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Forget Mourinho! Euro 2008 is home to the world's sexiest men in suits

Mr Germany [Joachhim Low]

Euro 2008 without England is essential viewing. No beer guts in the crowd, no men in tears and no sight of the receding hairline and florid cheeks of ex England gaffer Steve McClaren. The totty in the dugout this summer is unprecedented in its quality. Why mourn the loss of Becks, Lamps, Stevie G et al when you can salivate over Dutch manager Marco van Basten, Germany's Joachim Low and Italy's Roberto Donadoni?

The trio are all suitably on trend - van Basten's number three cut, Low's white shirt / black trews n belt combo and Donadoni's curiously attractive goatee being particular highlights. It seems as if they are all competing for victory in the sartorial stakes rather than the tournament. On Monday night, the Holland boss was dapper and victorious in suit sans tie whilst the Italian manager donned a jacket and tie in defeat. Who would have thought that Europe's finest football managers are all closet fashionistas?

Even our nemesis, Croatia (my dark horse for the tournament), are led by the rugged, smouldering 6ft 2 Slaven Bilic (above). His don't-mess-with-me build, tattooed body and boxer's jaw mean that we can't demonise him for long. Bilic's ear-ring may be a glaring faux pas for some but I think he has the brute manliness to carry it off. Cashley Cole wearing a diamond stud in his ear, for instance, is a walking advert for the death of bling whereas Slaven's silver hoop embodies Johnny Depp's Pirates of the Caribbean swagger. And the Croat smokes too...

The elegance of Fabio Capello, the latest to acquire the poisoned chalice of the England job, looks to be the best indication of progress to come. His Zerorh glasses and penchant for Armani suits are a marked improvement on the umbrella wielding McClaren.

Tune into Holland vs France on BBC1 tonight to check out my personal favourite, Marco vB (below), prowling along the touchline...

Or enjoy gazing upon our grey locked Italian stallion from 17.00 on ITV1 this afternoon. Romania be afraid, be very afraid...

Mr Italy [Roberto Donadoni]

[Images: http://www.as.com, www.index.hr, http://afp.google.com,  http://it.eurosport.yahoo.com/]

Heartsease magic water?

Of course we at Style don't believe in magic. We just aim to report facts objectively....

So there I was, moodily sipping Heartsease mineral water - a watery-tasting water from the forests of Wales - in a bar when I was really too cantankerous to be out and about and polluting the good times. I had heart-ache. In my self-pity, I resorted to reading the label of said water.... "The Heartsease spring is named after the heartsease pansy. Folklore has it that the flower has special properties which can mend a broken heart... "

Suddenly I was interrupted by someone who looked just like Bobby from Twin Peaks. Hello stranger! Then a French homme chased me into the night - I gave him the slip, but I wondered... Magic? The psychology of placebo? or just a very attractive accessory to swing about in a bar? That it looked like I was swigging neat vodka straight from the bottle must have helped.