Hi, it's Steve here. Are you busy next Saturday?

A media release arrives: "Voice broadcasting leader Relay Station announces that Steve Bruce, manager of Wigan Athletic, will call 10,000 season ticket holders this week on their mobiles and landlines and ask them to be sure to attend the home FA Cup clash with Chelsea FC on 26th January 2008."

Well, there was me thinking that maybe management isn't so hard after all, what with Bruce having so much time on his hands. Calling 10,000 people? It'll take ages. Remember that 1990s BT advert with Kenny Dalglish where he calls up the Newcastle crowd one by one and thanks them for their support? It's really happening!

Sadly, and more prosaically, it turns out that Bruce has recorded a single message that will be sent automatically. The club provide a list of fans' telephone numbers to the company and they do the rest.

Yes, Bruce has become the football equivalent of those ultra-annoying call-centre workers who ring you up when you're making dinner and ask if you own your own home or what the interest rate on your credit card is. As if your football club doesn't occupy enough of your time already, they're now invading your privacy in a shamelessly desperate plea for your mone- sorry, your support.

When the phone trills, what a crushing disappointment it must be to realise after a few seconds of initial intrigue that you're not actually going to have a two-way conversation with the Wigan gaffer.

Anyway, are Wigan's season-ticket holders unusually forgetful? Is it likely to slip their mind that Wigan have a game against Chelsea in a couple of days?

Perhaps Wigan could use the technology for more commendable purposes than intrusive marketing. How about a phone call from Bruce to the fans if Wigan are spanked by Chelsea? "Hi, it's Steve Bruce here. I'd just like to apologise to you personally because we were absolute rubbish yesterday. Now press 1 if you think I should be sacked..."