Tony Cascarino's football lesson No 9: How to play through emotional pain

I don’t pretend to know what went through Frank Lampard’s mind yesterday, or how he is feeling. Everyone is built differently. But for many footballers, playing despite personal problems, a family tragedy or other distractions is not as difficult as some people think.

Death, divorce, depression, legal or money worries - from the outside, it might seem surprising that anyone with serious issues to deal with could be in fit shape mentally to take part in a big game, let alone play well, but often matches come as a welcome distraction.

From my own experience, I went through a divorce but being on the pitch was like an escape, I was breaking out of the prison that normal life had become. Keeping my focus was no problem because when I played, I didn’t think about the divorce.

There was the odd moment, a second now and again when images and memories flashed through my brain, but in the intensity of a match, there’s no time to dwell on things. No matter what you’re going through, you can get caught up in the pace of the game and the atmosphere inside the stadium, though training can be slower and gives you more time to examine your thoughts.

Dressing-rooms are full of banter but in times of crisis there’s no better place to be than surrounded by your mates, who will rally round you. The camaraderie is sincere and really lifts you, as can the fans. There’s a supportive collective spirit, like at Stamford Bridge yesterday when Lampard scored, when there was a massive outpouring of goodwill towards him, a huge amount of sympathy. It doesn’t take away the pain of course but Lampard will surely cherish the memories from the game against Liverpool for the rest of his life.

Far from harming performance, the desire to achieve something in tribute to an individual – such as scoring a goal in honour of a friend or family member – can spur the player on to higher levels of achievement. It can concentrate the mind when you’d expect the reverse to be true.

Finally there’s the mental make-up of the typical top sportsman. In a macho culture they are always seeking to show their toughness, prove their character. Many of them think: if life’s knocked me down, I will get straight back up again. They feel they are born to win by overcoming adversity, and are good at suppressing negative emotions – or simply not dwelling on them.

Comments

[reikirebel]

Negative is the root to our downfall, if you can understand negative and its meaning then dealing with it will always feel more comfortable, yes using an activity to take the mind away from negative is a great way to give yourself a break but ultimately learning to cope with our emotions is the real way forward!

As a liverpool fan I gave up chasing the game when frank slotted in the penalty, nothing is more important then people and his personal courage was magical, he's no hero for his actions as they were very personal to him but he is a true role-model in a world of pretenders ... good luck frank, I don't know you but felt proud of your actions, I expected you are a shining light for your family right now!! good luck in the final :-)

reikirebel