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 Have you been out with any footballers since you became Miss England?
No.
Any of them tried it on?
No, none at all. Anyway, I prefer rugby to football and I’m very happy with my boyfriend. He’s a maths student.
So, no ambitions to become a WAG, then?
None. I’d never go out with anybody just because of their job. I did go and see York City a couple of weeks ago, though. They’re my local team. We lost 3-2 to Woking and we had three men sent off, so it was value for money, but I’m more a rugby girl. It’s more exciting to watch, it’s more violent and vicious and the players are better looking.
What is the best thing about being Miss England?
Everything. I went to Miss World in China last year and I didn’t win, but I still had a fantastic time. It was live on TV and it was the second most watched show in the world. We had to do a lot of dancing and posing and the whole thing was an absolute buzz.
Has it opened a lot of doors?
Well, I’m much more confident now and I’m modelling full time. My dream is to become a TV presenter, but I’m already dreading not being Miss England any more. I’m going to be really sad when I hand my crown over in this year’s grand final at The Troxy in Docklands on July 18.
What is the worst job you have had?
Probably cleaning the house with my sister for pocket money.
Where do you stand on the size zero debate?
I absolutely love my food. I’m a proper Yorkshire girl and I love steak, chocolate, veg — anything, really. I go to the gym when I get the time, but I’m naturally slim.
Is there anything you dislike about your appearance?
We get what we’re given. I wouldn’t change anything except maybe my legs could be a bit smoother.
Finally, have you ever met Teddy Sheringham?
No.
Interview by KAVEH SOLHEKOL
 Which would you prefer — an Oscar or an FA Cup-winner’s medal?
That’s a really tough one. God, that’s difficult. I’ll have to go for an Oscar.
Acting or playing at Wembley — which makes you more nervous?
It’s funny, but I’ve played in quite a few celebrity matches and I never get nervous. I’ve played in front of 60,000 at Wembley, 50,000 at St James’ Park and 40,000 at Anfield, and the most nervous I ever got was when I made my semi-pro debut for Edgware Town on a Tuesday night in front of four blokes and a dog.
Who is the best celebrity player?
Angus Deayton’s not bad. He’s getting on a bit, but he understands the game and keeps it simple. Simon Jordan is decent as well. He scored a cracking volley at Wembley in a charity game last summer.
And the worst? I don’t want to name names, but there are a few celebrities who can’t play but turn up because they’ve been advised that it’s good PR. I heard Pete Doherty was a dirty player. Apparently he goes around kicking anything that moves.
When are you next in action?
Schoolboy football is back at Wembley on Saturday and I’m playing in a celebrity match between Scotland and England beforehand to raise money for the Bobby Moore Fund. Gordon Ramsay is captaining the Scots and apparently they’re in the mood for a battle.
Who was a better manager — Graham Taylor or Harry Redknapp?
One of the perks of playing in these games is that we get coached by some top managers. Graham Taylor is an absolute legend. He was so inspirational it was unbelievable. After his team talks, you felt like you could walk through a wall. Harry was a bit more laid-back, he was more like, “Well done, son. Keep it up.”
Were you really working as a barman at the Reebok Stadium when you started filming The Royle Family?
Only for about three games. My girlfriend was working there, so I did it out of solidarity. I was working in the Bolton players’ bar and I hated it. We hardly ever got a tip from any of the players. They’d order two Lucozades and a glass of wine for the missus. You’d say, “That’s nine pounds, please.” They’d give you a tenner and wait for the pound coin. Unbelievable.
Interview by KAVEH SOLKEHOL
Sir Les, where does the nickname come from?
I don't have a clue. It's not a bad nickname, though. Lots of people still call me Sir Les. I was working in Singapore last year on a TV show and someone called in and said: "Sir Les, I know you were a good player, but there are lots of other English players who deserved to be knighted before you."
Continue reading "QA: Les Ferdinand" »
What has been the secret of your success this season?
Better players. We only just survived in the Championship last season, but we got some fresh investment in the summer, which has helped us to go in a new direction.
Beat Queens Park Rangers on Saturday and you could be in the top two.
We’ll finish where we deserve to finish. We don’t want to start talking about promotion and the Premier League yet.
True or false — this is the worst Championship ever.
Absolute rubbish. It’s become fashionable to have a go at the Championship, but there are plenty of quality teams in this division. Three Championship teams in the semi-finals of the FA Cup, 20 teams still with something to play for. In terms of excitement you can’t get much better than that. Sure, there are some teams who use strong-arm tactics, but that’s the same in any league.
You were Sam Allardyce’s right-hand man at Bolton Wanderers. When are we going to see him back in the dugout?
He’ll be back soon. He’d become part of the fixtures and fittings at Bolton and he needed a fresh challenge. Newcastle didn’t work out, but the next club that gets him are going to be very lucky because they will be getting one of the best.
How hard was it making the transition from No 2 to No 1?
It’s been a steep learning curve. I had a bad experience at Derby, where I only lasted seven months, but I had a great apprenticeship under Sam.
Any chance of Bolton staying up?
It’s a very difficult situation. They’ve had some very poor results and they’re not scoring goals and that’s sending out the wrong message to the opposition. In Sam’s days, teams were scared of coming to Bolton. Gary Megson’s hands are tied, but I wish him all the best.
What is the worst job you have had?
Back when I was an electrician, I had some really tough outside lighting jobs on the banks of the Tyne in the wind and rain, 40 feet up a ladder.
Was that as bad as posing naked for the Hull City programme?
I got a lot of stick for that, but it was done very tastefully. I had a football as a prop, so I was amply protected.
Where would you most like to live?
At the moment I’ve got to say Hull.
Interview by KAVEH SOLHEKOL
How hard were you?
I was doing Bill Shankly’s garden for him in 1960, after my dad had died, and he said: “Son, here’s a bit of advice: don’t take any s*** from anyone.” I’ve lived like that for 40 years and I’m still here.
