The great collateralised-sub-prime-credit-crunch 2008 Cherry Blossom Haiku competition!
The Nikkei crashes. A worthless broker bullshits: "it's all sentiment"
Now, the haiku above - generated within the very bosom of the Urban Dirt household in classic 5-7-5 syllable form - is just a taster of the sort of thing we're looking for this year. The haiku below came to me in a bar last week as two clowns from a bank around the corner attempted to mock the tank-top that Mrs Urban Dirt gave me for my birthday.
Sales trading: a job for trained monkeys or MAs - take your pick, Lehman...
To recap: Cherry Blossom season for Tokyo is probably only three weeks away. Every year, The Times
Tokyo bureau celebrates this classic moment of ephemeral Japanorama by visiting the grave of one of the very first Tokyo correspondents of The Times in Aoyama Cemetery. A delightful, Chu-Hi-soaked annual event - often washed to oblivion by the rain - to which Urban Dirt readers are cordially invited (assuming you can locate the tomb of Captain Francis Brinkley).
Tokyo's bold plan: Global Financial Centre! Just taking the piss...
Now the tradition at these events is for a series of haiku to be read - reflecting the hot topics of the year: in this case, the abomination of world credit markets, the subprime meltdown, the insanity of the Japanese government and the (temporary?) end of the good times for the lads and lasses in pinstripes.
They can be gloomy:
Twenties New York: "Car for sale - lost all on stocks"...History repeats.
Or annoyed:
Triple-A credit...Oh why did we trust those lies? That would be the greed...
Or thoughtful:
What's "margin call" dad? Will private equity go like the dinosaurs?
We are looking for the usual perfection of the 5-7-5 stanza, though a more freewheeling approach to the genre is naturally acceptable. Answers to this blog by March 30th. Large cans of peach Chu-Hi to be won!
Forex broker dude
Fantastically good-looking
A bronzed Adonis
Posted by: Teal'c | 11 Mar 2008 02:21:48
Mrs. Urban Dirt
Gucci Prada Armani
Mini firecracker
Posted by: Name witheld in fear | 11 Mar 2008 06:58:55
American Idiot By Green Day
Posted by: Caner Mustafa | 11 Mar 2008 19:56:32
Tank tops--best steer clear.
Sleeveless fashions are for girls;
suicide for blokes.
Posted by: aragoto | 12 Mar 2008 03:00:08
Lambo drivers all
Seek willy compensation
In their wedge-shaped rides
Posted by: aragoto | 12 Mar 2008 03:02:41
Turkey Research Team
now brings to mind asset class
instead of country
Posted by: aragoto | 12 Mar 2008 07:21:08
Investment banker
Can't fit in his little Porsche
Who ate all the pies?
Posted by: Teal'c | 12 Mar 2008 15:43:04
Ha - said forex dude's
shoo-in for pie Olympics;
shoehorned into car
Posted by: aragoto | 14 Mar 2008 02:33:14
Japan market:left
Down 50% and more
I should have turned right
Posted by: Bonty | 14 Mar 2008 06:01:57
Cannot hide loss
My bonus is written off
Hate mark to market
Markets crash all round
My bonus still very high
Love mark to model
Posted by: Elizabeth | 14 Mar 2008 12:08:56
greed way beyond need
as lemmings they rush onwards
over the top lads
Posted by: yusoshi | 15 Mar 2008 14:40:30
no wish to offend
but prize is ****ing awful
keep your peach chu-hi
Posted by: yusoshi | 15 Mar 2008 14:46:47
J-girl laugh at me
Because I work Japan firm
HAHA! who laugh now?
Posted by: SUgihara | 17 Mar 2008 06:53:31
Sugihara - you wouldn't happen to be the guy from Sinocidal would you?
Mansion built on sand
Falls due to lack of vision
What solid foundations?
Posted by: FOARP | 23 Mar 2008 13:32:21