What to do when you have far too much work and not enough time to do it in

I have 20 things on my to do list. Most of them are adorned with Post-it notes bearing little hand-drawn sublists telling me what I need to do before I can do the to do. And all of them have deadlines that cause my heart to hit triple espresso levels if I think about them while I am trying to get to sleep.

So, naturally, I've turned to the internet for help on how to cope. Here's its suggestions:

1. Ask a stranger to do it for you. This has sort of worked for someone who has posted his or her homework on Yahoo! answers; an internet pixie has answered five of the questions before getting shirty and stomping off into the ethernet. Still, I'm not sure that I could persuade someone to write a 1,600 word report about outsourcing for me, though if anyone's feeling charitable you can contact me through this blog.
2. Work more intelligently. Complete the tasks that are needed for you to be successful at work and don't worry quite so much about anything else, says Mindtools.  Which is all very well, but what if you winnow your to do list down to the things that will get you sacked if you don't do them and it's still too much?
3. Ask a colleague to do it. Also known in the trade as delegating. Get More Done suggests handing over routine activities such as the preparation of rough drafts of reports (sounds promising) and anything that's outside my core competency. Hmm. "Hi Joe, I'm not too crash hot at this writing business, would you mind knocking together a couple of thousand words and sticking my name on the top?" Yes, that will win me a promotion, no question.
4. Create a to do list. Thanks people, done that already, not helping.
5. Stop procrastinating. Don't assume that ignoring something for long enough will make it disappear, says the University of Oregon. In my defence, I know that the only thing that ignoring my work will cause to disappear is my pay cheque, so I'm really not clinging to that life buoy. The university also wants me to get rid of distractions (what, work without the radio on? Log out of Messenger? Close Facebook? But what will I do all day instead?) and to recognise that my stress is important as everyone else's needs (er, so?).

Don't know if that advice has helped you. I hope so. And at least writing it has allowed me to cross "update blog" off my list for a day or two.