Sasha and Malia Obama: how to cope with changing schools mid-year

It's not easy starting a new school, but doing so mid-year can be more difficult than ever. Friendships have already been formed, everyone else knows how the day to day routine works, and you are quite definitely the "new kid."

This week, Sasha and Malia Obama, aged 7 and 10, started a new school, mid-year. They have all the tools to cope well - apparently supportive parents, a top school (Sidwell Friends) with much experience of famous pupils, and a grandma who has moved from her Chicago home to ensure stability in the girls' lives. But that's not to say they'll find it easy.

"Being the new kid on the block can be a real issue," says Kairen Cullen, a chartered child psychologist. "Children - and adults - want to form cohesive groups with shared histories, and those will already be formed if you join a school mid-year. It can be quite a challenge, although it does depend on the child."

Trying to find new friends and infiltrate a gang can be hard, but Kairen says it may be a little easier for the Obama girls.

"They seem to have emotional resilience and social skills, and they'll also have a kind of halo effect from being famous. That may give them unnatural access to the ready-made social groups."

What any child joining a new school needs is confidence and the knowledge that things will improve, in time. All the "getting to know each other" events that occurred at the beginning of the school year will have passed, and they will need to fit in quickly - something often easier said than done. Their arrival may cause disruption to the class, and throw up problems (with girls in particular, the issues that may arise if they befriend someone who already has a "best friend" can be huge). Children who have moved away from their home as well as their school, will be losing their friends, house, neighbours and everything familiar. It can be a scary time, and they'll definitely need reassurance from their parents.

"What any child needs is an underpinning of love, support and stability in the family," says Kairen.

Tips on how you can help, as parents:

1) Speak to the head and your child's new teacher to discuss any issues you may have.
- don't just do this once. Make sure you keep an eye on how your child is settling in.

2) Try and maintain contact with old friends, by phone, email, Facebook, whatever's best.
- your child may need to make new friends, but that doesn't mean the end of all the old ones.

3) New friendships should be encouraged, but not forced.
- don't go mad and invite a different child round every day. This should be child-led.

4) Don't expect other parents and children to welcome yours with open arms (although they may well do with the Obamas!).
- you need to make an effort too, and be friendly and welcoming. Remember, your child may also be disrupting a class by joining mid-year.

5) Try and make arrangements for your child to meet the head and teachers before actually starting school
- let them ask questions about the issues they are interested in, not just what bothers you.

6) Take your child on a tour of the school, so they understand where everything is.

7) Be patient and understanding if your child's behaviour deteriorates.

8) Don't put too much pressure on an older sibling to look out for the younger one
- it's just not fair.

9) Find out what your child may need in order to fit in.
- a particular kind of lunchbox/pencil case/trainers can help with teething problems.

10) Try to keep your routine similar to the way it was before
- for example, eat the same breakfast and watch the same TV programmes before going to school.

Read School Gate on:

Should President-elect Obama be sending his daughters to private school?

Does mixing classes ruin friendships?

What to do if your child hates school

Why the school gate can be a scary place - for you as well as your child