You v Roy Keane. Who would be the last man standing?
I’m not scared of anyone — except the wife. Keane was a good player, but I made myself into a unit that looked like he was going to kill you. I played against Jimmy Greaves once and I gave him a piece of paper on the pitch. It was the menu from the local hospital.
You’re marking Cristiano Ronaldo. Fancy your chances?
I played with Pelé in the United States, so I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. Don’t forget, football has changed. Nowadays they play on bowling greens with a bloody balloon. Ronaldo? No problem. He wouldn’t be rolling around on the pitch after I’d finished with him.
Continue reading "QA: Tommy Smith" »
The Inter Milan job could be available in the summer. Have you applied yet?
I’m not sure it is now. I’m devastated because Roberto Mancini has changed his mind and decided he’s going to stay. My eyes did open up wide when he said he was going, but I’ve got another two years years left on my contract at MK Dons.
But you’ll get there one day?
Definitely. As a player you have ambitions, you want to play for the biggest clubs and your country and it’s the same for managers. Hopefully, one day I’ll manage Inter Milan. The fans there love me and I love them.
Continue reading "QA: Paul Ince" »
 Do you have the hardest job in football?
I imagine so. We’re in administration, have had ten points deducted, are favourites to go down and the last manager resigned because he didn’t want to see it through. But I knew how bad it was, so I can’t complain. And we finally won on Saturday.
How bad is bad?
This club has been mismanaged for two years. I’ve only got one centre back — Chris Perry. We’re not allowed to sign any players. In a couple of games I’ve had to play four left-footed full backs across the back. It’s not ideal, but we can’t complain. We broke the rules and the Football League have punished us. We need to win eight of our last ten games to have any chance of staying up. It’s a big ask, but miracles do happen.
Continue reading "QA: Mick Harford" »
 Do you regret retiring at only 30?
I knew there was more to life than football. I miss the big games, the European nights, but I’ve no regrets.
What did you hate most about being a footballer?
If you are successful, some sections of the media think that they can dig into your personal life and a lot of skulduggery goes on — and that’s something I don’t miss.
You had a reputation for being hard to handle. Was it deserved?
It’s bizarre that people think I didn’t get on with my team-mates at Liverpool or Aston Villa or wherever. I’m a full-time sport broadcaster and I get unrivalled access to a lot of players. That wouldn’t happen if they had a problem with me.
Is being a pundit as easy as it looks?
I hate the word pundit. People have this perception that we just turn up and talk off the top of our heads, but I go armed with pages and pages of my own stats and research. We have to get away from the stereotypes about ex-players just turning up and going through the motions.
You were stigmatised for suffering from depression during your career. Do you think things have changed?
John Gregory, my manager at Villa at the time, said how can a player earning so much a week be depressed and that showed the level of ignorance within football towards a serious illness. More is being done to help players now, but in my day having a mental illness was a real stigma. Admitting to it was like saying you were gay.
Do you think a gay player will feel comfortable about coming out soon?
I’d like to think so. Football should reflect society and there is absolutely no reason why gay players should hide their sexuality. They’re reluctant to come out because of the macho dressing-room culture and fear of the stick that they would get from fans.
You tried your hand at acting a couple of years ago. What was it like working with Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct 2?
She was absolutely beautiful. Everything you would expect a Hollywood A-list star to be. I spent about a week working with her.
What would you have been if you hadn’t been a footballer?
Nothing. There was never any question of me not being a footballer. It was all I ever wanted to be.
Interview by KAVEH SOLKEHOL
Bikini Heaven, FHM High Street Honeys, The Unofficial World Records of Sex, Soccer AM — you’ve had some good gigs on Sky . . .
I promise you they’re nowhere near as glamorous as they sound. The Unofficial World Records of Sex (which I only presented) scarred me for years. Some things in life a young man doesn’t need to see. But I needed a new couch at home and it paid quite well. I met my now wife at Bikini Heaven. She was the assistant producer at the time. I said as soon as I met her she was the one. That was before I’d seen the 14 contestants.
Did you know that there are 14,300 results when you type “Andy Goldstein” and “sex symbol” into Google?
Yep I did, and it took me most of the night to type them all in.
Continue reading "QA: Andy Goldstein" »
Match of the Day 2, The One Show, Sport Relief. Do you ever get a lie-in?
I’m not all that busy. Live telly is easy. You go in, you do your stuff and you go home. It’s not as bad as it looks.
What are you doing for Sport Relief?
Me and Alan Shearer are cycling from Newcastle to London via West Bromwich, against the clock, in two days. It’s about 375 miles so it’s going to be a close call.
Continue reading "QA: Adrian Chiles" »
Your autobiography, Hard Man: Hard Game, is out next month. Are there any hard men left in the modern game?
I am impressed with John Terry, I think he’s a very good defender. He does put in a tackle or two as far as they are allowed these days. Tackling, like heading, it’s a skill. They’re taking a vital skill that the crowd love out of the game: two honest footballers, 50-50, a good crunching tackle. My theory was: you can let the ball go past you, no problem. Let the player go past you, no problem. But don’t let them go past you together — one can’t score without the other.
What’s gone wrong at Liverpool?
People tell me you’ve got to rotate, it’s so different now. Well it’s not so different, I can tell you. The way football is these days, with the diets and regimes, I really can’t see the problem with playing two matches a week. One season with Nottingham Forest, we played 75 games and I played in 74 of them. Strikers in my day would have an animal like me or Tommy Smith or Kenny Burns kicking them from behind, which was allowed . . . well, it wasn’t allowed, but you could get away with it. Personally, if I was in a rotation system, I would go ape-s***. I want to play every game, I don’t want to sit on the bench. I’m big enough, strong enough, fit enough to play football twice a week and I want to. I don’t want to sit on my a***.
At least they’re doing better than they are at Nottingham Forest. You won two European Cups and the league at Forest, and look at them now.
