Watashi wa ... Charisma Man .... desu

Committed - and apparently rather angry - Asia Exile reader Andrew Milner posted the following comment below my last post.

Those 'international brand' malls in Tokyo (or even Karuizawa) can be better than a bar when it comes to "chatting up chicks". But don't waste your time with White women. They wouldn't respond even if you were the last man on earth on the earth's last day. Misogynist? Male chauvinist? What me? Just hard won experience. If White women don't dump feminism soon, the Caucasian race is en-route to being subsumed by Asia.

Whoooah, Andrew! Easy, Tiger! I throw the question open to readers of this blog, essay-style. "'White feminists are endangering the Caucasian race.' Discuss."

Is Andrew right that the Feminazis are losing the genetic race to lovely J-Chicks? Or could it be that Andrew - goodness, I hesitate to suggest it! - has allowed personal complications while "chatting up chicks" to colour his view of Womankind?

You, the committed reader, shall be the judge.

Pondering Andrew's observation, I was reminded of one of the most beloved and enduring figures of gaijin popular culture, the cartoon superhero, Charisma Man.

CM was born in Japanzine, currently the best English language monthly magazine, and his adventures have been collected in an indispensable book (pictured above).

The opening frames set the scene (Click on any of the images below for enlargement - I'm afrraid the first one is small):

"The eye altering alters all," wrote the great English poet and visionary, William Blake. For no one is this more true than for our hero.

Once in Japan, Charisma Man sets out along the well-trodden path of English-teaching, partying, and being regularly "subsumed" (as Andrew might out it) by Japanese lady friends. For all his missteps, he is consisent in one thing - his petulant whingeing about his host country.

Anyone who's spent time as a single man in Japan will recognise the syndrome. Do you know a Charisma Man?

Comments

[Alexandra Willoughby]

White women have adopted feminism in Asia - that could be true....But there is a very good rational for it. The way Asian men treat women enrages us. The way Western men falls for cheap bimbos demeans us. I am sure there is a doctoral thesis on the soaring of feminism in Western women in Asia coming soon....I was not a fan of that Greer woman before, considering feminism was a waste of time. Now living in Asia I see that they do have a point, a good point. And where are those lovely J-chicks that you talked about? I have been in Japan and Seoul for a long time and have not been able to see any girl that can be considered above average in looks. Vietnamese or Phillippinos girls are really lovely, but Japanese? Your taste has gone downhill, buddy.

[Richard Lloyd Parry]

Thank you for your comment. I notice that your email address is circe19. Am I mistaken, or was Circe a she-sorceress who turned men into animals with a wave of her wand ... ?

[Alexandra Willoughby]

Dear Richard

You are not mistaken. The animal in concern here is the pig.

[Jun Okumura]

Why you silly goose, Mr. Parry. How should any woman, let alone a hot sorceress, need a wand to turn a man into an animal?

And so, AMs. Willoughby (I assume that is your real name and gender and in no way looks like Mr. Parry's twin sister (you don't want to meet her) and thus will take you seriously), your beef is gainst Japanese men, Asian man, Western men, or all of the above?

Good luck, ma'am in Africa, the Northern Territories, and parts of Latin America, NZ, Australia, Polynesia, Melanesia...

[James]

It sounds like Miss Willoughby is either blind, bitter, or both. She makes sweeping generalizations about Japanese women not being attractive and then implies that a vast number of the Asian women that Western men fall for are "cheap bimbos." You're not going to achieve equality for women in Japan if that's the way you go about defining Japanese women.

Give me a break. The only thing demeaning you is your own jealous and bitter attitude, Alexandra.

[C.J. Creighton]

Charisma man exists and thrives in Japan. The phrase "From zero to hero" springs to mind.

The comic is great and I have never tired of what is basically one punch line over and over.

Since the hero is Charisma man there is not too much on the self-delusion of many Japanese women although the author does sometimes draw attention to the cunning and wiliness of other Japanese beauties at trapping a foreign boyfriend as a form of counting coups. Once he is a notch on their lipstick case and the novelty wears off...

