They do say the funniest things at London Fashion Week

1. Waiting in line for the Marios Schwab show:

Thin Waif 1: "Have you had any breakfast yet?"

Thin Waif 2: "I had a cereal bar"

Thin Waif 1: "Yeah, I had half a cereal bar"

2. At the coatcheck for the Vanity Fair/Michael Roberts' book launch party:

Glossy Conde Nast sloany pony: "Can you make sure the sellotape doesn't go anywhere near the leather of the bag"

3. In the toilets at the Boombox party: Drag queen to his fag hag friend: "You'll tell me if I flash my gusset, won't you?"

4. Outside the Luella party at Claridges, Brook St

Bewildered, middle-of-the-road Joe Public: "What a bunch of queer folk!"

5. At the Browns/Camilla Morton book launch party

The 90-year-old Mr Burstein (wife of Browns' grand dame Mrs B): "I hate the party. I'm a child of nature. I can't stand all this music [Gareth Pugh was on the decks]"