The Rivals: Manchester United target Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Take Zlat - Daily Mirror
Sir Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, is weighing up a move for Inter Milan striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

George Caulkin’s verdict: how exactly do you weigh up a move? Is Fergie sitting in his office with a gigantic set of scales and £80m on one side? Ibrahimovic is one of those players who seems to have been around forever. I thought he was about 40, but in fact he is only 27. Which, while not particularly relevant, is factually accurate.
Our rating: 5/10

Downing and Tuncay in frame for Villa - Daily Mirror
Martin O'Neill is keen to sign Stewart Downing and Tuncay from Middlesbrough in deal worth £18m.

George’s verdict: Football is so unfair. Your team gets relegated. You feel sad, nauseous, angry. But the very people who got you relegated then move somewhere else and are furnished with a pay rise. In effect, they get a promotion. How does that work? It should be enshrined in European law that relegated footballers either have to spend at least one season with the team they relegated or in a coal mine. Not that there are any coal mines. Anyway. Yes, Villa are firm admirers of Stewie D, who at least cares about Middlesbrough, although the England winger will not return to fitness until September.
Our rating: 7/10

Don't let Terry go - The Sun
Roman Abramovich has been urged to do all he can to prevent John Terry from leaving Chelsea for Manchester City. However, Terry's future remains uncertain despite the club offering him a £15,000-per-week pay rise.

George’s verdict: a pay rise of £15,000-per-week! This is an insult! You could not offend John Terry more if you spat in his face while burning the Union flag and telling him that jellied eels are an affront against nature. City are offering him a basic salary of £19bn-per-minute plus a £5bn loyalty bonus if he stays at Eastlands beyond January. You can’t argue with those figures.
Our rating: 3/10

Allardyce keen on Kenwyne - Daily Mirror
The Blackburn manager is planning to make an offer for Kenwyne Jones, the Sunderland striker, provided their manager Steve Bruce lands his targets.

George’s verdict: I love the transfer window. It’s like a gigantic game of poker where everybody is bluffing, boasting about the great cards they’ve got and how much they’re going to win and then, at the end of it all, you end up with Marlon King. Sir Bobby Robson once said that ‘if’ is the biggest word in football. Which isn’t true, but you know what he means. Once something happens ... er ... some other things might.
Our rating: 6/10

Sam eye on Bent - The Sun
However, Allardyce is also keen to hijack Sunderland's bid to sign Darren Bent, the Tottenham striker.

George’s verdict: If we’re going to continue with the poker theme, then this is cheating, surely! Big Sam has been looking at Brucie’s hand. That’s not fair. Bent is available for transfer, we know that. Sunderland are after him, as well as Peter Crouch, and have put in a lot of time and effort into their cause. But Blackburn need a striker.
Our rating: 6/10

Chelsea make shock Johnson bid - Daily Mail
Adam Johnson, the England Under-21 winger, is also expected to join the exodus from Middlesbrough after emerging as a surprise target for new Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti.

George’s verdict: What? Next you’ll be telling me that Manchester United have signed Michael Ow ... Oh.
Our rating: 6/10

Walk Talk - The Sun
Tottenham are planning to make a £3m bid for Kyle Walker, the 19-year-old Sheffield United defender.

George’s verdict: BREAKING NEWS. With the naming of Sheffield United’s Kyle Walker, Harry Redknapp has now officially been linked with every single professional player in England and is now eligible to keep the trophy.
Rating: 4/10

Comments

[jonners]

Its great fun all of this speculation, but really you could be just as informed sitting at home making up your own 'potential moves'. Ashley Young is tipped to go to Utd, Nani to Valencia, Villa to Barca, Eto to City, Bellamy to A Villa. How many agents and journalists swap stories for their mutual benefit? the agents want more smoke (does anybody believe they really want their players settled at one club?) the reporters get a bit of gossip and perhaps a glass of sherry.

[Steve Phillips]

I'd love to see Downing at Tuncay at Villa! Being a Villa fan we surely need more class in the middle as Reo-Coker has failed, and will probably be off somewehere hideous (Tottenham). We should also go for Richards from Manchester City and why not bring Crouch back. We could then field this XI next season;

GK: B. Friedel
RB: L. Young
LB: W. Bouma
CB: C. Davis
CB: M. Richards
CM: M. Petrov
ACM: Tuncay
ACM: Milner
RM: Downing
LM: A. Young
CF: J. Carew / P. Crouch

Relegate Agbonlahor to the best as he's rubbish, save his pace for last 30 minutes etc.

[Jon]

I hear that SAF is planning to buy every goalkeeper in the premier league and rent them back to the other clubs at inflated prices with the stipulation that they cannot play against Utd.

A great way to invest your £80m!

[Philipdru]

Burning the union flag would be no insult. Terry is an ENGLISHMAN.

[Bernd Neuenkirchen]

SAF: Don't buy Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He's totally overrated and by far too slow for the EPL. But he has some nice technical skills. One Berbatov on a team is enough!

[Didier]

Haha George that was a good laugh mate, I enjoy your humour.

[AT]

Reason for most of those being rubbish.

O'Neil - unless he has a fetish for wingers, he should avoid buying another one. But does need reinforcement in the middle

SAF - Berbatov already takes up the overinflated, not very quick, wander around with some nice touches, doesn't turn up for the big games role. No need for Zlatan then.

[Mark]

Nooooo not Ibrahimovic! He's never done it at the top level, and he's a legendary sulker.