I go on the internet, read the local rag, you get headlines like “Big game for Forest, must beat Doncaster”. Bloody Doncaster! Who the hell’s Doncaster? It should be “Big game for Forest: must beat Man United, must beat Chelsea, difficult away tie at Arsenal”, you know what I mean? All due respect to these clubs, they shouldn’t be mentioned in the same breath as Forest.
What was it like playing for Brian Clough?
I smelt that this guy was a winner and he was going to help my career. He got a team together that was quite exceptional. As a man, though, we weren’t compatible, let’s put it that way. I didn’t like the way he talked to people at times — strangers. The way he talked to us, we had to put up with it because we were in his employ, but he came across as arrogant and very rude at times and he got away with murder sometimes, the way he spoke to people.
You played under Clough at Forest, Bob Paisley and Bill Shankly at Anfield and Sir Alf Ramsey picked you for England. Who was the best manager?
Shankly was all motivation, shouting, bawling and winding you up, but you just wanted to play for the man. Paisley was more quiet, more studious, more thoughtful. Clough, he was a great motivator as well. To answer your question, I suppose Clough because he did it with two small-city clubs, Derby and Nottingham. Back-to-back European Cups? Manchester United can’t do that. Nobody can tell me it was easy in those days because it bloody wasn’t. Clough was an absolute genius of a manager.
Interview by Tom Dart
 Are Liverpool ever going to win the title again?
I bloody well hope so because it’s driving me mad. At the start of this season I thought we had a great chance, but I’m not so sure any more. These things go in circles, though, and we’ll be back. We’re moving in the right direction. The spine of our team — Reina, Carragher, Mascherano, Gerrard and Torres — is as good as anyone. It’s out wide where we could do with a Giggs or a Ronaldo or a Wright-Phillips.
It was very different in your day.
Our team was full of great players. Kenny Dalglish, John Barnes, Peter Beardsley. How could I not score playing with players like them? Our game was all about passing, keeping the ball and wearing the opposition down.
It must have been a culture shock when you played for Ireland under Jack Charlton.
I had no problems with that. I had no hesitation playing for Ireland. I qualified through my roots on my mum’s side and I call myself an Irish Scouser now. Liverpool people used to be patriotic in the old days, but some terrible things were done to our city by central governments during the Sixties, Seventies and Eighties. Look what Maggie Thatcher did to us. Some people in Liverpool are patriotic, but most aren’t — it’s like an independent principality.
You left Tranmere Rovers seven years ago. Is there any chance of you ever returning to the dugout?
Never say never, but I can’t see it happening. I became very disillusioned after five years at Tranmere. I was robbing Peter to pay Paul. I kept having to sell players and dismantle my teams. I just needed a rest.
What are you up to now?
Lots of things. I cover every Liverpool home and away game live for a radio station in Liverpool called Radio City and I write for a couple of magazines and newspapers and I do some after-dinner speaking and a lot of work in Ireland as well. When it comes to Liverpool, I should know what I’m talking about. I played for them and I’ve been supporting them for 43 years. It’s in the blood.
So you must get a friendly welcome when you go to Old Trafford.
I wouldn’t go that far. There’s a few idiots there who want to have a go, but there are idiots everywhere in the world. The majority of United fans don’t have a problem with me. Anyway, there’s plenty of Irish supporters there who look after me.
Is it true you won an Irish version of Celebrity X Factor?
Yes, unfortunately. I’m the worst singer in the world. It was worse than being in prison, but I was doing it for charity so I couldn’t give up. I thought I’d get booted out on the first day, but people kept voting for me because they felt sorry for me and I ended up winning. I had to sing 15 songs. Johnny Cash, The Beatles, Status Quo — you name it, I murdered it. I never realised I was so popular.
Finally, who is going to win the title?
Much as it hurts, I’ve got to say United. I’d like to see Arsenal win because I love the way they play, but United have got Ronaldo and he’s the one player who can win it on his own.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
What is it like being the most famous man in Malta?
 I’m just a normal guy. I’m not a celebrity. Malta is not a very big country and being Maltese is like being part of one big family. I left there when I was 19 to try and make it as a footballer and everything has gone well so far. Everyone back home is pleased that I am doing well.
What do you miss most about Malta?
Where do you want to start? The weather, the food, the fishing.
What’s wrong with the fish in the Midlands?
I like fishing and diving in the Mediterranean. You can’t really do that in Coventry.
There’s been a lot of talk about you leaving Coventry recently.
I know there’s been some interest in me. Every player wants to play in the Premier League. I’m no different and I believe in my ability and I know that I could deal with the step up in class. At the moment, though, I’m just concentrating on doing well at Coventry.
Continue reading "QA: Michael Mifsud" »
 When can we expect to see you back in action?
It’s looking like next season. I’ve got the all-clear from my doctor and I’m off crutches, so hopefully I’ll be able to start pre-season training with the rest of the players in the summer. This is the worst injury I’ve ever had. My left knee was in a bad state.
Has it been more frustrating because Portsmouth are doing so well?
It’s a funny situation. I thought I would be kicking on this season but I’m not bitter about anything. I’m very pleased that we’re doing so well. It’s not about me, it’s about the club.
Have you been watching a lot of daytime TV?
That’s not really my thing. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and some of the lads have sorted me out with some war DVDs. I’ve become really fascinated with the Second World War so I’ve been learning a lot about that.
And you found time to write your book?
I’ve felt for a while that there was something inside me that I needed to get out, so I wrote Transformed. It’s my testimony of faith. Lots of people have seen me play or heard about me but they don’t know who I really am.
So it’s not about birds, booze and cars?
That’s not what I’m about. No player is totally confident in every part of their life, there is always some doubt. I never used to deal with those doubts. I always found negatives in my performances. My self-confidence was low, I was unsure of myself.
Is that why you turned to God?
I was where I had always wanted to be but I felt empty inside. I was playing football, I had a lovely house, a beautiful wife, three children. Everything should have been perfect but there were still questions that I wanted answered. I tried meditation and that worked for a while, but not for long enough.
