Applying for private school: what to say in an interview...

With private school exams coming to an end, children (and perhaps more likely, their parents) will be worrying about interviews. Vicky Tuck, principal of Cheltenham Ladies College has this advice to give.....

"In the coming weeks, your 11 or 13 year old child may face an interview for entrance to an independent senior school. This might be for a place, a bursary or a scholarship. The interview may be a general one with the head or deputy head teacher, or it might be with specialist staff – maths or English teachers, for example. Sometimes children are interviewed in a group, partly to see how they interact with their peers, often they are seen on their own. Here are a few recommendations to help your child prepare.

The first, paradoxically, is not to over-prepare your child. Schools want to have children with vitality who will be engaging to teach. A child who comes across as over-prepped can seem to lack personality and spirit. (Correction! You can prepare your child but this is something that happens over many years of parenting by fostering an enquiring mind: encouraging interests, championing reading, talking round the dinner table, visiting interesting places.)

So, while you might run through the kinds of questions that could come up about books read, instruments learnt, grades achieved, hobbies enjoyed, favourite places and career aspirations, let your child suggest his answers and don’t rehearse this too much. Above all, don’t suggest hostages to fortune – if your eleven year old is going to express concern for the environment make sure he can expand on this with a few examples. As for careers, we don’t mind girls wanting to be ballet dancers, vets or the doctor that finds a cure for cancer but there’s something vaguely troubling about the eleven year old who tells you that she has decided she wants to be a corporate lawyer. Not every child can sparkle but we want to feel that we can help her dream.

While we want personality, we don’t necessarily want signs of a future subversive. If your child is not expected to attend wearing his or her current school uniform, make sure they are wearing comfortable clothes that are clean and respectable. Head-teachers sometimes like to think they are the last guardians of decency and already have their work cut out with their current pupils in terms of hemlines and hairstyles so any experimentation with pink hair dye, ear-piercing or plunging necklines is not for the day of the interview.

You can help your child face an interview with confidence by spending a little time on language and body language. The interview will be quite a short time in which to make an impression, good or bad. Practise sitting still, making eye contact and not fidgeting. If your child has long hair plus a fringe, make sure this is not a distracting barrier to communication. Some very clever children are painfully shy. Teachers are usually adept at drawing them out especially if they can get them to talk about their favourite interest. Guide your child as to how he might just steer the conversation. Also, tell him not to be afraid to ask for clarification if he hasn’t understood the question or a particular word. This honesty will be respected.

Above all, however important you know this interview is, try not to make your child feel too burdened with expectation. Schools are good at assessing potential and who will thrive with them; they will have the current school’s report to go on plus the written papers so try to relax, perhaps curled up with a copy of ‘May Contain Nuts’ by John O’Farrell, and believe that everything will turn out for the best.

Tips for 7 year olds
Listen carefully to the question
The head-teacher might ask you if you have any questions so have a couple in mind. (It’s hard to resist being endeared to a child who asks: ‘Do you like being a headmistress or is it a bit lonely?’)

You might be asked about a book you have enjoyed reading lately. Make sure you choose one you have finished rather than one you have just begun. Be ready to talk about why you liked it. It doesn’t have to be a classic but it helps if it’s a respected children’s author.

Tips for 16 year old
Make sure you have switched off your mobile before you go into the interview.
Ask you best friend to give you a practice interview and count how often you say ‘like’ in each answer.
Exude passion in the subjects you want to study and indicate that you are able to organise yourself and your learning albeit with the right support – especially if you are going to board.

Read School Gate on:

How to pay less for a private school

What the league tables don't tell you

Do girls need girls' schools?

Should President Obama be sending his daughters to a private school?

How do you know if your private school risks closure?

Comments

[delilah]

Well said Andrew Brooke. Who's paying the fees anyway? If the school doesn't seem to like your child's social or academic personality, or promotes values that you find nauseous, you're better off not sending them there.

Anyone who has worked or been educated in the private school system knows that even the best private school has blind spots, that there are quite a lot of mediocre and even very bad private schools, and that you can't tell which is which by looking at the fees or the academic results, you need to talk to the staff, the head teacher, and see the students in a natural setting. My parents had some friends who lived on pig's heads and cut their washing sponges in half for years in order to afford fees on a very exclusive private boarding school for their (not very academic) son. Later on, they would comment that "the only contact he made was the boy he was expelled with, for drinking." In another, more recent example, a reasonably bright and well-behaved niece exited a very expensive private school with hardly any qualifications - the school's attitude to her academic problems was to threaten her with expulsion; they seemed to have no resources or sympathy at all for learning difficulties or the normal challenges of adolescence.

