Official: the world's worst wind farm

There is a scene in Peter Sellers' A Shot in The Dark, which, no matter how many times I re-watch it, leaves me helpless and wheezing with laughter. For many years, I have fondly believed that nothing would ever be quite as funny as Clouseau's attempts to play billiards with the warped cue.

Until today.

A single picture [right]. Nothing special, I imagine you're thinking, but in fact weepingly funny.

You see, two years ago, I went to see this unhappy wind generator in the Japanese city of Tsukuba - the place where scientists tinker around with space rockets, robot suits, radio-controlled insects and a whole load of other brilliant gubbins. It is, supposedly, a city that represents the absolute cutting-edge of Japanese technology and innovation - and is very, very generously funded by the taxpayer to be exactly that.

Which is why it was all the more insane that the city should have become the site for the World's Worst Wind Farm. As I reported at the time, the utterly dismal urban wind farm - a collection of specially made generators dotted about the city - had an unquestionably fatal flaw. Tsukuba is a city with virtually no wind. Not a breath in summer, and strangely calm even during Japan's howling typhoon season.

The mad effect of this little oversight is that the expensive generators generated absolutely nothing. Not a single watt of output. To make matters worse, the embarrassed local government was so ashamed of the ill-researched waste of public funds that it started to run power to the sails and have the generators work in reverse - turning the sails to make it look like they were being blown by the non-existent gale.

For two years, it looked as though the Worthless Wind Farm would just sink into that bottomless pit of farce that has been filled, over the years, with pointless Japanese wastes of money. A joke yes, but ultimately on us. But suddenly, yesterday, there was a big gust of wind.

Finally! The kids rushed out of their schools, the elderly twitched their curtains in awed appreciation and the good folk of Tskuba charged into the streets to see their folly at last doing what it was supposed to. Except that, as it now turns out, the Worthless Wind Farm has a second, more ridiculous flaw: it can't withstand a light breeze. And lo, in what I believe is the funniest photograph ever, we have the twisted metal wreckage of one of the Tsukuba windmills - bent out of shape and twisted beyond repair by a gust you could barely fly a kite in.

Lovely.

Comments

[Tim]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

In fact, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm solly they so sirry!!

[canadagood]

Yes. That is Japan. I do love the place and have visited the country three times. The details of looking good are very important there but they do fall down on the details sometimes. It is tragic how many Japanese cultural wonders have piles of trash blowing across the yard or are hemmed in by garish neon and concrete.

I even attended the Tsukaba World's Fair in 1985. I remember some wonderful looking buildings and an immense outdoor video screen. I took a few nice photos; but I have no recall of anything actually inside any of the buildings. It was far from Tokyo hotels, the crowds were sparce and of course there were very few foreigners at this international event.

I wonder i fpart of the problem is the essential disposability of Japanese society? In generations past everything was built to last eons. But everything in Japan is no designed for instant disposal. This is a country where it is extremely rare to see a ten year old car so I expect that it also makes sense to make windmills just designed to look good when visitors appear. Too bad that even that does not work.

[claytonian]

here's an idea: delete racist comments.

[Christopher Brown]

Not even close to being as funny as what Peter Sellers could do with a bent cue stick. But the Peter Sellers reference did make me click through and read the non-funny article, so I guess it did its job.

[Charles Farrugia]

I saw Shot in the Dark ages ago. But I still remember how I laughed. Clutching my sides with laughter and hoping they would
stop the film so I could continue to enjoy it
when I had recovered from my latest bout of
merriment.

A unique experience

[sarah Havemeyer]

No dumber or funnier than the ineptness of FEMA trying its best to help people after Katrina. Remember all the trailers stacked like cordwood far from where they were needed? And, the ice trucks inexplicably sent to do loops around the country while victims along the Gulf Coast sweltered? God help my poor country the next time some part of it has a large scale natural disaster, for FEMA can't.

[M. R.]

Can't they take turns blowing or something?

[FAN OF]

Quote..."here's an idea: delete racist comments".

Posted by: claytonian | 4 Apr 2008 15:06:35

Actually, it's called "parody" NOT racism, it's universal, and long since accepted by most in the world as being universally funny, to parody the way in which other people speak foreign languages, it has always been used in humor, jest, entertainment, the movies, books/literature, etc, it's PARODY, MAAAAAAAAAN, for god sakes, so leave bloody racism out of it, and get a life....\0/...Sheeeeeeesh..!!!

[Tom Brown]

Parody my a@#e.
Calling it racist or not is irrelevant.
The only thing of importance, is that Tim's comment was highly offensive to millions of people.
I have lived and worked in Japan and my wife is Japanese. Until I saw Tim's comment I was intending to forward a link to this story to my wife. This would have been to her enjoyment and enlightenment. Now that I have seen this comment attached - how can I send her a link to something that will offend and upset her?

[Bob Anan]

Yeah, man, hilarious. Wind is so stupid. I'm off to drive my Hummer around the block.

[roboticist]

personally, i'll leave Tim out of it. I copied the text and pasted it into the body of the email I forwarded to my friends. Why do we insist on expending more energy on the waste than on the technology? Have we not YET learned our lesson?!

[Alex Wolf]

My god people:

Have we gotten SO politically correct that making fun of an accident is now racist?

Certainly, people in almost every country routinely make fun of other accents, including those of the US.

You people so hurt by this are the real problem. PC speach standards are getting worse and worse by the day and you here who have posted your revoltion at a simple joke about an ACCENT are among the vanguard of that horrendous movement!

If you can't deal with speach, how the hell can you deal with REAL issues? Pansies.

[Engrish Teacher]

See http://www.engrish.com for some vely sirry Engrish.

Engrish teacher.

[Stephen]

Don't laugh too much.
Equally ridiculous structures are being erected all over the UK and more will be built offshore.
They only work intermittently and have to be backed up by alternative generators to cover the situation when no wind blows. The duplication of resources means that their carbon debt is greater than if they were coal fired stations and their owners laugh all the way to the bank with state subsidised profits.
Another own goal Gordon. Keep up with the cheesey smiles though - ninety % of the electorate are too thick to understand the economics and it may get you a few more votes - but not enough. Your on your way out.
Now that is something to laugh about.

[Al]

Maybe they were built by Yamahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Wakarimasen]

Like the Tokyo traffic wardens (the new ones in green) who don't keep the street clear of obstructively parked cars but ticket scooters parked out of the way. Or the endless tapes and barriers that block off all sorts of exits/entrances in buildings - abunai desu kara!! Or the way security works in most of the office buildings in Marunouchi.
Form over substance is the way forward!