Young western women generally have a shit time in Japan unless they become caught up in the whole cultural aspect of learning taiko or tea ceremony. All their evenings are more or less free.

On a slightly tangential note I'm wondering if anyone knows the title of the collection of letters between various Thai bar workers and their lovelorn foreign boyfriends. It has a bit more of an edge than Charisma Man and is as funny.

Cheers.

[NB]

> Alexandra Willoughby

So, according to you, it is distasteful to like any Japanese (or korean) woman because they are always below average in looks.
I'm sorry to say this, but you are a racist.

[Garrett]

It seems that a lot of Western women (although by no means all), especially during their first couple of years in Japan, either deal with Japanese men based on stereotypes (all Japanese guys just have to be typical salarymen) or are just not into Japanese guys for some other reason, which leaves them competing for a relatively small number of Western guys - most of whom don't share this aversion to the locals. The end result is that some women who might not want to be dateless are. The unfortunate result is that, in addition to not having a date, they turn on any Japanese woman they see as competition.

Comments along the lines of "Japanese girls are bimbos" or "no Japanese girl is above average-looking" do indeed smack of a certain racism born of bitterness, which may be coming about because of some absurd notion that every Japanese guy is going to be exactly the same or that white men should date white women.

The "Feminazism" thus born takes on a decidedly illiberal tenor and is really more prejudice along the lines of Ms. Willoughby's than any kind of progressive or feminist stance.
The feminism mentioned in this article is targeted at the young women of an entire country, regardless of any actual traits they may possess.

On the other hand, it is, of course, true that Charisma-Men, and worse, abound.

[Mark Bellis]

The book C.J. is looking for is "Hello My Big Big Honey" eds Dave Walker and Richard S. Ehrlich, (2000). I agree with Alexandra that Japanese women on average are not as good looking as those from neighboring countries and they do act like cheap bimbos in that they fawn over men as depicted in the cartoons, and some Japanese men do act in ways that would make Henry VIII look like a sensitive new age guy.

The American poet Richard Brautigan thought that all Japanese women were beautiful gentle angels, but he had an unhappy marriage with a Japanese woman, and he blew his brains out shortly after he met her again in San Francisco. So let that be a lesson to you - date Japanese women and you'll shot yourself.

[Jun Okumura]

Which gives me great idea for a terecura (dating service facilities that match you up over the phone with potential girl/boy friends; or so I've heard; Mr. Parry?) ad:

"Japanese Woman! For a Mind-Blowing Experience!"

[raincoaster]

Sounds like practical advice.

While the misogynist/feminist cage match is a classic, haven't we all seen it a hundred times? We know how it ends; in whining on both sides. Let's just fast-forward past it, shall we?

I'm as white as can be: I'm even Canadian! But I don't really give a rat's ass about the fate of the Caucasian race, nor do I think that most people who can walk on their hind legs unassisted care either.

It is worth noting that Charisma Man (or woman, for that matter) syndrome works all over the world, for all races; all you have to do is go far enough from home and suddenly you become exotic. I was at a pub in Vancouver and the waiter, who was from Ireland, was practicing his Canadian accent while trying to chat up some girls. I tipped him off that he should play the Irish for all it was worth and he had cause to thank me later.

Did y'all not see Love, Actually?

[Gilman]

Is there anywhere in Asia where you are safe from arguments about the way that western (read white) men have it so easy in the far east? Yes, it is true that a lot of guys get fat heads and suddenly start to think they are sex gods as soon as they get off the plane. Yes, it is also true that a lot of people who would be considered nobodies in their home countries suddenly find themselves the centre of attention over here. The thing that strikes most western women here is that they always assumed that the menfolk of the west ascribed to the same set of feminist-based values that they do. When they discover that given half the chance most western men would rather behave like boorish misogynistic pigs only interested in their next conquest this comes as quite a shock to them. However, western men only behave like this because the way they are treated by some Asian women allows them to act like this. In their eyes western men have higher status and many find the 'mysteries of the occident' appealing. But western men are not the only ones to behave like this, within Asia Japanese men in China and Taiwanese men in Vietnam also behave like this. Nor are western women in countries where they are particular well treated, such as in latin America or the Carribean, above suddenly coming down with a bad case of the 'white goddess' syndrome. In short, the arrogant behaviour of men who have let constant flattery give them an overly high opinion of themselves is no reason to give up on mankind.