And then you were born again?
One day out of the blue my wife said she wanted to go to church. I told her I wasn’t a church person but we went along and I started to hear about Jesus. I started to recognise where we had been going wrong. We opened up our hearts and let Jesus in. I was very doubtful for a couple of weeks because I had no evidence that I had encountered God, but that changed and I realised that I could use my sport to play for Jesus rather than myself and I became more confident because I was playing for God.
Can it work for anyone?
There is no formula. If you are questioning your role in life, read the New Testament, go to church or go on an Alpha course. Lots of people think that church is just a building but you can start a relationship with God and find someone to talk to.
Even a cynical hack?
I really think so. God loves people regardless of your job. I still have problems but I can talk to Jesus and he deals with them. Because I can’t touch or see him, it might seem strange, but most of the time he has delivered when I have needed him.
Does it feel strange when you are playing against Nicolas Anelka or other Muslim players?
Not at all. He is a very good player and I played against him when he was at Manchester City and Bolton. It’s a dream come true to be on the same pitch. There are a number of Muslim players at Portsmouth and it is not a problem at all because we all believe in one God. We have a healthy respect for each other. I never think that they are wrong and they don’t think that I am wrong. When I look at someone like Anelka I don’t see differences, I see a person, but I also know that I have experienced something that no one can take away from me.
Has your faith made you a better player?
I think so because my doubts were affecting my performances. I pray all the time but my religion doesn’t tell me to pray X amount of times a day. I can pray as much or as little as I want. I do it when I want, it’s a constant process. I do it in the dressing-room, I do it on the pitch, I do it at home, I do it wherever I want.
Will you be doing it in Europe next season?
You never know. Realistically everyone at the club would be happy with another top-ten finish but fingers crossed we’ll be in Europe next season. Hopefully the boys will have done the hard work of getting us there and then I can enjoy a little bit of glory.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
What did you do before Sky?
What did anyone do before Sky? I am a trained journalist, so I’ve worked on newspapers and radio and other TV stations. Once I even had a spell measuring inside legs at Burton — but I’d rather keep that quiet.
What’s it like to be described as the new Des Lynam?
It’s a disgrace. Des is the doyen of sports broadcasters and one of my heros. I am very flattered, but Des is the Arsenal of sports presenters, while I am the Hartlepool United.
How flattering is it that The Jeff Stelling Appreciation Society on Facebook has 10,000 members?
What is Facebook?
Never mind. Is presenting Gillette Soccer Saturday one of the hardest jobs on television?
Not since Rodney Marsh left. He was the spikiest, most opinionated pundit ever, but there are no tough jobs in TV. Tough jobs are in a factory, down a pit, at sea.
Why do you think the show is so popular?
It’s more entertaining than some games, that’s for sure. We like to have a bit of fun, but you can guarantee whether you are a Rochdale or a Spurs fan, you’ll hear about your team’s goals quickly and accurately.
Is there anything you don’t know about football?
How the offside law works. Seriously, I know less about football than Paul Merson. I do pore over stats at the southbound Winchester services for six or seven hours every Thursday to prepare for the show. Glamorous being on telly, isn’t it?
Is that where you come up with your one-liners?
Some I prepare in advance. “Jelleyman throws a wobbly” I had thought for a while would be a nice line if Gareth Jelleyman ever got a red card, but he was frustratingly well behaved. I could have punched the air when he got sent off. Sorry, Gareth. Most are genuine ad libs, though, as you can probably tell by how terrible they are.
A personal favourite was “Local boy makes good” when Guylain Ndumbu-Nsungu scored for Sheffield Wednesday.
Yup, I’m afraid that was me.
Finally, have you ever been tempted to switch to terrestrial TV?
I’ve already got the best job in television. I also present live games now, like the Carling Cup semi-finals this week, so why would I move?
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
 Sir Alex Ferguson once said of you: “Back to your usual self, Jeff, f**king useless.” Have you got a Christmas card from him this year?
I have the utmost respect for Fergie and what he has achieved but we never saw eye to eye. He was trying to do his job, which was to fight for Manchester United, and I was trying to do mine, which was to referee. I haven’t spoken to him for years.
Continue reading "QA: Jeff Winter" »
“You have to say that’s magnificent”. Was Diego Maradona’s famous goal against England in 1986 the best you have seen?
Without a shadow of a doubt. It was a special day and a very special match.
Ten World Cups, seven European Championships, 12 European Cup finals — what was the best game you commentated on?
The 1966 World Cup went by in a bit of a blur because it was my first one. It may come as a surprise but I even enjoyed the 1990 finals in Italy because the atmosphere was so special but if I had to pick one game, it would have to be the 1977 European Cup final in Rome. Liverpool 3 Borussia Mönchengladbach 1. It couldn’t be beaten until Istanbul in 2005.
And the worst?
Heysel, 1985. I went to commentate on a football match and I had to describe a tragedy. Bobby Charlton was sitting next to me and we were very conscious that there were people watching who had relatives at the game. The Juventus goal was never a penalty but I didn’t want Liverpool to equalise. I didn’t want extra time. It was an accident waiting to happen.
You’ve stopped commentating on football. Do you miss being in the gantry at 3pm on Saturdays?
People get the impression that I’ve retired, but I just decided not to accept a new contract with Match of the Day. I’ve carried on working and I’m still commentating on tennis and skating and hockey and I’ve also written a book, Interesting, Very Interesting.
What do you make of the internet campaign to get you back on Match of the Day?
It is very flattering and very warming but I don’t think there’s much chance of it happening. I wouldn’t mind a guest appearance, but the style of commentary has changed a great deal. The difference between radio and TV commentary has become very blurred, although I have absolutely nothing against the current crop. I always thought that the role of the commentator was to add words to the pictures offered.
How are you getting on with John Motson these days?
