Ten reasons to be fearful about the FA Cup Final

1 We’re loving the novelty factor of these participants right now, but if it’s a bad game, people will say: "Well, that’s what happens when the best teams aren’t there."

2 Remember the tedium that was Millwall versus Manchester United, the last time a Premier League club faced a side from a division below? The most one-sided contest since (insert any recent Derby County match here).

3 The novelty and thrill of the trip to Wembley is devalued as both clubs were there for the semi-finals last month.

4 Hasselbaink and Fowler? Potent in 1998, pensionable in 2008, no?

5 Factor in Jermain Defoe’s ineligibility for Portsmouth and Cardiff’s cautious style and you’ve got a goalless draw and extra-time looming.

6 Even after being knocked out, the big clubs have still found a way to overshadow the Cup in the form of Manchester United’s and Chelsea’s participation in next week’s Champions League final.

7 Supporters of Reading and Birmingham City have reason to curse Portsmouth’s involvement, which surely contributed to their tepid end-of-season form, climaxing in that home defeat by Fulham last Sunday that doomed the pair to relegation.

8 How healthy is the nationalistic tension generated by the debate over whether a Welsh anthem should be played in addition to God Save The Queen? Then there’s the anti-English sentiments of a section of the Cardiff support (though would they be happier if their team was in the League of Wales? One suspects not). Group hug, everyone.

9 Lengthy carbon footprint of convoy making long journey from south Wales, plus emissions from Portsmouth support’s cars as they sit in traffic on the A3 in that terrible bottleneck by the Devil’s Punch Bowl can’t help sponsors e:on’s supposed mission to reduce our "carbon footyprint". (Heck, it’s a corny marketing strategy, anyway.)

10 Presence of unfashionable clubs, especially a lower-league one from Wales, may inspire Mark Lawrenson to make bad jokes on BBC coverage. Not that he needs much encouragement.

Comments

[NEIL]

"Cardiff’s cautious style". Has Dave even been to see Cardiff play this season? One suspects not....

[Phil]

This week I have read hardly anything at all about the FA Cup final, but seen plenty of headlines about Avram Grant's whinging about dodgy refs and Fergie's mind games. This probably suits the FA- who must secretly be wishing a Welsh team never made to the final- but reflects the English media's apathy towards teams outside the so-called Big Four.

[Andy]

Anti-Welsh? -don't flatter yourself that any Englishman has the time or energy to be Anti Welsh! Seriously you need to have a good look at yourself if you think there is any Anti-Welshness out there - although I will grant you there are a few crazy types in Wiltshire who probably still think they might invade.

[Steve]

Agree 100% with Dave - "borefest" is the right word and his comments about players attitude is correct too. 'When you are already in the CL, who needs the FA Cup...??'

[Dominic O'Reilly]

A friend said, 'at least with the Big Four you'll get good football, I can't see this being a good advert for the British game.'

I think the borefests between Chelsea, Arsenal and Man United with the players feeling this is slightly beneath them is the worst ad for our game.

[Passit]

I resent the comment about our anti-English minority. There is an equal anti-Welsh feeling from our friends across the border.

[Dave]

on Point 10 Mark Lawenson never makes anything other than bad jokes and John Motson chortling along next to him is almost enough to make you want to listen to Alan Green (Almost but not quite)