[Jun Okumura]

"Charisma-Orphans"

raincoaster reminds me:

In the early nineties, I took a business trip to London, then Stockholm, where we found the time to take a leisurely stroll through the city with our Japanese resident-chaperon. On that lovely autumn afternoon, we would come across several late-middle-aged couples, Caucasians all, each accompanied by a small Asian child. I think the children were mostly girls, though I'd be happy to be corrected. According to my host, they were Korean children of single mothers, who had been adopted by Swedish couples. The pale people of Ingrid Bergman, the Swedish Bikini Team and Mrs. Tiger Woods (as well as those fabulous male tennis stars of yore) were inexorably drawn to the lustrous flow of the fuligin mane of the Far East.

I still wonder how much of the last comment (Swedish Bikini Team and Mrs. Tiger Woods my additions) from my short, chunky, Japanese host had come from personal experience. But then, there was that time, on my business trip to Bergen… ah, youth and memories; buy me another drink, me lad, and I'll tell ye that one too. But back to work…

[Cultural Snow]

It's tempting to extrapolate realities from examples, and I know a number of farang men who've come to Thailand (and elsewhere) and formed wonderful, mutually supportive relationships with local women.

However, I've also encountered plenty of men who come here, having been scalded by relationships in the West, who want a woman who will be economically dependent, will wash and cook to order, and won't object when he goes out drinking and picking up bargirls.

Now, is this the fault of Western women? Or does it just illustrate that some men are emotionally-stunted misogynists who still think that Emmeline Pankhurst was a dangerous troublemaker?

(The increasing phenomenon of Western women going to Gambia or Jamaica to sleep with local men is an interesting flipside to the whole scenario.)

[Katrina]

Alexandra is extremely ignorant of the perception of Japanese or Korean women outside of the Western world. From what I have experienced in growing up in South-East Asia, looking Japanese is the pinnacle of desired Asian beauty. Possessing fair skin, higher incidences of 'double eye-lids' (or the ability to perform the cosmetic surgery for this) 'taller' noses, e.t.c, whilst still preserving oriental features - anyone having lived in South East Asia will know what I'm talking about.

You said that the Asian men treat women badly. Following your logic, would this not make 'Western' men more appealing to Japanese women who do not wish to be stereotypically subject to such treatment (although obviously there is no guarantee of how one will be treated by race alone)?

You act as if only white women have a 'right' to white men in Japan because Japanese women are stereotypically cheap bimbos. Who are you to dictate the relationships/flings Western men enter into because they 'suddenly' find themselves far more attractive as an expat than they are at home, even if SOME Japanese women do display a preference for Westerners, albeit in a manner you consider distasteful?

How does your perception of the attractiveness of Japanese women procure such an implied 'injustice'? It doesn't. No one cares about your perception, and rightly so.

Is this due to the phenomenon of perceived increase in attractiveness did not occur to you? Your reason for this is due to being a Caucasian woman in Japan per se? As mentioned before, much of your argument stems from jealousy.

[Alexandra Willoughby]

I am not a feminist. Never will be. I am just see their point of view more clearly now. When all your values, education and culture are disregarded by the people surrounding you on an hourly basis, you have to hold on to something, you need a framework to fight back. Please don't tell me that Western men don't have crosses to bear while living in Asia.

I do come across as being bitter but not because I am jealous of the local women. I am the last person to have problem dating in this continent or anywhere else.

[timothy]

If you go into the British Embassy and visit the passport section you will see a fascinating wall. Future marriages between Brit boys and Japanese gals are posted for the purpose of the 'bans'; does anyone oppose this marriage?
While waiting for my Japanese girlfriend's daughter's application [ it's a long story] I perused the biographies on the wall. The average age of the bride to be was 32. The groom; 28.
I think Japanese women very clever.