Oh, that’s just newspaper talk. We were rivals but there was never any problems between us. Somebody had to make a choice of who would commentate on the Cup Final and more often than not it would be John. That’s not a problem. We couldn’t sit on each other’s laps.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
 Professional footballer, man about town — life must be good.
Yeah, I’ve got no complaints. Being a footballer is the perfect job. I’m usually home by 1 o’clock and I’m doing something that I love, so I wouldn’t change it for the world.
What do you do with all that spare time?
I see my family, I go out with my friends and I love shopping.
Bond Street or Bluewater?
To be fair, I like both. My favourite label at the moment is Artful Dodger — you can’t go wrong with that. Then there’s Dolce&Gabbana and G-Star.
Who’s the worst-dressed Palace player?
Easy. James Scowcroft. He’s got no style. Morning, noon and night he’s in his Diadora freebies. I can understand wearing that stuff in the daytime, but when you are going out at night? I can’t work out people like that.
It’s Saturday night, you’ve scored the winner for Palace and you’re decked out in D&G. Where are you sipping Cristal?
The Embassy in Mayfair. It’s my kind of place. I always have a laugh there and I get no trouble. Girls like footballers, but I’m a bit wary of the attention. Luckily, I’ve got a partner and she trusts me, so I couldn’t be happier.
How easy would it be to pull — if you were single?
Very easy. I’m not saying it wasn’t easy before I became a footballer, but girls like footballers, that’s just the way it is. Some of them are genuine and some of them want fame, so you can never be sure what they’re after. I’ve got a partner and I’m very happy.
And rumour has it that you like your cars.
I’ve got a Range Rover and a Bentley Continental GT. I love cars and you can’t go wrong with a Bentley.
What’s blasting out of the speakers?
Funky house, R&B, anything as long as it’s not techno.
You’ve been scoring for fun since Neil Warnock arrived at Palace. What’s changed?
Lots of things. The training is more intense and the manager is a winner, and that’s rubbing off on the players.
Finally, who’s the toughest defender you’ve faced?
It’s got to be Alessandro Nesta or Fabio Cannavaro when I was playing for Ireland. Cannavaro’s quite short, so you think that you’ve got a chance, but his all-round game is unbelievable.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
Do you have any sympathy for Steve McClaren?
We missed out on Euro 2008 by one point. I don’t know what is fair or not any more. There is no fair in football. The problems we have had over the past six or seven years can’t be heaped on the head of one man.
Are the players to blame?
They’re not footballers any more, they’re Hollywood stars. They exist in the same stratosphere as film stars. Some of them have started developing airs and graces that don’t sit well with the concept of being a professional sportsman.
Should the next England manager be English?
It would send out the wrong message if he wasn’t. If we are going to tackle the problems in the game then we have to be committed to developing our talent and that includes coaches. British managers have no chance of getting the top jobs nowadays, so how can they prove how good they are? If Arsène Wenger left Arsenal, do you think David Moyes would get his job? No chance. Steve Coppell? No chance.
You were the last English manager to win the title, with Leeds United in 1992. Do you think you will have that claim to fame for long?
My record is safe unless an Englishman gets one of the top jobs and I can’t see that happening for a while. Fifteen years ago, if someone had told me that no other Englishman would have won the title by 2007 I would have laughed. I didn’t think about it until 2002 or 2003, but that’s when it really started to hit home.
Was winning the title the proudest moment of your career?
No, I don’t think so because I’ve done a few things in my time. Helping Notts County reach the first [top] division and then keeping them there took more doing than taking Leeds up and winning the title. Leeds are a special club, though, and I’m absolutely delighted that they’re doing well again. Leeds is a Premier League city and it deserves a Premier League club.
You have been the England caretaker manager. Is managing England an impossible job?
No. Why should it be? Managers know what they’re letting themselves in for when they accept a job. The intrusive media interest has always been there, but you have to handle it. It hasn’t got any worse over the past six or seven years.
You were the FA’s technical director in the late 1990s. What happened to your blueprint for success?
You tell me. When I started working at the FA I forecast what is happening today — the explosion in money from TV, the explosion in the import of foreign players, the decrease in the number of English players in the top flight. I didn’t need Wednesday’s result at Wembley to tell me what’s wrong with the game. Everything that I said was going to happen has happened and the FA failed to do what was necessary. I told the FA that we needed to invest in training coaches, we needed to invest in youth development. That’s what was needed then and that’s what needed now.
Were your recommendations ignored because you had a reputation for being a long-ball manager?
That’s all in the past. It’s all gone. I don’t want to talk about it.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
 You’re the nation’s No 1 shockjock and your talkSPORT show has more than a million listeners, so what’s the official verdict on Steve McClaren?
He’s got to go. I still hope we don’t qualify because we don’t deserve to. We need a root-and-branch restructuring of our game. The old farts at the FA need to wake up and smell the coffee. McClaren should never have been appointed in the first place. The people want him out.
So you don’t have much faith in the FA?
Mark my words, football will eat itself. There is a real danger that soon there won’t be any English players left in the Premier League but no one seems to care because there are so many Johnny Come Latelys in the stands. Football is a working class game but it’s in danger of losing its soul.
Are you in favour of the Government introducing caps on foreign players?
Well, for a start, Gordon Brown’s not fit to wipe spittle off my microphone.
But he’s better than David Cameron.
Said who? Cameron was born with two silver spoons in his mouth but he’s now listening to people like me.
And you prefer him to the greatest Chancellor that this country has ever had?
Brown’s not a leader. Could you imagine him in the dressing-room at half-time in the World Cup final, geeing up the lads? No.
So the past ten years have been a disaster?
That’s not what I’m saying. Labour have done some good things. The country is much more prosperous but they’ve turned it into a nanny state. They were right about Iraq, though, and they are right about the war on terror.
Right, back to football. What’s going on at Coventry?
We’ve run out of money.
Are you tempted to dip your hand in your pocket?
