The wit and wisdom of Sepp Blatter

Sepp Blatter has put his foot in his mouth again by claiming that Cristiano Ronaldo is being treated like a slave at Manchester United.

It's not the first time the Fifa president, who was once described as “a man who has 50 ideas a day, 51 of them bad”, has got the back up of the entire footballing world. His outspoken views cover a vast range of subjects from women's football to the size of the goalposts. So is he the voice of reason or a madman with too much power? Judge for yourself…

1. Why have two halves when you can have four quarters? Blatter’s plan to make the beautiful game more popular in the United States sinks like Derby County.

2. Blatter claims that women players should wear tighter shorts to make the game more sexy.

3. The president is not finished with women’s football yet as he dives in with both feet to announce that “homosexuality is more popular” in the female game.

4. The game is becoming boring. We need more goals. Solution? Make the goals bigger – 25cm higher and 50cm wider should do the trick.

5. “I think there is too much football on TV”. Blatter bites the hand that feeds.

6. Blatter threatens to ban Spain from major tournaments six months before Luis Aragones’s team triumph at Euro 2008. Why? The Spanish government wants sporting associations to become more democratic.

7. Why have one Graham Poll when you can have two? Sepp wants two referees for us to abuse and ridicule.

8. Blatter alienates the whole of Italy by accusing Marcello Lippi’s team of cheating during the World Cup finals in Germany in 2006.

9. One billion cricket-mad Indians scratch their heads after Blatter urges them to put down their bats and take up the beautiful game. “If your brother asks for a fish, don't give him the same; instead, teach him how to catch it,” Sepp announces on an official visit to India. You what?

10. Try searching for “Blatter” and “mad” on google. You’ll get more than 100,000 results.

Comments

[dainius]

This man has no idea that if he was a politician his statements that a man who gets 100.000 a week is a slave would be a political suicide.
This man should be sacked.

[Pablo M]

and his idea to abolish the chance of a match ending in a draw?

[Pallav Purkayastha]

Really, Blatter is getting dumb & dumber by the day. And you dont get 100,000 results for blatter+mad on google, you get 204,000 results for the madman. That is like 204,000 bad ideas a second.

[Ilja]

Strange that he found Italy cheating at the world-cup since it was his doing that Italy had one of Germany's most influential midfielders banned before the semifinals. Thanks, Sepp...

[Jon]

I find it interesting that of the 10 "bad ideas" you have only found links to two of them, suggesting either that many are apocryphal, or your researcher is a misogynist. If you had googled for "+Blatter" and "+mad", you might have had more luck finding them amongst the 65,100 results.

[Gary M]

"Try searching for “Blatter” and “mad” on google. You’ll get more than 100,000 results."

Actually, no you don't. You get 72,900 results.

If however you search for "The Times Scraping the Barrel" in google it produces even more hits at 96,700!!!

[michaelb]

Blatter is on the RM payroll thus his input.He has been under investigation for financial irregularities at FIFA for a number of years but changes rules to prevent access to records by investigating bodies.

[Robert Postuma]

Blatter's wit should get world wide head lines.
Crown him the "nitwit" of the year.