Bullying because of religious faith and the consequences

Bullying can happen for many reasons, but often it's because a child is "different" in some way. It might be that they wear glasses, are short or tall or, like one of our School Gate parents, develop faster then their peers. So, although I'm saddened by the news that one in four young people has been bullied due to their faith, I can't say that I'm totally surprised.

A new report from Beatbullying has found that a quarter of children aged 11 to 16 have been violently bullied because of their religion. Many say that this has seriously damaged their self-esteem, even leading them to self-harm, drink alcohol or take drugs. This is tragic. Also tragic are the consequences of such bullying for society. Pushing away or picking on children who follow a different religion from the majority makes them even less likely to want to mix with children of other faiths. The report says that one in five young people chooses to mix largely with friends of the same religion. Ignorance breeds contempt and sticking to those from your own faith or culture, whether out of fear or not, leads to a less cohesive community. I definitely feel that the best way for children to learn about other religions is to meet children who practise them.

Beatbullying runs Interfaith bullying prevention programmes, funded by the government. But I have to say that, although I'm sure these are helpful, the increasing number of faith schools (also funded by the government) probably aren't. As I've said before, these faith schools are often used as another way for the middle classes who can't afford private schools to take flight. But they also take children away from those of other faiths.

By the way, another interesting fact in the Beatbullying report was the high number of young people who said they believed in a God - 80 percent. It's sad to read that bullying made them "ashamed of their religion or made their question their faith." But I also wonder what happens as they grow older. Other UK polling suggests that a far lower percentage of adults say they believe in God. When does this belief fade?

Read School Gate on:

Tips on how to beat bullying - for parents and children

What to do if your child hates school

I was bullied - now I fear for my children

Comments

[rosebud]

how can you all say we are brain washed by our parents into following a religion? i was brought up by my non-religious father and step-mother, yet became a christian at the age of 13. throughout school i let only my friends know i was a christian unless something about my beliefs came up in conversation. i was never bullied for my beliefs and everyone who knew treated me no differently because of it. at school i only one of my group of friends was a christian yet all of my other classmates, although did not share or even understand my beliefs, knew it was my individual choice and they had no right to make me feel inferior or left out because of this.

[peter]

I am a governor of a Faith School. If your Faith manifests in your lifestyle and values you will be challenged. If you are indistinguishable from those who do not share the same expression of Faith - then there won't generally be a problem. I would prefer it if more "faith families" had more confidence in their belief systems and sent their children to "secular schools"

[Naeem]

I think all religions need to be respected. Dialogue is important as it reinforces the common good we all believe in. God does not promote bullying in fact the opposite, so lets try to live by our faith not behave in a manner that is contrary to the essence of faith, I know Islam teaches great respect towards the great prophets Jesus and Moses and Mary so why this debate. Naeem

[fiona]

i was bullied for not believing in a god, not having a religion and not bothering about what religion a person or my friends were.
the bullys were christian, jews and muslim.
i've learnt from it and don't appreciate it when my "so called elders and betters" berate non-believers for not buying into their words and ideology.
So for now, i'll continue to tell myself i'm mostly surrounded by insane people.

[Marco]

Posted by: | November 23, 2008 at 03:12 PM re: the bullying of your son, threaten the life of this man and of his family and mean it. it's the only way you'll get some peace. get armed and make sure he's damn scared and above all - tell him to F* off home and that that sort of behaviour will not be tolerated in YOUR country. get the neighbours in on it too.

[Kim]

QU:When does the religious faith of children fade?

A:When they grow up.

[Whimsey]

Jenny, one thing I would definitely identify, and that's that the 'say no to Christmas' (or any other Christian festival) which is being promulgated because oh dearie me, it might offend the precious sensibilities of other faiths, is actually being run by the secularists, who are DESPERATE to abolish Christianity per se. And if that means sucking up to other faiths (who aren't, so far as anyone knows, in the slightest 'offended' by Christimas anyway) then that's what they'll do.