No chance. I’m Sky Blue through and through but I don’t need people shouting abuse at me. I’ve seen too many people lose their business sense when they try to run a football club. I know what I’m good at and that’s being on the radio. The BBC is full of lefties and we need people like me who tell it like it is. If you want to know more, you’ll have to buy my new book, Undaunted. It’s available in all good book shops.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
 Why soccer?
I played baseball, American football, soccer and basketball in junior high back in Seattle, but when I was 15 I decided to concentrate on one. Soccer’s not considered to be a man’s sport in the United States because no one knows anything about it, especially the commentators. Most of them still call headers “head shots” — that’s how bad it is.
Why become a goalkeeper?
In the States, being “the goalminder” is a very sought-after position. It’s not like here in Britain, where everyone thinks there’s something wrong with you if you want to go in goal.
You’re an all-American boy. You’re into guns, cars and heavy metal. Are you packing a piece?
In this country? You gotta be kidding. The only people who are allowed to carry guns in this country are criminals. It’s different back home. I’ve got a gun safe and when I open it, everything falls out. I’ve got about 17 guns — a couple of AR15s, semi-autos, compact 45s, old-style Western revolvers. I used to make my own bullets, too.
Most people grow out of heavy metal when they stop using Clearasil. How come you’re still a metalhead?
Man, I’m into my music. I dig Tool, Slipknot, Jane’s Addiction, \ Zeppelin — anything heavy. When I want to chill out, I put on something soft like the Foo Fighters.
Any other headbangers at Reading?
Unfortunately not, but Kasey Keller, the Fulham keeper, loves metal. He’s into even heavier stuff than me. If I need something heavy I put on some Slipknot, but he’s into harder stuff, like Disturbed.
Strictly Come Dancing or X-Factor?
Neither, man. I prefer to scare people by driving round Berkshire really slowly in my white Porsche with Slipknot blaring out of my speakers.
White Porsche? Isn’t that a bit 1980s?
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with white cars. I rebuilt most of my Porsche 944 myself. My team-mates can’t stand it and they give me a load of abuse for driving a piece of crap, but I love getting my hands dirty in the garage with a couple of beers.
Finally, have you ever seen Steve Coppell smile?
You’ll have to buy my new book, Marcus Hahnemann’s Premiership Diary, to find out, but he’s a great manager. Reading wouldn’t be in the Premier League without him.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
You're rich, you're going out with a model and you own a football club. Where did it all go wrong?
Look, money doesn't make you happy, it gives you choices and choices make you happy. Nothing happens by accident. I didn't start out in business to make money, I started out because I wanted to be the best.
How much money have you poured into Crystal Palace?
£30 million. I turned on the TV last week and there was a Palace fan saying that I was ruining the club. My God, I've busted my gut for seven years and I've spent a ludicrous amount of money and people still aren't pleased. But my time at Palace will come. We will turn it around.
Are you really orange?
I'm not. If the worst thing people can say about me is that I am perma-tanned, then I am doing OK. I would never criticise someone because of their appearance. Kelvin MacKenzie slated me in The Sun recently but I would never call him a fat, old slob.
Continue reading "QA: Simon Jordan" »
 Morning Steve, it’s The Times here. Sorry, you’re not in bed are you?
Don’t worry, mate. Fire away. I warn you, though, I had a few too many glasses of wine last night.
We’ll take things slowly, then.
No problem. What do you want to talk about? Snooker or my new DVD Steve Davis presents The Greatest Snooker Trickshots?
Let’s kick off with snooker.
Right, I’ve got a great story for you. When Ken Doherty is in Dublin, he practises at a local hotel and he’s put up a few pictures in the room to make it a bit more homely. One of the pictures is of Ken with George Best. Anyway, one day Alex Higgins pops in for a few frames. Ken says: “Alex, have a look at the pictures. There might be some people you recognise.” Alex puts on his glasses, stares at a picture and says: “Aye, Georgie Best — what a waste.”
It’s the way you tell ’em Steve! Ever been on the lash with The Hurricane?
Pass.
Ever played drunk?
Never in a tournament, but occasionally at exhibitions. The one that sticks in my mind is at Sheffield in 1985. It was a few days after I’d lost in the final of the World Championship and it was a bit harrowing to be back in Sheffield. I had a few too many beers and by the end of the night I was seeing two reds every time I got to the table. Anyway, why do you want to interview me for the football supplement in The Times?
Because you’re a director of Leyton Orient.
Good point. But I’ve got to make it clear that I’m not really an Orient fan. I must be the only director in the League who couldn’t name one of their own players. I thought Orient played in blue — I’m sure they wore blue in Subbuteo. I’ve only ever been to one board meeting and I got a few funny looks because I turned up in shorts and a T-shirt.
Didn’t you used to be a Charlton Athletic fan?
Yeah, but only as a kid. Once I got into snooker I lost interest in football. One thing I will say for Orient is that they helped me to find a new motor because I’m between cars at the moment. I’m not a car person, but I’m on the road most of the year and I’ve got this little runaround that’s doing 75 miles to the gallon. People give me strange looks when they see me in it, though, because it’s tiny and it’s got Orient logos plastered down the sides.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
 It can’t be easy supporting Manchester United and hosting a phone-in on talkSPORT.
I love it. As soon as we’re on air the death threats start. Football is black and white, it’s tribalism and if you don’t like it, you’re listening to the wrong radio station.
You’ve never had trouble rubbing people up the wrong way.
It’s a working-class thing. There’s a lack of banter down South. I’ve always got an opinion, but we’re living in an era where the less you’ve got to say, the more you’ll be asked to say. Down South, journalists keep calling me cheeky. How can I be cheeky when I’m 44? If I was posh, they’d say I was perspicacious or something.
Maybe they haven’t forgiven you for presenting The Word on Channel 4 in the 1990s.
I don’t know why that gets slagged off so much. It was live, I didn’t have an Autocue, there were 350 kids in the audience and it was aimed at 15-year-olds. It became a target for balding, owlish critics who wanted to stamp on a low-brow, popular entertainment show. Anyway, if you want to know more you’ll have to buy my new book, My Word.