Of course, anyone who has spent time in secondary state education (I spent time in both) knows that there are plenty of hell-holes in the state sector too, and again you can't judge a school by its academic reputation alone. I can't think of a single state school graduate at Oxbridge who did not have permanent scars from the bullying, which focussed on their class, background, ethnicity, sex, interests, size, or anything else that marked them out as different. This sort of abuse experience seemed far less common among the private school Oxbridge set. My feeling is that, with a few exceptions (see "Mediocre Private Schools", above), paying school fees seems to be a great social leveller. A plumber's money is just as good as a barrister's - and in this economic climate, probably better.

Going back to the interview - don't choose a school on the basis of its expense, glossy buildings or brochure. Does the head teacher inspire your respect and trust? What is their philosophy for dealing with areas where children perform less well, whether behaviourally or academically? Do they seem to like and value your child for what s/he is, and emphasise how the school can help your child? Smell a rat if they treat the whole thing like a beauty contest.

[Miranda]

I'm rather bemused by the recurring assertion that private school teachers are generally not qualified. Perhaps it's not mandatory, but at my private school (no, not a top-of-the-league school), every teacher had a teaching qualification as a minimum - most of them were educated to Masters/Doctorate level, and had previous experience in state schools. Private schools are aware that they are taking part in a commercial transaction, and few are prepared to risk untrained and untested staff when charging for their services. When/If they do, I have no doubt that it's done because the candidate is exceptional, for whatever reason.

As far as the state/private debate goes... my older sister alternated, leaving our private school to return to her state school because she preferred it; I was educated privately from age 10; and my younger sisters are both state educated, one in a new Academy as she's had to move schools several times due to behavioural problems. We're all as smart as each other in completely different ways, and have completely different aims - mother, teacher, ophthalmologist and no idea because she's 14! We're very similar to one another in behaviour, accent and world view despite my older sister and I not having lived with the younger two for ten years - our schools made almost no difference there, despite the general assumption of the educational establishment that a child's very personality is shaped by their curriculum. My fiancé, on the other hand, had a horrible experience with state education, and hated school - he wants to become a teacher so that he can make a difference to that, in a small way.

In other words, all of this - attitude, education, whatever - depends on the child and the school, and not necessarily on how much money you do or don't pay.

[Gillian]

I was educated at both private and state school and out of the two I would choose private everytime.

[JM]

There seem to be astounding myths about Private schools. Since I have experience of a few in London, I would like to clarify a few points:

1. There is a surprisingly large cross-section of the population in these schools, from the extremely wealthy, through the well-off Professional middle-classes right through to Families who are struggling and making enormous sacrifices to pay the fees. It has always seemed to me that the children are happily pretty oblivious to who lives in the best house, etc, though possibly the parents are not!

2. In the senior schools, the parents are NOT interviewed. The schools are now SO obsessed with their position in the league tables that they will take the children who perform best in the entrance exams, regardless of who their parents are. This even applies to the likes of Eton these days (with the possible exception of Prince Harry). Actually I think this is a very positive step towards levelling the classes!

3. Lastly I have never come across a teacher in any London Private schools I have looked at that does not have a teaching qualification (and I always look at the list of teachers in the Prospectuses). Actually I personally am not convinced that this matters anyway. When there is a vacancy at my childrens' school, they get dozens and dozens of applications. Why - because they are teaching reasonably well behaved children with supportive (if sometimes over pushy) parents.

[Kim]

JM - lots of sympathy. I realise the state school situation in London isn't great. I'm lucky to live in a town where the state provision - at least at primary level - is excellent.

Joanna - if you can't be bothered to come up with an intelligent comment, I can't be bothered to reply to you. Try harder next time, eh?

Rachel - why do people scream elitist? Because often that's what private schools are. I don't think it's universally the case (see my response to JM) but some people eschew perfectly good state schools because they have this idea that private schools offer something better. In reality, the teaching offered by private schools is no better and often worse than that in state schools (private school teachers don't have to have teaching qualifications) so my suspicion is that many parents choose private schools on class reasons: they don't like the idea that their children will be mixing with the working classes.

[JM]

Kim
As a London Parent with school going children who is scrimping to pay private school fees (and doing without fancy holidays and living in an increasingly shabby house as a result), I can assure you that I would LOVE to send my children to a State School.

However having not tutored either of them sufficiently to get into the good State Schools like Tiffin, Wallington etc (1500 candidates for 150 places), I was faced with paying fees or sending them to Ofsted 'failing schools', which I was not prepared to do.