[Alexandra Willoughby]

This is a reply to Katrina's post. I am very much aware about the false conception in SEA that Japanese women are the pinacle of Asian beauty. In Vietnam, people have a say that runs like this:"the luckiest man on earth lives in America, in an European style house and has a Japanese wife" When they think a VN girl is pretty, they would say she looks Japanese. However very few of them have ever been out of their country and most of them do not know what an average Japanese girl looks like. Anyway, Asian poeple have very very different ideas about beauty from Westerners. For example, when I was in VN, talking to people I gathered that most VNmese thought that Angelina Jolie was rather ugly due to her lips and not-so-pure white looks.

Now if you ask expats either male or female who live/visit both SEA and Japan about their sincere and objective opinions about Japanese girls, you will very likely to find that most of them have the same idea as mine.

[Gilman]

Alexandra - Why don't you post a photograph of yourself and show those misogynistic male expats what they're missing out on?

Ms Willoughby states, in a response, that, "I have been in Japan and Seoul for a long time and have not been able to see any girl that can be considered above average in looks. Vietnamese or Phillippinos girls are really lovely, but Japanese? Your taste has gone downhill, buddy", and, somewhat arrogantly, "if you ask expats either male or female who live/visit both SEA and Japan about their sincere and objective opinions about Japanese girls, you will very likely to find that most of them have the same idea as mine." Thew first comment is insulting, not only to the taste of someone who finds Asian ladies attractive but more importantly to all Japanese ladies; and, the latter is not only a generalisation but such a sweeping statement that it is hard to believe, unless Ms Willoughby moves in limited circles of like-minded people. I have no idea where you are from originally, although I might guess, but frankly my dear I don't give a damn and I suspect that is your feminist side erupting in your comments. Besides, beauty is not only skin deep but it is also in the eye of the beholder. Get a grip or loosen your knicker elastic!

[Kenneth Armitage]

In her letter Ms Willoughby states, "I have been in Japan and Seoul for a long time and have not been able to see any girl that can be considered above average in looks. Vietnamese or Phillippinos girls are really lovely, but Japanese? Your taste has gone downhill, buddy", and, "if you ask expats either male or female who live/visit both SEA and Japan about their sincere and objective opinions about Japanese girls, you will very likely to find that most of them have the same idea as mine." The former is insulting to men who find Japanese ladies attractive but more importantly offensive to Japanese ladies; and the latter is a generalisation and sweeping statement that cannot be quantified and one has to assume Ms Willoughby moves in limited circles. I have no idea where Ms Willoughby hails from originally, although I might guess, but those comments are her feminist streak erupting. Besides, beauty is not only skin deep but it is also in the eye of the beholder. Get a grip or loosen your knicker elastic Ms Willoughby.

[Betty]

Alexandra writes: "I am not a feminist. Never will be. I am just see their point of view more clearly now."

I'd love to hear what your definition is of a 'feminist', then. I'm a feminist because I believe that I should be getting paid the same wage as the schmuck in the next cubicle if we're doing the same job. Strangely enough, my landlord, all the utility companies I'm paying each month, the car loans people and my educational institute don't seem to want to give me a 15% discount just because I'm a woman so why should I be expected to work at only 85% of a male's salary if I'm doing equal work and equal paying of bills?

My husband didn't realize how much of a feminist he was until I pointed out that the reason why he can get bigger and better toys is because he doesn't have to make up such a huge wage gap between what I would be earning at my job now vs. if there weren't any of us 'feminists' around to point out this inequality.

Hey... the logic works for him, maybe it could work for Alexandra?

On the other hand, the comments re: Korean and Japanese women only being average looking vs. Vietnamese or Phillippino women don't sound 'racist' to me but rather a simple physical preference. I doubt people here would be screaming 'racist' if the topic had been the preference of blonde northern Europeans vs. southern European Latin women... .

But back to the topic at hand. What I've been finding so interesting is the dearth of discussion in popular culture about why Japanese men and Western women make such a small percentage of couples - even among the Western women who spend years living in Japan. Or even why they don't seem to coexist very happily as friends, much less getting into intimate relationships. Almost *everything* is about Western men and Japanese women. But I very *very* seldom hear about the reverse - it's almost like it's an orphan amongst Western-Asian phenomena.

