Put a sock in it, Cheryl

“I find what all footballers get paid obscene.”

You’ve heard it, you’ve probably said it. When fans had to pay £45 to get into St Andrew’s on Saturday to watch Birmingham City play Manchester United — it’s £15 when Bolton Wanderers visit — they were probably thinking it.

It’s the knee-jerk reaction of most fans. The quote above comes from Cheryl Tweedy, who is married to Ashley Cole. When a wife complains that her spouse is being paid too much, surely that’s an indication that things have gone too far? It’s a sign that the world’s turned upside down, right?

And when even your wife is adding to your reputation as the poster boy for greed — Cole, you remember, nearly crashed his car when told that Arsenal would pay him only £55,000 a week, five grand less than he wanted — it’s case closed, no more argument, the greedy bastards are overpaid.

So, where would you have the money that’s being pumped into football go? Back to Arsenal? Turnover in the same ballpark as Real Madrid, nearly £74 million in the bank and share prices rocketing through the roof> Trim back the greedy players’ pay cheques and what? Make the directors richer? Make a happy man of Alisher Usmanov, the Russian billionaire trying to buy up Arsenal shares?

You’re a woman of strong opinions, Cheryl. What would you do with the money you’d save if you cut those “obscene” wages? And while you’re at it, explain to us all why no one resents the money that pop stars make. Especially those who take the short cut to fame on a television show, barely write their own material and rely on the good offices of stylists and producers to spin their talent and pick-any-girl-off-the-street looks into something that can be packaged and sold to the most undiscriminating of audiences.

I would love to know.

Not every club can be a successful — and well run - as Arsenal. But, these days, no Premier League club has the need to overstretch themselves to “live the dream”, like Leeds United did five years ago. The revenue from television is so massive that even those clubs with relatively small catchment areas can afford to live quite comfortably and pay the players the going rate. It does suit them, however, to shift the blame for gouging the supporters to the players.

For example, Manchester United did not need to introduce their Automatic Cup Scheme - which forces season-ticket holders to pay for seats in the cup competitions or potentially lose their season-tickers - to pay Cristiano Ronaldo’s wages. No, it is to make sure that the Glazers can service the club’s debt and make a healthy profit. It targets the most loyal fans by playing on their loyalty. The threat lurking in the background is that there’s always someone else who’ll be willing to pay the price and replace you if you don’t fall into line. It is morally reprehensible - but fantastic business, if you’re that way inclined.

It’s the mixed message clubs like United - and Liverpool and Arsenal - send out. Come support us, but if you don’t toe the line there’s plenty to replace you.

But instead of being angry with the club, they’d prefer you to agree with Cheryl.

Yes, the economics of the game deserve to be analysed - there’s something of the South Sea Bubble evoked by football at the moment - but not in the simplistic, white-van man style of resenting the players’ wages.

Look at it in the plainest terms. Chelsea beat Manchester United in the FA Cup final at Wembley in May. Millions around the world watched the game and millions of pounds were generated by the event. Where do you want the money to go? To Roman Abramovich and the Glazer family or the players who actually draw the crowds and the television audiences?

If anything, as Arsenal’s financial figures show, the players are underpaid, compared to the profits sloshing about the game. And they’ll be lucky if the make the big bucks for more than ten years, while the men in the boardroom - assuming there is no crash on the horizon - will continue to rake in the cash for decades.

And when Girls Aloud’s career has finished and the teenyboppers have grown old enough to be embarrassed by their record collections, we’ll still be watching and enjoying videos of the overpaid players of today. Still gasping at Ronaldo’s tricks, Gerrard's shooting, Owen’s goals. So in future, keep your mouth shut Cheryl, except when you’re singing. On second thoughts, just keep your mouth shut.

Comments

[Abby]

Woah. Did Cheryl Tweedy insult your outfit or something? What's with the vitriol directed towards her when it's "the knee-jerk reaction of most fans?"

[David Birch]

While I agree the players are fantastic and do generate a worldwide audience, when you earn as much as they do what difference does being on £50K a week or £100K a week make? To quote the loathsome Robbie Savage, "After three years on Premiership wages you're set for life"!

Premiership games are prohibitively expensive for most families to attend so why not make it free entry for each child who is accompanied by a full paying adult? Or how about a ticket lottery where each home game one ticket holder wins the average weekly wage of the home team on the pitch.

If the clubs continue to fill their stadia with corporate hospitality who will support the clubs when they need it most?

[robert]

How about reducing ticket prices to European levels? Not fun for Chinese viewers to watch half-full stadiums with no atmosphere.