[Jenny]

I'll lay odds that this emphasis is intended to attack Christians who send their children to religious schools, which are in line with their religious beliefs. The fact is that there is no discussion about the bullying and abuse that Muslim children are guilty of, towards Christian children, in areas that are rapidly becoming no go. I wonder why that is?

I wonder why Rowan Williams has not said one word about the death threats against Bishop Nazir-Ali and people who have converted from Islam to Christianity? Even more curious, why does the Times religious correspondents sweep those facts under the rug?

Is the times promoting state and other's persecution of Christians?

[Whimsey]

Anon with the nightmare neighbour - are you in the UK? You need to take action against this man. For a start, warn the police, who will need to warn the football club. If he does this to you, and your children, and so does his son, what will he do next, and to others? His behaviour is criminal.

[alan]

Sue - what will you say to Zeus and Thor when you face them?

[Ludo]

ad: SALLY - the God is not a fairy-tale. he´s reality, wheater we want it or not
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it somehow belongs to coexistence of different cultures - to beat each other for reasons they themselves do not fully understand
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it is the nature. even a subtle difference matters - between friend and foe there is a thin line - perhaps it has (had) some evolutionary context and that´s why we people are as we are
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it is interesting to hear from some muslim cleric, that pirates attacking muslim ships are doomed ant attacking the others were tolerable.. hehehe
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but it is a good example. look at the israel an palestinians. (please do not teach me about tolerance in europe) - violence from both sides
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I think one should percieve it in a bit more realistic way - we should find some way, that could make us live together in piece
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this planet is too small for the zealots

Just last week, on his way back from school, my 13-year old son was taunted by a neighbour's son in the street outside our home. This boy said to him "You stupid circumsised Jew - wanna fight about it?". This was particularly disturbing because my son had never even spoken with the boy before, and also the other boy happened to be a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. My son approached the boy's father who happened to be in his front garden nearby, to inform him of what his son had said to him. As he approached, the father began swearing and gesticulating in a threatening manner - he then started chasing my son. He ran as fast as he could back home and luckily, I was there with my eldest son because this monster had already had come around the side of our property in an attempt to catch our youngest child. When he heard the front door open, he came around to the front of the house and stuck his foot inside the door and said "Where is he, I'll 'ave him!". He then proceeded to unleash a disgusting, psychotic vitriole directed at my son who was shaking and crying in fear on the stairs. He had the impression that my son had bullied his son! This was a patently ridiculous statement as the opposite was in fact true. My son has no background in bullying and certainly is no match for a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. There could never be an excuse for an adult to terrorise our children. After ten minutes of having to listen to his slurs and insults,
he allowed us eventually to close our door, and he left. Our first instinct was to call the police, but I called my brother who advised against it - citing repurcussions on our children's future safety. We are hoping the matter will be forgotten, but we have arranged for my son to be escorted to and from school in future. It was further disturbing to have learnt that the father was a local youth football coach. Ironically, he is a European immigrant, and we were born and bred here. This is a rural area, and we thought these kinds of things only happened in cities.

[Tony King]

Never experienced any sort of bullying or harressment from other relgiious groups apart from muslim males. They are particularly zealous in discriminating and hating the non-muslim fellow school mates on basis of their ideological or theological beliefs.

[i.e.]

We've had a discussion on here before about the hierarchy of bullying, such as in skin colour trumping body fat. I imagine there is a hieracrchy of religious bullying within that.

We have heightened levels of sensitivity in many areas across the diversity spectrum and we pander to them. This covers gender, race, nationality, belief, class, ideology. We have untouchables and those we consider fair game. I cannot help but feel that those who cry loudest for fairness and equality would not actually accept it in practice.