I actively read about 12 blogs of Japanese-residing Westerners and about three or four are females. All the males - ALL the males (including the gay one), are married to Asian women met there or have been in long-term relationships with Asians or date (a lot) of Japanese women. The female bloggers; a date, much less a relationship? Very few and very far between. But I haven't been able to have a good read about why this is so rare.

Damned it.

[john gregory Flinn]

"The way Asian men treat women enrages us. The way Western men falls for cheap bimbos demeans us."

I'm sure Sigmund Freud would have judged this revealing of something obsessive in women's thinking. And I'm equally sure oriental women do not think this way, (my Korean wife does'nt). Perhaps feminists would like it to become a doctrine, but that would be totalitarian and may illustrate Andrew's point.
Oriental women know men respond to flattery and vanity, but they do not judge them for it. They simply turn it to their advantage with their acquired skills of diplomacy, patience and submissiveness such as an occidental woman might never contemplate.

When I was working in the far east - mainly Korea and Japan - I met a lot of "Charisma Man" types. They were mostly Americans, but also, in Korea many were Japanese.
We did'nt call them CMs then - just expats.
It was (and is) the same in Taiwan and Thailand. I've been told its spreading to mainland China now, and even British ethnic Chinese are thinking of going back to retire in style.
It's a growth industry!

[Mark Mead]

I am not sure how long Andrew Milner has been living in self-imposed exile, however like all ex-pats the single white female in Japan have their own stories to tell, it's just that they tend to make a living out of this simple task. It would be wrong for me to tar all Caucasian females living in Japan with the same brush. There are obviously single white female staff from diplomatic corps, through to banking who quite legitimately adhere to the terms of their visas, but these tend to be minority. A quick trawl through the fleshpots of Roppongi and Shinjiku reveals flocks of swf just waiting for their next easy prey of salaryman. Once snared, the swf tend to relieve the gullible victim of as much Yen as humanly possible, which in many cases turns out to be a thirty minutes chat in English, usually about the weather. Therefore, Andrew, next time you feel the urge to approach that lonesome white female, just remember to hold onto your wallet. In addition, for goodness sake look up and open your eyes. If you cannot spot more that 10 beautiful Japanese women within 2 minutes of being in any shopping mall, then I am afraid you are a lost cause to humanity.

[Alex Grey]

I think most of us in this discussion have lost focus here...The question was, do white feminists propel endanger the Caucasian race?

I say, yes and no. After WWII, women have been slowly immersing themselves into the force, and supporting a family has cut down the necessary participants to just the one. A lot of guys out there whether or not they'll admit it hate having a wife that brings home the bacon, or yet even, the whole damn grocery store.

Not to mention the changing views women have about themselves promotes them to exude a more assertive nature. Men can't walk all over women like they used to this day and age. But socially, Asian women haven't gotten quite that far yet. So if a guy wants a wife that will shut up and look pretty/cook/clean/take care of the kids, he need not look in America.

But the ultimate factor that "endangers" the Caucasian race, or any race for that matter, is the fact that the world is more connected than it used to be. It takes less time to travel, communicate, mail, etc., and we all are aware that there are other people out there.
Take the Spanish explorers in the "New World." Many of them took Latin American wives when they travelled to South and Central America. Who knows, maybe they found these native women more attractive than the ones back home. Maybe there were feminists intimidating and annoying the men. Or maybe men were just too tired of waiting for female contact while staying aboard a ship for months.

Even many Americans are mixing more so than matching. While the majority of American couples are racially homogeneous, you've got more interracial relationships now than in the last 200 years.

Let's not forget that there's this underlying taboo of going against the grain and dating outside one's race. And I am a firm believer in that a good number of human beings have this innate desire to do something wrong so long as they can get away with it, given the opportunity.

So we could point fingers at chauvinist men and feminist women for "coloring" the white race. But I say it was bound to happen sooner or later. Because it's not just happening with Caucasians, it's happening everywhere. And people are getting mad, but there's nothing anyone can do about it and there's nothing wrong with it either. Maybe in 500 years the races will be so mixed up that racism and prejudice isn't so widespread.