Top of the Euro Pops, part seven

It's time for the seventh instalment of the finals countdown - Tom Dart's Euro Pops.

1. Halfway home

While the final group games are almost always the most exciting, it's a bittersweet feeling: a sign that the tournament is slimming down after the binge as half the teams head home. That means that half the fans go, too, so the carnival loses some of its diversity and therefore its colour, the atmosphere becomes more intense and therefore more serious. Indeed, we're already well past the midpoint: eighteen matches down, just thirteen to go.

2. Swede heart but no soul

Is there a duller team than Sweden in this tournament? The Swedes numb with their sheer uneventful competence.  At least Greece's badness and defensiveness were interesting, in a perverse way. Zlatan Ibrahimovic and the injured Christian Wilhelmsson aside, they are as exciting as standing in a supermarket queue waiting to buy paint which you are then going to apply to a wall and watch dry. Their style is summed up by Freddie Ljungberg's transformation over the past couple of years from barnstorming winger with a multicoloured Mohican to close-cropped midfield drone.

3. Barnet

We should be suspicious of Spain's chances when their defensive rock is Carles Puyol. True hard men do not go to the same barber as Ivan Campo.

4. Set pieces in pieces

That's eighteen matches gone and no free kicks scored. The standard has been generally awful, with Cristiano Ronaldo's bouncing effort that went across the face of goal and back off the post for Portugal against Turkey on the opening day about the closest we've come. One of the few shots not to end up in Row ZZ, in fact. Is it down to the ball? Petr Cech has moaned that it's hard to predict the flight - perhaps it's as true for forwards as goalkeepers.

5. Czech out

The climax to Turkey's win over the Czech Republic was magnificent, though penalties would have been fun too. You'd have fancied the Czechs in a shoot-out - Tuncay, the stand-in goalkeeper, couldn't even put on his shirt the right way.

6. The retiring type

It's farewell, Jan Koller: 90 caps, 55 goals including his brilliant header to open the scoring in Geneva. Like many big lumps up front before him, Koller is underrated because of his freakish size. If Peter Crouch shaved off his hair and spend a few more hours in the gym, he might be able to do a similar job for England.

7. Setting the table

It seems like a good idea, this head-to-head business to decide who finishes where when teams are level on points. If you're level with a side who you've beaten earlier in the mini-league, you finish above them. But it's a recipe for confusion because the tables do lie. If Germany draw with Austria and Poland beat Croatia tonight, both will have four points but Germany will be through because they defeated Poland earlier on. If Poland won easily to finish with a better goal difference than the Germans, there would be nothing in the final table to show why Germany are above them. Football's supposed to be a simple game, right? The head-to-head rule creates the possibility that a team could produce a magnificent goal-spree and it would count for nothing because of an earlier unlucky defeat.

8. Everybody hates Raymond

In an earlier post, my esteemed colleague Gabriele Marcotti rightly points out that criticising Raymond Domenech is like shooting fish in a barrel. This is not going to stop me getting my shotgun and heading for the aquarium. Is Raymond Domenech the worst manager at Euro 2008? It seems an odd question to ask of a man who led France to the final of the 2006 World Cup. But the evidence of the first two games suggests he makes absurd selection decisions then does not have the wit during matches to repair the damage. Yesterday Domenech blamed the players. Well, you picked them. Yes, there are a few big names in the squad living on reputation and not looking hungry - so why did you choose them?

9. Star flaws

This was written in the stars for the astrology-loving Domenech, all right - stars like Lilian Thuram, Thierry Henry and Claude Makelele being past their consommer avant dates. Following up his horror tackle against Romania with two more nasty challenges against Holland, Makelele seems like a very angry man. Perhaps it's having to play alongside Jeremy Toulalan while Lassana Diarra stews on the bench. Henry meanwhile was grinning at the final whistle as he talked to a Dutch opponent. Were they joking about Thuram? "He used to be one of the very best defenders in the world, you know!" And William Gallas still looks like he is on the brink of an emotional breakdown.

10. All front

Anyone else hoping for a Holland-Spain semi-final? What a game that would be. The two best attacking sides in the tournament (along with Portugal) - but with defensive weaknesses. We haven't seen Holland's defence badly exposed yet, partly because opponents have not taken their chances, partly because Edwin van der Sar is in great form, partly because they spend so much time attacking. But look at the names in the back four. The Dutch are touchable.

Comments

[Calvin]

Absolutely boring! Except for the Danish Dynamite (80's and early 90's), no single squad from Scandinavia is reknown for attractive, offensive and/or creative football. Norway, Denmark or Sweden shouldn't play at international tournaments. It's just too awful to look at. Yawnnnn...

So I'll expect and hope Russia to win tonight.

[Krister Wendin]

So true, Karl! Sweden shone a little bit brighter in 2004 when we relied on the same stars (Larsson, Ljungberg and Ibrahimovic), only more fit, younger and hungrier then. Both Larsson and Ibra scored a couple of memorable goals then and Sweden were eventually knocked out on penalties against Holland. But the core problem is that Sweden "is hard to beat"; we don't play to win - we play not to lose. Unfortunately!

[Kristina Nilsson]

Sweden boring?
Did you by any chance watch Austria-Germany last night?
Now, that WAS boring.
I nearly fell asleep and if it hadn't been for the good looking Herr Lehman I probably would have!
I have to defend my country Sweden and we are
1) good loking
2) hard working and never give up
3) pround of playing for our lovely country

I just wish they were wearing less...

[Ryan Gibbs]

I'm French and I read on a French web site this morning that you were bashing the French squad. So I decided to take a look at what you had to say and figure out whether you were making valid points. Well done I agree with everything you said about them.Most of their core players are too old and the only reason Domenech still has a job is thanks to Zizou. Had he not come back we may not have even qualified for the last world cup.

[Karl Shah]

Sweden is what I call the Ford of World Football. Always reliable but never seem to spark and be noticed.
Sweden always manage to qualify for major football tournaments, but always seem to get knocked out in second round matches occasionally Quarter finals. Mexico is their South American equivalents.
You always know what you’re going to expect from the likes of Sweden and Mexico.