[jnrdoctor]

Can young children be religious? I accept teenagers and older children(perhaps over 10) can have faith but below that aren't children really just repeating what their parents have told them to believe? Clearly aggressive behaviour or repeatedly excluding a child from activities shouldn't happen for any reason but I am uncomfortable with the idea that a six year old can be labelled a believer in any religion (or in no religion) when they don't really have the capacity to understand what they supposedly believe in

[John Dale]

I have to pick up on previous comments here, and say that more information is needed to really make a judgement on what exactly is being reported here.

Bullying, for whatever reason, is of course something that we should be trying to eliminate from our schools, but I'm not convinced that it is happening as much as this article suggests.

It is in the nature of many religious people to see questioning of their claims, as offensive or disrespectful, when it is nothing of the sort. Rather it is they who have simply learned, or been taught, that that is an acceptable defence to such questioning. How much of this supposed bullying is really nothing more than a child following their elders' lead and "taking offense" when their beliefs are exposed to sceptical scrutiny?

[Ethan]

The subject, as misunderstood by a few, is not questioning religion, but bullying religion. As a teenage, homeschooled Christian, I believe discussing beliefs, philosophies, and ideals is extremely beneficial. However, bullying (implying condescension verbally or physically) someone because of their religious beliefs is immature and detrimental.

I respect others' beliefs, but I still think I'm right, and I'll politely do my best to persuade others. =D

Unfortunately, some Christians (as noted in the previous commentary) have taken a similar approach to bullying those of other beliefs. So, both sides would benefit from respecting--not tolerating, with the contemporary connotation here in the United States--the beliefs of others. As I mentioned before, respect does not exclude the possibility of dialogue on the issue of beliefs; it merely ensures a positive or productive interaction between both parties.

[marianne evans]

We may have a somewhat different situation here in the states, which is as everyone knows a very religious country compared with the UK . My teenage sons have been told they were going to Hell, that they had no morality, and threatened with physical harm because they are atheists. These threats came from Evangelical Christians, who are a kind of different group here in the US in that they perceive themselves as the only true Americans in addition to possessing the only religious truth. These same characters have also harassed Jewish and Muslim kids. Needless to say, this treatment has hardly increased my children's respect for religion, which I have tried my best to instill in them even though we don't believe in it.

[Whimsey]

I ought to point out the corollary to this, of course, which is that it's also easy to say 'oh, it's ISLAM I object to, such an intolerant, hate-filled, murderous, oppressive religion ....' which actually carries the unspoken subtext '...and Muslims are all brown....'

I sometimes wonder (worry?) whether that's why we're so sympathetic to the Albanian/Kosovan Muslims, because phew, they're WHITE Muslims (and anyway, the Serbs have been nothing but trouble ever since they started WWI....) ??????????????

[Whimsey]

I think this is far too vague - 'religous bullying' - who is bullying who? There must be some stats/ideas surely? Is it children of one faith belittling those of another faith, and if so, which faiths are the ones most likely to bully, and be bullied? Is it children of no faith who bully anyone with any faith! Or do they pick on any particular faiths to bully about?

I'm afraid I agree with Lucy - it's far more likely that our grovelling attitude towards the fatal conflation of 'race' with 'religion' means that if you happen to have a particular faith AND have brown skin then wowee, your religion gets automatic protection courtesy of your skin colour. But if you happen to be religous and oh-dearie-me 'white' then look out, anyone and everyone can take pot shots at you.

It's extremely hard to be an 'outed' Christian in this country, even as an adult. As a child, unless you are in the 'protective ring' of an active 'god squad' at school/college, you will be laughed and sneered at for being wet and pathetic and goody-goody. Being an 'outed Christian' is not cool....

Worse, if you are anything else, whether Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or Jewish, you can always play the 'culture card' as a kid - ie 'yeah, right, it's all boll***s but my mum and dad take it seriously so, drag man, but I gotta walk the walk but I don't really BELIEVE it.....'

I have found that Lucy - Ppl are very happy to take a pop at Christianity when they might think twice before making the same reamrks about another religion. I just don't talk religion with people I don't know and I refuse to get into theological arguments with most as I don't want to be preached at, either to convert or give up my faith.

