It's a dog's life - but will Bilbo be back?

I posted recently about Bilbo. I'd like to see him back on the beach, and if you agree, add some comments to this typically trenchant piece by Alf Alderson.

As a dog owner it saddens me that a fine and honourable hound like Bilbo should be barred from his calling.

It saddens me still further that an august body like the RNLI should have made this decision, for now one of the most popular charities in Britain is being made to look rather ridiculous by its actions.

But it’s not just the RNLI which has a thing about dogs. As anyone who lives close to a Blue Flag beach will know, once that flag is raised above said beach man’s best friend is banned from setting paw upon sand until the tourist season is over (good on Penwith District Council for allowing dogs on the beach morning and evening – here in Pembrokeshire you and your dog will be shot by snipers hiding in the dunes if you venture anywhere near the beach between May and October).

Ostensibly this dog ban is to prevent humans and dog shit coming into close contact, and nothing wrong with that, but tell me, just how much dog-doo can be seen plastered across the foreshore on, for instance, non-Blue Flag beaches, where dogs can defecate with gay abandon as and when they wish?

People make an almighty fuss about this issue when it’s probably less of a problem on beaches than any other public place you care to mention. For a start the beach gets thoroughly cleaned by the tide twice a day anyway (and please don’t tell me that a few dried up dog turds cause a pollution problem…).

As someone who strolls along one beach or another virtually every day of the year I can't remember the last time I put my foot into the remnants of some hound’s breakfast, although I’ve regularly trodden in patches of oil and gone on to smear it all over my board and wetsuit – now that’s a real pollution problem.

Somehow it seems that the people who get so incensed by the issue of beaches and dog shit are forever wading through the stuff. Do they go around looking for it? I know dog shit can cause blindness if you inadvertently scoop up a handful and then poke it in your eyes, but does anyone actually know of an individual who has suffered this fate? It always seems to be the trump card played by those who would see dogs banned from all public places.

And what about horses? If you want to see a huge pile of shit these are the fellas to check out, yet no one seems to get over-excited about them dumping small mountains of steaming manure along country lanes and bridleways – and, in some cases, beaches.

So let’s just put all this nonsense about dogs on beaches into perspective. The bottom line on dog bans, it seems to me, is that your beach won’t get a Blue Flag if it has dogs scampering around upon it, and no Blue Flag = less tourists and less tourists = less tourist dollars. And there you have it – it’s all about money.

This is clearly not the specific reason the RNLI has banned Bilbo from Sennen Cove, but I assume it's a factor. The local council, for its part, is understandably keen to have as many Blue Flag beaches in the area as possible.

The RNLI also claims, apparently, that Bilbo would fail his resuscitation test – but there’s not much use being able to resuscitate someone if you can’t get them out of the water in the first place. This is something Bilbo can do admirably. After which would it be beyond the wit of the RNLI to consider that a human could step in and administer resuscitation if required?

It’s a damn shame. Of all the four legged creatures that walk the earth none has such a symbiotic relationship with humans as the dog, and with Bilbo you see it at its finest – a hound protecting humans from their own stupidity and incompetence and expecting absolutely nothing in return other than food, water and affection.

We’d probably be far better off banning humans from the beach than dogs – after all, look at the mess we make of them…

Alf Alderson's Surf UK and Surfing: A Beginner's Guide have just been republished. Click on the links for more info.

Comments

[Tuber]

Nice story. Did you check out the old-school goofywear?

[Dave]

Bilbo's clearly too clever to be a lifeguard, lets get him into politics and working on banning people from beaches. Woof!

[dick]

If a dog resembles its owner, and its owner, in time, becomes like his dog, are Jamo and Bilbo both banned from the beach? Are they, in fact, one and the same person/dog? Either way, bring em back!

[Kernow Pete]

Maybe life is so idyllic in the back waters where you live that dogs never foul beaches, but here in Cornwall it certainly is a big problem. Did you actually do any travelling when you wrote your book? If you did you'd have seen dog shit strewn across dunes and paths at places like Godrevy and Gwithian. Some owners even put the stuff in bags, and then throw it in the dunes!! Great, then it can't even biodegrade. As a supporter of SAS I can't believe you're actually proposing letting all those dogs on the beach, in the middle of summer, when they're at their busiest, kids digging in the sand - you see the scenario? I'm sorry you don't get unrestricted access to any beach you want, but maybe if dog owners picked up after their dogs, we wouldn't have to tip toe down through a minefield of dog mess to get onto the beach.
And you attacked surfers for not supporting SAS, who want to keep our beaches clean!!!!! You think that this is linked with blue flags and money? You should see how busy beaches here get anyway. I have to say I'm pretty stunned by your stand.

[Alf Alderson]

Did I travel when I wrote my book, Pete? Of course not, I just sit at home and get all the info off Google!

And I don't surf and don't own a dog either...

Just joshing mate, clearly it's more of a problem in Cornwall than here in my 'idyllic backwater'.

My apologies. Please feel free to shoot all dogs and their owners down Kernow way...

[Olly Brand]

Comes down to a few inconsiderate owners ruining it for the rest of us! If only we could hire snipers to shoot owners that leave dog shit on beaches in potential places it could have an affect on peoples lives. Therefore allowing man's best friend to roam free on blue flag beaches.

Perhaps beaches could hire my Nan and her gang! Nan(circa 5ft and 39 for the 41st time), returning from shopping, caught a man letting his dog crap at the bottom of our drive and walking off! She cornered the tourist/DFL (over 6ft) and caused him so much fear and embarrassment he went back and scooped the crap up with his hand and carried it down the road.