a week or so they were settled and confident and I didn’t hear from them again.

10) Try and meet people beforehand
At one of my children’s secondary schools a class list with names and addresses on it was circulated and we had weekly get-togethers for any children who were around. These were very low-key, but you could see new friendships blossoming and it really helped the children on the first day to see lots of familiar faces. 

Above all, have confidence in your child’s abilities!  My third child has just completed his first year at secondary school.  He went from a tiny independent school of 20 children per year group in what was little more than a large house, to an enormous university-like complex with over 300 children per year group. He is quite little in stature and not terribly independent and I was initially concerned that he would struggle with the sheer size of the place.  But these were very much my concerns, because he has sailed through this first year. I have loved watching him become more confident and independent and hope that my input has in some small way helped him on his way.

Read School Gate for our:

Explanation of secondary schools in the UK,

Tips on how to get into the secondary school of your choice,

Top eight tips for going back to school,

Explanation of all the post-GCSE exams and the soft A levels that universities don't want you to take....

Comments

[stu]

Some good, if not common sense advise there but I do worry about John who wrote

"At 11 my son was making cross country journeys involving several changes of train and bus, to a desternation he'd never been to before..."

Blimey. Why are you so Harsh. Why is your Son going to Destinations they have not been to on their own at 11 years old? It looks as if you were neglecting your children there. I live in the Home Counties and I take my 11 year old son on many trips where he has to do some of the planning. He has to map the trains, buses or even the tube and work out the time it takes etc. But i would never expect him to do this journey on his own at 11 years old. I think that borders on neglect if not stupidity.

Follow some basic common sense and all will be well.

A tip we used when our Daughter went to secondary school was make it feel like it was exciting to be there and she fitted in really well.

[John]

'a bunch of little ones lost and weeping in the corridors!'

These are 11 year olds! At first I thought I was reading about 5 year olds, I'm amazed that nearly grown young people can be so childish...'Point out landmarks to help the child familiarise themselves with the journey'...really! At 11 my son was making cross country journeys involving several changes of train and bus, to a desternation he'd never been to before...why are kids brought up to be so utterly helpless...

[Snuffy]

Very good advice Sarah!

[Arthur Van Der Lae]

"Don’t share your anxiety with your child"

This point is the most relevant of all. Don't create an issue that isn't really there.

[Henry Weiss]

For me, when our kids started secondary schools it definitely felt like a coming of age - for the kids and for me and the Mrs! Now they're there they love it however scarey it is sending them off into a big institution.