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Russkis on Skis

The ski slopes may have all but shut up shop for the season, but outrageous rumours of Russian decadence in Europe's most prestigious winter resorts endure. Forget helicopter drop-offs to Megeve's Michelin-starred restaurants and Kobe beef and vintage Krug picnics on the piste, Russian tastes seem to be somewhat less snowwhite, if the seasonaires - those who attend to the scandalous demands and bear witness to the mischief - are to be believed.

In Moscow, oligarchs assert their status by the number of body guards around them. On the slopes apparently, they do it with ski instructors - one recently apparently hired five instructors simultaneously just for himself. And if you have the skiing prowess of a dyspraxic baby giraffe? Simply hire out the entire slope and the sniggers just won't be close enough to hear.

I recently visited a deluxe Descent Chalet in Davos, Switzerland (the mother town to Prince Charles ' favourite resort, Klosters) - a favourite of the Russians. Its swimming pool room, complete with Jacuzzi, waterfall and giant jet stream, is secretly overlooked by a webcam. 'Does the view ever get x-rated?' I ask the chalet staff, who monitor activities. 'Only when the Russians stay' (well frankly, shame on the rest of Europe).

One waitress told of serving up the main course in one tres cher chalet only to hear a rapid knocking on the dining table. The cause? Only one of the oligarchs  being 'serviced' under the table by his attractive 'student friend' (read: prostitute) in between courses.

Talk about filthy rich.

Jay-Z and Beyonce in a frozen pickle

A rather breathless fashion correspondent just tripped into the Style office with gossip just spilling forth... Follow closely!

"So Jay-Z and Beyonce are at the Versace menswear show in Milan, right... because Jay-Z wants to tie a deal with Versace and his label Rocawear. Armani find out and naturally they're furious because of course Beyonce is the face of the fragrance Emporio Armani Diamonds. So they had to extend their trip to hang around and pacify Armani. Only problem was that by the time the bling twins were ready to leave, Milan just happens to be chucking out the worst weather in the world ever. So their flight back to the States has to be diverted to Iceland. Cue two panicstricken popstars on the phone to Armani's top dog, screaming,"We're stuck in the Ice Lands. Do something!" We thought they digged a bit of ice.

picture source

Giles shops

So im running to my next press day and spot Giles Deacon coming out the Ipod shop on Regent Street, so I stop running and try to walk coolly but then we make eye contact and I nearly fall over.  He's now taking the padlock off his bike, its nothing too special not what I'd expect a hot fashion designer to have.  And why is he doing his own shopping? it's just too real, shouldn't some-one do that sort of thing for him?  What's worse, no-one recognised him and I felt someone should have.  So why didn't you go up to him? I hear you say. Simple, I just didn't want to be another fashion groupie. Anyway by this time I'd missed my turning and lost my bearings and had other things to worry about.

Pete Burns' tricky moment at Fashion Rocks

Poor Pete Burns. The Dead or Alive singer and his husband, Michael Simpson, put on an excellent show for the assembled company last night at the Royal Albert Hall. Not on stage, but in the stalls where, just as the lights went down for Roisin Murphy and Gucci, the loving couple found themselves walking down the wrong set of stairs and unable to reach their section of the stalls. As eyes swivelled in their direction, and in full view of the tv cameras, Simpson tried to drag his surgically-enhanced husband back up the stairs, but Burns was having none of it and stood his ground, shrugging off Simpson and looking around wildly for his seat. As Simpson pulled and Burns resisted, for a moment it looked as if it might be handbags at dawn. A painful three further minutes of wrestling ensued before Burns stroppily conceded and followed his lover back up the stairs. Ouch.   

Peaches' Street Cred Plummets Shocker

How to lose your street cred in three easy step:

1. Simply accept a 'money' gig to DJ at an 'exclusive' (read: empty) corporate party. In this instance, held by BT at the Tate Modern, to launch its new wifi community - an exemplary choice of parties for all the jargon (routers, broadband, bandwidth, etc) floating around the room.

2. Fill with lots of suits, and seduce them with posh, glamorous cocktails.

3. Get them plastered so that said suits perform David Brent-style dance moves. Oh they already were - probably intoxicated by all the jargon in the air.

See?! All a bit embarrassing, really. Hope the fee was worth it, dear Peaches.

See celebs looking 'normal' on Planet Hiltron.

Favourite website of the day goes to www.planethiltron.com.  Their pictures of celebrities faces photoshopped onto 'civilian' bodies (can't you hear Liz Hurley gasping with horror) just go to show, we're all only a stylist, trainer, hairdresser, make-up artist, manager, agent, primper, preener, crimper and private chef away from looking as good as the rich n famous.

