A fistful of Wobarrdy-Prikkdy...

"Wobarrdy-Prikkdy"...

A lesser baronet from a Jeeves and Wooster episode? A small duchy in southern Belgium that has violently declared independence? The sort of complaint that would prompt a doctor to lower his half-moon spectacles and yell "nurse, the screens!"?

Well, perhaps not. But it is, I confidently predict, a mouthful for which we will all soon be forced to slacken our jaws and perfect our pronunciation. To some, it will be a potential panacea for a world on the brink of food-price cataclysm and inflationary madness. For others, a neologism of peace and stability for our strange and troubled political times. 

For yet others it will be a bold slogan of change - the rallying-call for a new Asian Century that owes nothing to the pinstriped pig-doggery and safari-suited colonial presumption of the West.

You what?" I hear you ask. So, there was a marvellous throwaway line in some of the weekend coverage of the Asia Development Bank's recent beano in Madrid. In the headlines, of course, there was the fairly important story about a proposed emergency currency fund - a suggested pot of about $80 billion that would start as a useful little buffer against volatility but ultimately create a munificent financial manipulator not totally unlike the International Monetary Fund.

What you have to remember is that there are plenty of Asian countries that put on a good show of  things but fundamentally detest the IMF. The way some veterans in places like Indonesia and Thailand see things, they were faithfully following the IMF's somewhat bulldozed recipe for success when the wheels flew off so spectacularly in the Asian financial crisis 10 years ago. Bygones and all that, but I was interested to hear from one of my pals at the Asia Development Bank just how popular the idea of establishing a competing Asian IMF is - especially with the Chinese (power, soft diplomacy) and the less developed portions of the region (power, less humiliating negotiations).

But what also came up was the rather punchy suggestion that this $80 billion fund might somehow form the kernel of what could one day become a SINGLE ASIAN CURRENCY. Wow. Not something I'd really heard uttered in a serious context before, but there you go. I mean, given how far we are from forging any decent free trade agreements in this part of the world, the idea of a single Asian currency is probably one to let the still-unborn great, great grandchildren worry about. I've not spoken to Teal'c (the font of all forex knowledge) on the subject, but I think I'll give it a few more weeks before unwinding my Ringitt-Kiwi punt...

But what the hell! The Single Asian Currency idea is now out there, and the putative currency desperately needs a pro forma name until a real (doubtless boring) one is devised. Urban Dirt has a suggestion, involving the first letters of all the existing legacy Asian currencies (with a few strategic vowels). Thus:

Won (Wo), Baht (Ba) Ruppee (R), Rupiah (R) Dong (D) Yuan (Y) - Peso (P) Riel (Ri) Kyat (K), Kip (K), Dollar (D) and Yen (Y).

Clearly the Wobarrdy-Prikkdy banknotes would take some fairly diplomatic designing and would probably end up physically enormous. Far, far too big for normal wallets. I mean, imagine the cumulative loss of face in a dozen Asian countries if their own unique nationalist contribution to the glorious new monetary unit were slightly less prominent than a neighbour's...

Yes, there will be insurmountable problems, arguments - even wars over this currency. But at least we have a name. So prepare yourself, dollar and euro. Tremble before the insane financial might of the Wobarrdy-Prikkdy...

Comments

[aragoto]

The similarity that comes first to mind, especially given the size, is from Douglas Adams -- the Ningi, a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side.

[FOARP]

Where's the Pataca?

And how old is that first currency picture? One thousand Taiwanese dollar notes haven't had Chiang Kai-Shek (AKA Peanut Head) on them for ten years at least.