Right, back to football, Terry. Why does everyone hate United?
You tell me. I come from Manchester and I support United, but according to the media we’re so thick up here that we all support City.
Do you ever get a chance to listen to the competition — 6-0-6 on Radio 5 Live?
No, never. I liked it when Adrian Chiles presented it because he knew that football existed before 1990, but I’m not an Alan Green fan. It’s obvious he loves Liverpool. Every time he’s commentating on them he sounds like a sweaty bloke in a brothel.
Who do you hate more, Liverpool or City?
I don’t hate either, but I’d lose a bit of sleep if Arsenal won the title. People bang on about how they play the beautiful game, like they invented it. I care a bit less about football these days. Jimmy Greenhoff, who scored the winner for United in the 1977 FA Cup Final, has been working in a warehouse on the minimum wage and Vinnie Jones is earning millions in Hollywood — that sums up the game.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
 In the film Mike Bassett: England Manager, you had a crack at Steve McClaren’s job. How do you think he’s doing?
Well, kid, you can’t ride two horses with one arse. He was involved when Eriksson was in charge, so he wasn’t my first choice. As far as I’m concerned, the FA always wants a yes-man in charge.
Thumbs down for McClaren, then. What about Rafael BenÍtez - you’re a lifelong Liverpool fan.
I don’t go to Anfield any more. I’m on a one-man protest because of the prices. It used to be a working-class game played by local working-class lads, but I can’t even pronounce the names of most of our players now. When I was a kid, I paid five old pence to get in the boys’ pen in the Kop and now players are earning £120,000 a week – it’s farcical.
Continue reading "QA: Ricky Tomlinson" »
First things, Chris. Is it true you used to be in the Royal Navy?
Yes, but only for about six weeks. I did the basic training and then I signed for Portsmouth, so that was the end of my adventures on the high seas. I think I spent one day on a ship during that whole time.
The Navy’s loss was Sky Sports’s gain. Now, Garth Crooks famously spread his wings and presented The Politics Show on BBC Two. Have you ever fancied having a crack at Newsnight or Question Time?
I actually saw Garth do that show and I thought he was excellent. I’m busy covering games and presenting Goals on Sunday, but I love working in television and I’m open to offers.
Continue reading "Q&A: Chris Kamara" »
Morning, Arjan. You’re a Dutch footballer — why aren’t you arrogant, moody and scared of flying?
That’s a misconception that the English have about the Dutch. I promise we’re not arrogant. It’s just that kids in Holland are taught to have their own opinions from a very young age. It’s a different culture. English players like to listen, Dutch players like to talk.
You moved to England in 1995. What did you make of Barnsley?
Well, it’s not the most romantic place in the world, but I loved it and it was a very strange, exciting mini adventure. People took the mickey out of my accent and my clothes but I fitted in pretty quickly.
You’ve fitted in so well that Tony Blair picked you as one of his favourite players.
That was unbelievable. I was in a hotel room and suddenly my phone went crazy with texts from people asking me if I had been voting Labour. It was a very special moment. I know Blair has his critics but I still think he was a good leader.
You’re 37, you’ve got four kids and a degree in medical science. Aren’t you too old and clever to be a footballer?
I was at medical school for four years and the next step when I retire is to go and work on an internship in a hospital and decide what I want to specialise in. I could be a GP or a surgeon but I’ll probably end up working in sports medicine.
What’s your bedside manner like Dr De Zeeuw?
I don’t know yet, but seriously, I didn’t grow up wanting to be a doctor. I loved sport and school work was my last priority. One of my teachers advised me to become a bricklayer but I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to be a fighter pilot but I found out I was colour blind, so that went out of the window.
So, you’re a bit of a speed freak?
No, not any more. I’m a sensible family man, I drive an Audi A6. Lots of my team-mates have crazy cars with wheels that spin at traffic lights and all sorts, but I’m going to wait until my kids are a bit older and then I intend to get myself a lovely Porsche.
Finally, Doc, will you have any regrets when you hang up your boots and put on a white coat?
I would have loved to have played for Holland — maybe I paid the price for not being arrogant enough.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
True or false, you would be a stockbroker if you hadn’t become a footballer?
That’s kind of true. My parents made sure I worked hard at school when I was growing up and I was pretty good at maths — a lot of my friends work in the City now, in banking and insurance, so that’s probably where I would have ended up.
Your dad is Ray Clemence, the England goalkeeping legend. How did you manage to avoid going between the sticks when you were a youngster?
Goalkeeping is a bit of a mug’s game. You get blamed for everything that goes wrong. There would have been too much to live up to and I don’t think I could ever live up to my dad.
Did your dad put any pressure on you to become a footballer?
No, not at all. It’s just something that I always wanted to do. My dad never used to order me into the garden and force me to kick a ball against a wall for hours on end. He just made it clear how difficult it would be to make it, but I just loved playing the game.
You played for Tottenham Hotspur and Birmingham City in the top flight. Who was the best midfield player you came up against?
It’s hard to pick out one, so I’d have to go for Roy Keane, Patrick Vieira and Steven Gerrard.
Put it another way, which one of them would you like alongside you in the Leicester midfield?
Can’t we pick two of them and leave me in the stands?
Good answer. What are the chances of Leicester being promoted and you playing against Gerrard next season?
I wouldn’t have come here in the summer if I didn’t think that we could get promoted. There have been a lot of changes, but I still think we will be there or thereabouts. We’ve got the players, so now it’s just a question of doing the business on the pitch.
Finally, you’ve got a two-year-old son. Any chance of Jack following in your and your father’s footsteps?
Jack’s absolutely football mad and he loves dressing up in his Leicester kit. He wants to be like daddy, but I’m not going to push him into anything — just like my dad.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
Morning, Dean. First things first: is it true that you are the only man to have been shown three red cards in one game?
