Ahead of the Game

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The news in 60 seconds

McCLAREN SPINS US RIGHT ROUND
Sol Campbell may have the turning circle of a small supertanker, but at least the England head coach can complete a nimble about-turn. Flushed with the success of David Beckham's return against mighty Estonia, forward-thinking Steve McClaren has gone back to the future by sounding out Big Sol and David Calamity James for a recall. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2211277.ece

ARGY BARGY
Even if Liverpool don't get their man, Gabriel Heinze can have the keys to the city. The Argentina defender showed his liking for a tasty challenge by walking into Sir Alex Ferguson's hairdryer and barely flinching - enough to earn the undying love of any true Scouser. He is taking his case to a Premier League arbitration panel. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premiership/manchester_united/article2214135.ece

BRIDGE OF SIGHS FOR BALLACK
Michael Ballack is "totally committed" to Chelsea and has turned down a move to Real Madrid. This could come as a shock to fans who watched the lacklustre star stroll around last season. He is also still "totally injured", so fans are unlikely to be "totally bothered".
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premiership/chelsea/article2211151.ece

NO LAUGHING MATTER
Far be it for Ahead of the Game to make light of a professional footballer's plight, especially when it has been ordered to keep a straight face. Instead, it reports with sympathy that Leroy Lita may miss Reading's first match of the season after damaging a muscle in bed. "He woke up and stretched while in bed and he has done something to his leg," Steve Coppell said. "It is not an injury that should be ridiculed or made light of." No laughter please, he's hurt.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premiership/reading/article2215565.ece

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* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame

If you've got another couple of minutes

FIFA DIVES FOR COVER
Martin Samuel, our new Chief Football Correspondent, has opened a box of frogs with his debate about Fifa's woeful (non)attempts to stop diving. Readers have been venting their spleen at its cheats' charter. Suggestion of the day goes to Gilbert Gray, who wants an annual DVD made of the most theatrical tumbles, with proceeds going to the lower leagues. Add your voice to the debate
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/08/the-debate-fifa.html

THE WRATH OF FERGIE
In case anyone was wondering what Heinze had to put up with, Norman Whiteside gives a taste of Fergie's fury in our serialisation of his booze-soaked autobiography. Caught out on the tiles, Whiteside gets carpeted ... before being frogmarched three miles back to the hotel.
"I fundamentally disagreed with his view that drinking was harming my football," he said. His philosophy: win or lose, out on the booze. Apparently the manager was less impressed...
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premiership/manchester_united/article2210967.ece

25,000

The number of fans who strained a muscle laughing at the news of Lita's injury. (Unofficial)

A quickie before you go, sir?

FIGHTING SPIRIT
Steven Gerrard is caught on camera happy slapping as Liverpool wield their handbags against Feyenoord. Ahead of the Game thinks it looks like a punch, but make up your own mind. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_zm5WjvnsU

POETRY IN MOTION
Pre-season is a time of romantic optimism, so why not wax lyrical with some footballing verse. It is the beautiful game after all...
http://www.footballpoets.org/

>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* KO'd Becks under fire from Galaxy fans - The Sun
* Dyer deal still on for Hammers - Daily Express
* Robben dad hopeful of Real deal - sportinglife.com

The transfer wrap

Arjen Robben could be on the way to Real Madrid but Michael Ballack will be staying at Chelsea... Sven-Goran Eriksson has joined the queue to sign Hearts goalkeeper Craig Gordon, but he may move for Chelsea's Carlo Cudicini, Liverpool's Scott Carson, Livorno's Marco Amelia or anyone else in gloves. He is also on the verge of signing Australian midfielder Mark Bresciano from Palermo for £4m... Spurs are hoping to gazump Aston Villa's £7m bid for Curtis Davies with a £5m offer plus Wayne Routledge... Fulham are expected to complete the signing of Hameur Bouazza from Watford for £3.5m... Francis Jeffers will continue his travels around England when he signs for Sheffield Wednesday for about £600,000... Bolton Wanderers have rejected a £500,000 offer from West Brom for Ricardo Vaz Te... Wigan are hoping to revive a deal to bring West Brom defender Paul Robinson to the JJB Stadium after Leighton Baines' transfer to Everton.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2207728.ece

>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
* Rio Ferdinand came within two minutes of having his vintage Aston Martin crushed. A traffic warden spotted the centre back had been driving illegally for 13 months with an out-of-date tax disc when issuing a ticket for Rio's illegally parked motor - Daily Star

What you need to know 1) Renewing the tax disc would have cost the £100,000-a-week United player about £160. 2) He got back two minutes before the tow truck turned up and scarpered. 3) The fixed parking fine is £40. 5) The car in question is a 1986 V8 Vantage, for which he paid about £65,000. 6) We're sure the authorities know where he lives.

Tomorrow's news today

- Another delay in the Carlos Tevez saga as Gabriel Heinze steps up his efforts to leave Manchester United
- Our club-by-club guide to watching your team next season
- All you need to know about Coca-Cola League Two in our pre-season preview
- Gary Jacob has the definitive line on all the transfer news

And expect...

News that Lily Allen's US visa has been rejected forces McClaren to cancel his trip across the pond. After all, it's hardly worth going all that way just to watch Becks play some third division football...

Anonymous tips, suggestions, funnies, fan mail and complaints: aheadofthegame@thetimes.co.uk