Check out Dave and Vicky Beckham.  Oh, what might have been...

Other favourites:

Gwyneth Paltrow

Anna Wintour

Jennifer Aniston

Catherine Zeta Jones

John Travolta

Nicole Kidman

Celebrity cringe

From a little birdie back page at Prince's final show on Friday: "Imagine this: it was Matthew Williamson, Amy Winehouse, Faye Dunaway, Prince and Naomi Campbell all sitting back stage. There was total silence - no one knew what to say to each other. Well they wouldn't, would they? Amy was just jittering, Matthew sat next to Prince, leaned over and touched him to say "Thank you for playing my show", and Prince jumped back - "Don't touch me!"" The weirdness doesn't end there. As hundreds of Prince fans and VIPs waited for the after show party to start, (3 hours, they waited), Prince was back stage charging in and out of rooms, hiding behind pillars, playing hide and seek with The Twinz, like a 7 year old boy. He is in fact 49.

The truth behind Amy Winehouse's perfect man

Not many people know Amy Winehouse as well as her hair stylist, Alex. The 25 year old ex-John Frieda hairdresser has number one responsibility for the state of Amy's barnet, and that includes when the two are partying together, which they do on a not-infrequent basis. Amy missed Alex's healing hairspray so much when she checked into rehab last month that a few days in, she invited Alex to stay there with her. "I was thinking, could she possibly care about her hair in rehab?" said Alex, with a sly grin, when Little Madam met him at a posh dinner a young socialite threw last Thursday for the launch of a new clothing line "Then I realised, nah, obviously not. It was because she was already thinking of checking out."  Alex, who shares Amy's very black sense of humour (you don't want to know) had been half-expecting the chanteuse to turn up to dinner that night but admitted that the chances were low given the exceedingly heavy night Amy had had at the Mobos the evening before. I left him chatting to another very good friend in the corner of the dining room, where he remained until four thirty the following morning. Amy would've been proud.

How do you guarantee as much publicity for your fashion show as possible? Get Naomi Campbell to organise it and throw Fergie and some Big Brother contestants into the mix.

How do you guarantee as much publicity for your fashion show as possible?

Simple - you invite everyone from Hollywood actresses to royalty to Big Brother losers and footballers to take part.

Spotted backstage at Naomi Campbell's Fashion for Relief show....

1. Big Brother twins Sam and Amanda demanding snap shots of themselves with the full time models.

2. Faye Dunaway in an old ladyish headscarf doing a double take when Boy George came over to say hello. Doesn't she know who he is?

3. All Saints Melanie Blatt getting nervous and saying 'I want to go home'.

4. Lily Donaldson looking impossibly beautiful and wangling backstage access for her friend before loading up on the double vodka and cokes at the bar.

5. A delightfully charming Amerie directing her hair stylist Fabio as to exactly where the face-framing tendrils he was tonging should fall.

6. Lizzy Jagger requesting big hair - as if her thick waist-length mane could be much else.

7. Jasmine Guiness complaining about the amount of time her rollers have been left in - "My hair's gonna look like an afro if its left much longer."

HOW MATTHEW WILLIAMSON GOT PRINCE AT HIS SHOW

So how do you think Matthew Williamson landed the capital's biggest resident pop star to play at his home coming show? Did he write him a big fat cheque? Did he offer him unlimited clothes, women, slebrities, perks, anything-he-wants for life? Did he sleep with him?

No to all of the above. Actually - Prince asked Matthew if he could be at his show. Yep. Here it is from someone who is extremely close to the horse's mouth: "Sunday night we get a call from his people saying he wants to come. Turns out his new muse, Chelsea, is a big fan of Matthew's and wants to be at his show. We're delighted, and clear the front row. next day we get a call - Prince would actually like to PLAY at the show. At this point we're dying with excitement, and re-organise everything accordingly. Tuesday night Matthew goes to the couture dinner at the V and A, spots Prince and goes over to introduce himself. "Hi," he says, "I hear you're playing at my show tomorrow?" Prince looks him up and down. "Maybe" he says, and struts off. Matthew panics, calls everyone at midnight - they all panic. We didn't actually know if it was going to happen until he turned up on the day. And we didn't even think he was going to sing - especially when he sat down on the front row."

As we know it all ended happily ever after - for Prince too. So successful was the hair-raising performance that the Little Oh-So-Sexy One is going to use the footage in his next video. Frock-tastic.

What a bitch!

Which socialista about town, when asked why he wasn't at the Isabella Blow memorial service, responded: "God, if she hadn't killed herself, I'd have taken out a gun and shot her myself!" Lovely, these fashion people...