That’s a bit of myth. It was while I was up at Aberdeen. I think I got a red for a tackle, then I swore at the ref and got another one. I was summoned to the ref’s room after the game and I think I got another one because he said he was reporting me for two bad tackles, foul and abusive language and for punching the corner flag out.
So you’re not the kind of bloke who helps old ladies cross the road?
I don’t know about that. I’ve got a reputation as a tough guy, but I’m totally different off the pitch. When I cross the white line I’m doing my job and I’m aggressive, but I’m not daft.
So it’s not taking part that counts?
No, I’ve always hated losing, ever since I was at school. I wasn’t that clever, but I knew that I would be all right as long as I could read and write, say “please” and “thank you” and concentrate on my football.
You are a cult hero at Hull, but what was it like when your home-town club released you aged 18?
I was devastated, but it was the right decision because I was a late developer. I worked in a factory and on a building site and I definitely appreciated it more when I turned pro three years later.
So what perks of the job do you enjoy the most?
I’m into my cars. I used to have a Range Rover Sport, but everyone had one so I got a black/grey Audi Q7. Now they’re getting really popular, so I’m think it might be time for a change.
Any comment on the rumours that you are a closet Lionel Richie fan?
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of Lionel. Everyone is into rap and R&B these days, but I’m more a Seventies and Eighties type of guy. You can’t go wrong with the Beatles or The Jam. I always make sure A Town Called Malice is on in the dressing-room before games.
Finally, Dean, have you ever told anyone you loved them and not meant it?
No, not really. I’ve been married for 15 years and when you are young, you don’t use words like that.
Interview by Kaveh Solhekol
Afternoon Neil. True or false, you used to own a greengrocers in Barnsley called “The Orange Bowl”?
That’s true son. I used to work in the fruit and veg market in Barnsley so when I stopped playing I thought I’d give it a go. I got my mother-in-law at the time to run it, but there was no money in it, so I sold it. It’s a post office now.
No luck with fruit and veg then, is that why you become a chiropodist?
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being a chiropodist. I did it for about seven or eight years and I very much enjoyed it. I still look after my own feet but nobody else’s.
You must have got some stick in the Sheffield United dressing room for that. What did the players make of your habit of moisturising your face before kick-off?
Moisturising my face before going into the dugout? Where did you get that from? There’s nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser but only after I’ve had a shave in the morning.
Continue reading "QA: Neil Warnock" »
 Nickname The Big Man
Morning, Big Man. Watford struggled in the top flight last season. How confident are you that you can bounce straight back up? Two words: very confident.
You’re obviously feeling lucky. When was the last time you bought a lottery ticket? About four months ago. I was just browsing around on the internet and stumbled across the site and thought I’d treat myself.
When was the last time you slept in a tent? When I was in primary school. We used to go to a place called Goresbrook and go camping. That’s the only time I’ve ever slept in a tent.
What car do you drive? Black Range Rover Sport.
So what’s your favourite motorway? The M1. Luckily I’ve never once experienced traffic on it and when it’s clear you can pick up a bit of speed.
Who’s the best looking player at Vicarage Road? I’m not answering that. I’d never live it down in the dressing-room.
OK, what’s the last film you saw? Transformers. It was absolutely brilliant.
And the last CD you bought? Joe’s new album, Ain’t Nothing Like Me.
You’ve played for two of the most inspirational managers in the business, Adrian Boothroyd and Ian Holloway. Who gets your blood pumping the most? Aidy Boothroyd. He gets you going and he’s a good leader. That’s not to say that Ian Holloway wasn’t. They both have great traits that make them superb managers.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, say no more.
What three items would you want with you if you were shipwrecked alone on a desert island? My laptop — as long as it had a good battery supply — my mobile phone and a DVD.
Finally, Big Man, have you ever seen a ghost? No, can’t say that I have.
 Nickname The Bulldog
Afternoon Jimmy, so when can we expect to see you playing again? The doctors said it would take about 12 or 14 months when I did my knee last September. I’m running and turning now and, hopefully, I will be back in training in about eight weeks. The knee is feeling solid.
What was the last CD you bought? The new Arctic Monkeys one (Favourite Worst Nightmare). I like all kinds of music depending on what mood I’m in.
And what car do you drive? Range Rover Sport
Who’s got the nicest motor at Fulham? We’ve got some bad cars here — white Cadillac Escalades that look like ambulances and all sorts. Then there are the usual Aston Martins and Bentleys, so it’s tough to answer.
Who’s the worst dressed player? It has to be Bouba (Pape Bouba Diop). He’s into his African style and Versace, which looks terrible on him.
Now, apparently you could have been a professional golfer or a fisherman as well as a footballer. If you had the choice between scoring the winner in the Cup Final, winning the Open or catching a massive fish, which would it be? I’d like to do them all in one day, but I’ll probably have to go for scoring the winner in the Cup Final — actually make it the World Cup final, that would be even better. Winning the Open would be awesome and I might try to become a professional golfer when I retire. I know a couple of pros and they’re five or six shots better than me, but, in football terms, that’s like getting beat 5-0 every week.
Describe yourself in three words. Joker, hyper and lively.
When was the last time your Range Rover Sport got a parking ticket? I don’t think I’ve ever got one.
Have you ever cheated in an exam? I used to always cheat because I was rubbish at school, but I never got caught. My favourite was the old ‘looking over someone’s shoulder’ and copying what they’d written.
Do you avoid walking on cracks in the pavement? No, but I’m superstitious before games. I always put my left boot on first and I always drink a Red Bull before I go out on to the pitch.
Ever been on a blind date? Err no, never. I’m very happy with my girlfriend, thanks.
Finally, would you rather be rich and ugly or poor and beautiful? That’s quite a hard one. (Umms and aahs for about 20 seconds) I’d rather be rich and ugly. It doesn’t bother me the way I look to be honest as long as I’ve got a bit of money.
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Have you been out with any footballers since you became Miss England?
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