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Can't get to the game but don't want to miss a thing? Perhaps you're one of the poor unfortunates who's stuck behind a desk at the weekend with no telly?
Don't worry, here is the answer.
We will bring every goal and goalscorer to you as soon as the ball hits the back of the net. Well, almost. Feel the tension, follow the goals and then watch them with our highlights package from midnight on Sunday.
Keep refreshing the page for the very latest Premier League and FA Cup goal action.
11min: FA Cup) YELLOW CARD! Papa Bouba Diop (Portsmouth) booked for foul on Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd)
20min: YELLOW CARD! Wayne Rooney (Man Utd) booked for rash challenge
39min: YELLOW CARD! Lassana Diarra (Portsmouth) booked for clumsy challenge on Ronaldo (Man Utd)
HT (FA Cup) Manchester United 0 Portsmouth 0
76min: OFF! Tomasz Kuszczak (Man Utd), who came on for the injured Edwin van der Sar at half-time, is sent off for a professional foul after bringing down Milan Baros (Portsmouth)
78min: GOAL! Man Utd 0 Portsmouth 1- Sulley Muntari (Portsmouth) converts penalty past Rio Ferdinand, Manchester United's third goalkeeper of the match
90min (+3.20): Sir Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, performs GBH on his chewing gum as time runs out
FT (FA Cup) Manchester United 0 Portsmouth 1
18min: (PL) YELLOW CARD! Didi Hamann (Man City) booked for unsporting behaviour after foul on Stephen Hunt (Reading)
25min: (PL) YELLOW CARD! John Arne Riise (Liverpool) booked for unsporting behaviour after foul on James Milner
43min: GOAL! Liverpool 1 Newcastle 0 - Jermaine Pennant (Liverpool) scores his first goal in more than a year when Jose Enrique's attempted clearance rebound's off the winger from close range and over Steve Harper into the Newcastle net
45min: GOAL! Liverpool 2 Newcastle 0 - Fernando Torres (Liverpool) hit his 19th Premier League goal of the season with a close-range shot after being released by Steven Gerrard's pass and dummying Newcastle keeper Steve Harper
45min: (PL) YELLOW CARD! Tugay Kerimoglu (Blackburn) booked for unsporting behaviour after a foul on Jimmy Bullard (Fulham)
45min: YELLOW CARD! Michael Johnson (Man City) booked for unsporting behaviour
HT (PL) Liverpool 2 Newcastle 0
HT (PL) Reading 0 Man City 0
HT (PL) Blackburn 0 Fulham 0
Attendance: Blackburn 20,362
51min: GOAL! Liverpool 3 Newcastle 0 - Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) adds a third with an 18-yard shot from Fernando Torres's pass
59min: GOAL! Blackburn 1 Fulham 0 - Morten Gamst Pedersen (Blackburn) heads in Jason Roberts's cross from 12 yards
Attendance: Liverpool 44,031
62min: GOAL! Reading 1 Man City 0 - Shane Long (Reading) fires in from 12 yards after Kevin Doyle's pass
69min: YELLOW CARD! Stephen Warnock (Blackburn) booked for unsporting behaviour after foul on Jimmy Bullard (Fulham)
Attendance: Reading 24,062
82min: YELLOW CARD! Paul Stalteri (Fulham) booked for unsporting behaviour after a foul on Jason Roberts (Blackburn)
88min: GOAL! Reading 2 Man City 0 - Dave Kitson (Reading) hits the home side's second from 12 yards as they prepare to move out of the relegation zone
89min: GOAL! Blackburn 1 Fulham 1 - Jimmy Bullard (Fulham) fires in Paul Konchesky's free kick, after Blackburn's Christopher Samba fouled Eddie Johnson, for a precious equaliser for struggling Fulham
90min: YELLOW CARD! Brian McBride (Fulham) booked for not retreating 10 yards after Morten Gamst Pedersen (Blackburn) had fouled Fulham's David Healy
FT (PL) Liverpool 3 Newcastle 0
FT (PL) Blackburn 1 Fulham 1
FT (PL) Reading 2 Manchester City 0
HT (FA Cup) Barnsley 0 Chelsea 0
54min: YELLOW CARD! Robert Kozluk (Barnsley) booked for a foul on Chelsea's Joe Cole
Attendance: Barnsley 22,410
66min: GOAL! Barnsley 1 Chelsea 0 - Kayode Odejayi leaps high above Carlo Cudicini, the Chelsea keeper, to head Barnsley into a shock lead against the run of play. Martin Devaney's cross from the right was perfect for the tall Nigerian forward to score only his second goal of the season from close range
90min: YELLOW CARD! Ricardo Carvalho (Chelsea) booked for unsporting behaviour after a foul on Brian Howard
FT (FA Cup) Barnsley 1 Chelsea 0