A friend whose son did get into Tiffin (tutored for 2 hours per day for 2 years), says she feels she has 'won the lottery'. Since I haven't, why should I have to face a barrage of criticism when I am having to cripple myself financially!! If anything, I should feel resentful of the lucky few who do win the State schools lottery.

Could someone please suggest what the solution is for us London parents (and other large Cities, I believe), other than moving to the Countryside (which many people do), rather than just criticising us all the time!!

[Rachael B]

Kim - yes, certainly there is option d, hence my opening statement, ''Perhaps some'' indicating that my categories a, b and c were not exhaustive. I did state in my longer comment that private was not necessarily better than state, that are are a number of good state and private schools, that it depends on the school itself and depends on the child and what would suit the child.

----------------------------------

General:

I just don't see why so many are so quick to scream ''elitist'' (or similar) when they see the words ''private school''. The only elitism is the illusion of it in their own beliefs.

[Pdev]

Kim I,ve got to agree with your option d. We send our kids to state govt schools here in Melb, Australia and could defintly afford expensive private schools. Many people seem horrified that we actively make this choice. The PR spun by the private sector in Australia has been extremely effective in smearing state education and aided by the Howard govt they have expanded considerably.

[joanna]

Kim, Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder love. Get over it!

[Kim]

Rachael - what about option d? "Can afford it, but regard it as a supreme waste of money, given that the local state school offers an equally good if not better education, with qualified teachers, as well as providing the opportunity to mix with children from a wider range of social backgrounds and abilities because they haven't been vetted by a gatekeeper who wants to keep out anyone who might rock the boat or who has problems that would blot the pristine record of examination passes?"

Just a thought.

[Rachael B]

Perhaps some of the people who hold so much prejudice against private schools:

a) Can't afford private schooling (you would need to be on a reasonable salary)
b) Could afford it, but can't sacrifice material goods
c) Simply don't know enough about private schooling, what sort of pupils go there and how it works

[Rachael B]

Goodness, why is everyone so petty and spiteful?

'Posh face & posh voice' Not true at all

'Seeing what the parents are like & not the kids' Is this a joke? In my experience, the school interviews the children, not the parents.

'Education is mostly about good, proactive parenting.' Indeed I would agree with this statement. In terms of school education however, perhaps some people might consider private school would be more appropriate for their child.

'A student in a state school can ace another in a private school. I've seen it happen.' Right, is this meant to be groundbreaking news? Attending a private school doesn't guarantee intelligence, work ethic, ability etc, of course some state educated children may do better than some private educated children. It is down to the individual and their upbringing, though school does play a large role too. (note: Not what TYPE of school, but the school itself, the teachers, the ethos, the facilities, the intake - whether that be state or private)

'If you're a neglectful, selfish parent... why bother spending the money?...' Why would sending your children to a private school imply that a parent was neglectful and selfish? It is a nonsensical statement to make. You could even argue that for those parents who are not particularly wealthy, who scrimp and save and take on extra jobs to send their children to a low cost private school (maybe with a bursary) that these parents are selfless and place a huge importance on education. (Not in any way to say that private is better than state, or that there are no good state schools - there are many)

Many people seem to be under the misconception that private schools are for the extremely wealthy, for the aristocracy or elitist. Perhaps there are a few examples of this, but many are not like this at all. The fees are much lower and the parents work very hard and are very careful with money and pupils receive bursaries or scholarships (for academic/sporting/musical ability). For some people, it is about making choices. They could choose to spend their money on nicer food, a bigger house, holidays, new cars, material goods - or they could cut back and sacrifice to send their children to a school (in their opinion anyway) that would give their child the best possible education in their area.

[Kim]

Oh, don't you just love it? Must have a personality, but not too much personality. Prepare your child, but on the other hand, don't over prepare your child. Read books, but don't be an introvert.

And so on. Thank the lord for the state system that takes all comers - the clever, the stupid, the shy, the subversive, the winners and the losers - and does its best with all of them.

[imsosmug]

have a posh face and a posh voice- this will guarantee a place

[Erin]

Education is mostly about good, proactive parenting. A student in a state school can ace another in a private school. I've seen it happen. If you're a neglectful, selfish parent... why bother spending the money?

[Stephen Brown]

Actually most schools when interviewing are actually seeing what the parents are like - and not the kids.

[Rachel]

Wow, I am also impressed at the vitriol and lack of focus in many of the comments. This article is _not_ about the merits of state vs private education - that's another debate guys. It merely takes as given that IF you want to send your children to private school, then interviews (at least in London) are part of the game - before going on to give some tips on how and how not to prepare. Very useful post!

[JM]

Wow - what a spiteful bunch of replies to a fairly standard 'Schoolgate' article.

