The Concise 33 Strategies of War

Books which promise bored businessmen that a firm handshake and a couple of military metaphors guarantee corporate success are popular because they suggest that there's more to office life than a balanced budget. Look here, they tell suited warriors, what you do is important; in a different age you'd be marshalling the cavalry for a final charge. Is that really so different to preparing a marketing strategy for a new type of laxative?

But what makes The Concise 33 Strategies of War different is that it promises to guide us not only at work but also in our relationships, in politics and, curiously, on the street. Oh, and the press release is endorsed by Busta Rhymes, the musician: "I felt like I had some Deep Sea scroll or some sh*t".

Well, I didn't. Or at least, not the Deep Sea scroll part of his statement.

I don't have any bones to pick with the author Robert Greene's grasp of warfare, combat strategy or anything else to do with military endeavour. His writing is clear and concise, all his quotations from famous people are handily highlighted in red and the chapters are a good length for Tube-stop reading.

It's simply that, well, I can't take any of it seriously. Are there really people out there who think of themselves as warriors? Do graduate trainees hoping for promotion think of their peers as enemies whose ranks need to be weakened? Will meditating on a porcupine (not sitting on a porcupine to meditate - thinking about one really really hard) teach a director of finance why it's a good idea to establish a frightening reputation? Can the counterbalance strategy - prepare yourself for adversity by deliberately confronting it - help a mum to find a legal, convenient parking spot when picking her children up from school?

Weirdly, reading back over that paragraph the idea seems less silly than I first thought. Maybe thinking like a man in Napoleonic battledress would help me. Maybe I'm the one who is missing a trick by failing to lure my enemies into a carefully-laid ambush.

Unfortunately, I am not quite clear who my enemies are, or indeed if I have any. On the whole I like my colleagues and, most of the time at least, they seem to like me. Although any of them reading this should keep page 136 in mind: "In general you should present a face to the world that promises the opposite of what you are actually planning. If you are getting ready to attack, seem unprepared for a fight or too comfortable and relaxed to be plotting war."

The Concise 33 Strategies of War, by Robert Greene, is published by Profile Books.