Urban Dirt - Times Online - WBLG

Japan's Cartoon Cabinet

As a genuine fan of manga, anime and all things geeky, I've always suspected that Taro Aso's professed love of comics was a bit of a sham: a flint-hearted bit of politicking by a 68-year old blue-blood who probably, in his heart, thinks that Akihabara should be torn down and a statue of an Imperial Army general put in its place.

(The contract for the work, by the way, would form a central pillar of his "Let's Economy! Let's Pork Barrel!" campaign...)

But now the calculating nationalist has actually been made Prime Minister of Japan it is time the self-proclaimed otaku put his manga where his mouth is. Come on Taro, if you love cartoons so much, get them to run the place. If it would help, Urban Dirt has a few suggestions...

Finance Minister: Monkey D. Luffy - One Piece

Why? Rubber-limbed hero who spends his life in search of elusive treasure and can literally "stretch" to anything. Mr Aso wants to stimulate the economy with gargantuan public spending? Monkey is the man: public debt at 180% of GDP is NOTHING when you consider how far this new minister will extend himself and the rest of the country in search of ill-deserved doubloons...

Foreign Minister: Obake no-Qtaro

Why? The perfect choice as Japan attempts to assert itself on the international stage - a gutless ghost capable of disappearing at a moment's notice. Desperate for that permanent seat on the UN Security Council, but upset that everyone keeps blocking Japan? Problem solved. Obake just skims under the door of the meeting room and sits invisibly at the back pretending the world is taking Japan seriously.

Defence Minister: Amuro Ray - Mobile Suit Gundam

Why? Could have been any number of ultra-violent cartoon Japanese nationalists with a taste for oversized and cripplingly expensive weaponry. Golgo13 was an early choice, as was Northstar Ken, but apparently Aso felt that the job required the subtle touch of a towering, battle-hardened robot under the control of a troubled and unpredictably young lad. Untainted by historical bid-rigging scandals at the ministry, but still represents the most expensive military hardware ever conceived by mankind...

Transport Minister: Shotaro Kaneda - Akira

Why? Who better than the delinquent leader of a post-apocalyptic motorbike gang to solve Japan's  transport problems as the nation ages and the old bubble-era road infrastructure starts to crumble? Known to have strong views on toll increases, petrol tax hikes and the 100km speed limit on expressways. Has never knowingly used public transport.

Health Minister: Black Jack

Why? Who better to lead Japan through the sagging degeneration of its health system and the appalling strain of demographic decline than a maverick surgeon with scars all over his face? Astonishing feats of surgery all performed for the kudos rather than the money is precisely the sort of doctoring Japan needs. 

More suggestions welcome...

So what exactly DID make Fukuda resign?

In the world’s biggest economy, the job of running the show is something you would sell your soul to Beelzebub to possess. The White House is like Tolkien’s One True Ring in its ability to provoke covetousness, conflict and face-twisting extremes of emotion.

And absolutely rightly so. It is a prize of unparallelled worth and one which, once obtained, is ceded only under the most extreme circumstances. You scream to take the job and you scream when people try to take it away. US Presidents have been killed for what they were, how they got there and the astonishing power they wielded.

The passionate oratory of Obama, the flint-brained tenacity of McCain, the twists and turns of who has raised what in terms of campaign finance. The sanity of their choices of running mates. The nuance, the fight, the mudslinging, the depravity, the visible rawness of ambition...the tooth and claw thrill of it all.

In the world’s second biggest economy, meanwhile, the job of running the show is something you would ditch in a second if there was something good on television that night.