[Lucy]

I haven't been what I would call bullied because of my faith (partly because I don't tell a lot of people about it, for fear that I will get bullied) but I have definitely had cruel and snide remarks about it, and people mocking me because I am a Christian. For younger or less confident children, this could definitely make them start to doubt or even resent their religion, which is SO WRONG.
I also feel what is wrong that (at least at my school) no-one would dare make racist remarks about people who have religions such as Muslim or Hindu or Sikh etc, for fear of being called racist, but no-one thinks twice before they let out a whole rant about how my religion is "a load of rubbish". I think people should think before they say things that others might find offensive, and bullying others because of their religion, WHATEVER RELIGION THIS IS, should NEVER be accepted.

[marcum]

people of faith in God, pull your children out of public schools now.

United Fellowship for Faith-based Education of Children

[Alex]

We give special treatment to religion because a person's religion represents their family, their community and in many cases, their racial background. Being bullied because of this can feel much worse for a child. Also, it's rare - children are unlikely to be aware of one another's religious persuasions until they all hit puberty and by that time, everyone tends to have more respect for one another's differences.

[aly]

i agree tolerance and respect are different. again, how does refraining from bullying tantamount respect?

refraining from denigration, and showing disrespect in a deliberate manner to alienate and put down someone is vastly different from expecting children of different ideologies to mingle and closely associate. or are you suggesting that the bullying spoken of in this post is about hurt feelings because children don't want to get along, and there's nothing seriously wrong happening, or that the bullying is grossly overstated, or that bullying in general is just a facet of life with no real consequences. or is it the contempt for the beliefs of the children that makes you turn a blind, or rather, cold eye because if such behavior leads them to renege their beliefs, then it's ok because it's good for them, that they are more worthy of your respect?

for people who think that it is good or beneficial that these kids are turning from their faiths as a result of the bullying, would it not be better for them to be convinced without fear and coercion, of their own volition? wouldn't it just be as meaningless and wrong as faith in god developed through the fear of hell and rejection?

and a final note, we can all reason within fallacies. do you ever scrutinize your own premises?

[langtonhighway]

PS I think it's "familiarity breeds contempt" not ignorance!

[langtonhighway]

Why should children of one or no religion particularly want to closely associate with followers of a different religion? I wouldn't - not if they were devout anyway! I tolerate other beliefs, but don't respect them because I don't feel they are logical or make sense. I think bullying should be treated the same no matter what the cause, but toleration shouldn't be confused with respect; you can force the former, but not the latter - it has to be earned.

[pete]

But there is one religion that will not mix with other faiths and infact hate other faiths.We all know who they are, so Beatbully stop wasting tax payers money.

[Helen]

It doesn't matter what we believe or don't believe - the subtext here is that chilldren are being bullied for their difference, and that should surely be unacceptable. And the fact that religion is often associated with a particular cultural tradition or skin colour should make it doubly unacceptable.

[aly]

since when does not tormenting others for their belief in god become special treatment?
and not everyone believes due to brainwashing, that is downright assumptive turning into insulting.
i've been just as pressured to believe in that there is no absolute morality and that the height and depth of freedom is the maximum of individual rights at college.
i found just as much brainwashing there, actually more than at any church i've been to.
what if the fairy tale is true?

[Sue]

Sally - I agree - it's an extremely good thing to make children think beyond the brainwashing. And that works both ways. 'Society' can be brainwashed into thinking that there is no God - and then what will you say to Him when you face Him? Sorry - I didn't think it was worth my time investigating whether you exist? It's the most important thing anyone can ever do - and has eternal consequences. But then many people prefer to believe in the fairy story that god is really Santa Claus who doesn't really mind what we think, say or do....

[Sally Marshall]

Why do we give special treatment to religion? Why should it be considered unacceptable to question why someone believes in fairy stories? Personally I think it an extremely good thing to make children think beyond the brainwwashing.