As for being able to get a place at a top Private school simply by being able to afford the fees, I would be interested to know what schools are referred to. The sought after London Private schools are not showing much sign of a recession as yet and getting places is as tough as ever! Most people are pleased with all the help they can get when applying for their own children.

This isn't very different from paying thousands to have your daughter tutored for an Oxbridge interview, as was done by an emminent Egalitarian Labour Minister!!

[T. Deregowski]

What a grim little article!

And what a nauseating bunch of creeps the next generation is going to be.

Imagine the rueful day when these little shits end up in government, weilding the whip hand over us...

I'm so glad I emigrated to Brazil.

[Emilia]

Andrew Brooke - you are wrong. At age 10 I did everything I could to ruin my chances of a place at my parents first choice private school. I wanted to go to our local high school with my friends. I even went as far as telling the Head Mistress in the interview I hated her school and didn't want to go there. I ended up there anyway. That was 17 years ago when there was no shortage of families with more money than sense fighting over the places. Head Teachers will know if your child will cope at their school and prepping them is the worst thing you can do. If the first 10 years of their lives hasn't done it then cramming in a few weeks won't help much.

[Paul Mathers]

The point is that private schools quite simple ARE the preserve of the middle, aspirational, class. The whole reason to go to such schools are to so that our progeny can be inculcated with the behaviour, attitudes, goals and values that we prefer. There is nothing wrong with that, just as there is nothing wrong with working class parents preferring an "un-pretentious" broad education. Mrs Tuck's advice on preparing young ones to be curious, learn instruments, read and visit interesting places sums it up. Standard parenting in the middle class and even amongst the aspirational working class. If you don't subscribe to this type of parenting then don't bother going private. It really is hard to see what all the fuss is about.

[MKM]

Hi - Edward - there may not have been any sexist intent by the author in the references to "he" and "him". According to strict rules of grammar (at least for many years), the default is the male. Now, if you want to attack the rules of grammar in MAKING the male the default, well, that's a whole 'nother story ....

[susannah]

Why is everyone so incensed by this article. Seems perfectly sensible to me - why shouldn't parents have a choice where they send their children to school - it's like choosing between NHS and private medicine - the choice should be there. Some of the people who have commented here seem driven mad by class envy and jealousy. And as for Edward complaining about the use of the pronoun "he" - the p.c. convention now is to use "her" so it is refreshing to see the male pronoun used.

[Benny Sawyer]

I agree with PDEV. Ask only if the school curriculum covers filling in immigration forms for the US and Austalia? Espicially for rosie cheeked girls who don't want to live under British Sharia.

[Andrew Brooke]

My tip is to rebel against your parents' social aspirations: make sure your mobile phone is switched on and remember to slouch. Think of some good questions like "Couldn't you get a job in a state school where, unlike the private sector, teaching qualifications are mandatory?". You could always fizz things up by talking about a disgraceful author (Hunter S. Thompson springs to mind). Above all, remember that in the current economic downturn, the school will give you a place whatever you say or do in the interview so, above all, go and enjoy yourself.

[Pdev]

Is this article for real?? Another example of the class ridden Brits desperate for perceived private school advantage and connections. Probably a good example of why Britain is now a nation people leave. The only migration to old Blighty is Polish plumbers and tradies and migrants escaping war and poverty. The desperate shrinking upper middle class are thinking Australia, Spain, France and Canada are looking mighty fine-especially as those $$$ London city finance jobs are evaporating.

[Edward]

This may at first seem petty but if you actually think about it, it really isn't. I just don't understand why the pupil in question has to be a boy?? You write "he" and "him" when it could as easily be a girl - in fact, girls tend to be more likely to stay in school, so "she" or "her" is more appropriate. Why assume it's a boy???? It is so annoying - and this is coming from a guy! If i wrote "she" as the pronoun all the time - people would say 'why are you using 'she'? that is odd...' What? but no one complains when it is a guy...

[Goethe]

How horrible! Thank God I don't have kids!

[Richard]

The crucial words are "How much?". While competition for places may be intense at some elite public schools, the reality for most of the independent sector is that you simply have to have anough money to pay the fees, and you're in. The Credit Crunch has highlighted this, with many parents unable to afford the fees and transferring their children to the state sector. Even at the top public schools, a generous donation towards the refurbishment of the swimming pool or the First XV's next trip to Australia works wonders, and can resolve anyh doubt's about your offspring's academic ability

[Lucy w/o K]

Interview tips for seven-year-olds?! Why? And if a child of seven can enthuse about a book, why not one he's just started reading? I couldn't read at all at age seven, and I'm eternally grateful no one was idiot enough to put me through this process.