Snakes and Ladders - Times Online - WBLG

Lee calls in sick on day one

Oh dear, not auspicious: Lee McQueen has called in sick on his first day as Big Al's new apprentice.

This definitely counts as getting off on the wrong foot, for all that I am sure that his illness is genuine. (No one who had been caught lying on his CV could take the risk of creating a questionable sick note, although in most cases anyone whose stomach upset creates a long weekend is automatically looked at a little suspiciously, even if they spend the next fortnight in hospital.)

I understand the argument that sick people who come in to the office, brag about their levels of commitment and promptly infect the rest of the workforce with some disgusting disease are not actually benefiting the world.

There's no such thing as a clean slate once you've started work

I am not a fan of Lucinda (one of the unsuccessful Apprentice candidates). While I thought she had some good ideas, she was also enormously irritating and had an uncanny ability to make others want to gang up on her.

But I was intrigued at the way in which her motivation for coming on the show was analysed, both by people commenting on this blog and those within the show. There seemed to be a suggestion that, because she earned plenty of money in her previous job, she somehow wasn't serious about wanting to change course and work for Sir Alan.

Does this mean that no one is taken seriously if they try to chuck in their first, well-paying career and try a different path?

The etiquette of failure

Lee celebrated his Apprentice win by giving Claire, the loser (runner up is a meaningless term here, as in most places in the business world), a big hug. While this is perfectly acceptable in televisual terms, it's not likely to go down as well in a normal workplace.

Imagine that Claire and Lee weren't on-screen competitors but colleagues who were going for the same promotion in some everyday business. Lee gets it, Claire doesn't, meaning that he is now her boss. If you're the person in Claire's shoes you're left with a number of options:

The Apprentice: final

Welcome to the final of The Apprentice. The four remaining candidates will do battle to become Sir Alan's apprentice and earn the right to become a D- or E-listed celebrity. Sorry, that should read, a £100,000 salary.

The task for the four contenders is to launch a cologne for men. Who will come up smelling of roses . . . and who will reek of the stench of failure?

The Apprentice: it's the final countdown

With the last episode of The Apprentice due to put Lee, Alex, Claire and Helene out of their misery tomorrow night, we get to see everyone who's been kicked off in previous challenges back in the game. The four remaining contenders have been split into two teams and will be required to herd the failed cats into some sort of useful order for long enough to launch a men's cologne.

Several big questions remain:

The Apprentice: week 11

We're almost there and at last I find myself caring, at least a little bit, about the people who remain. Not in the sort of way where I'd give them my last Rolo or anything that extreme, but certainly to the extent where I am quite excited to see what happens in the interview stage tonight.

In my experience, job interviews are horrible things. An interviewer can give off so much positive body language that you're fairly sure that, even if you don't get the job, you're going to inherit their prized collection of England footballer matryoshka dolls ... then, five weeks later, they'll dismiss your application with a curt "sorry, there was someone more qualified". And you don't even get THAT much feedback unless you chain yourself to their parking space.

Anyway, keep reading for the latest updates on tonight's penultimate episode.

The Apprentice: week 10

Sir Alan's decision last week to sack Raef and stick with Michael didn't go down well in all quarters; it seems that the posh boy had a bit of a following out there, although perhaps not always for his business abilities. But it's too soon to berate the boss for his decision: remember that we're only seeing an edited version of the apprentices' capabilites, while Big Al gets a much fuller picture. Michael and Alex might have a lot more going for them than we're seeing at the moment. After all, Lucinda went from loser to leader in the space of a couple of episodes.

Keep reading to see what the remaining contenders can do when they're actually SUPPOSED to behave like car salesmen...

The Apprentice: this week on Tuesday, not Wednesday

Slight change of plan: the BBC will be showing the next episode of The Apprentice tonight, Tuesday, rather than Wednesday. I hope that no avid viewers now have to cancel dinner parties or otherwise get out of social engagements so that they can watch the latest execution.

Join me at 9 to see who gets the chop this time around. I'd tell you who I most want to go, but I can't quite decide - firing one means that the other five get to stick around longer. Pah. I vote Margaret to win.

The Apprentice: week 9

And then there were seven. Can it really be nine weeks since the candidates first bragged their way on to our screens, selling lobster for £4.90 and arguing whether whitebait was a haddock?

So, tissues. Not the most inspiring product to come up with an advertising campaign for, granted. But, what they lack in common sense they make up for in bitchiness, and what better way to unleash the full extent of the loathing than a brainstorming task?

Apprentice fan pays for her addiction

Much as it pains me to point you towards a competitor but this story is a wake up call for any hardened Apprentice fans who are considering downloading the programme on to their computers.

A British lawyer, holidaying in France, downloaded several TV programmes including her favourite, The Apprentice, via the BBC's iPlayer service using her 3G card. Her mobile company subsequently charged her £4,900 for her viewing pleasure. Ironically she could have used her hotel's wi-fi service for just 15 euros a day.

As Sir A would say: "bladdy ridiculous".

Save yourself the money and read our Apprentice Blog here.