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An Aso goes to Washington

Well done indeed, Japan. Your economy is in abominable retreat, your public hates your government with the heat of a billion stars and your finance minister has been forced out of power in what, for legal reasons, we probably have to describe as a "liquidity crisis".

And yet, somehow, Taro Aso has managed to blag, on Japan's behalf, the absolutely best ticket in town:  next week he will become the first foreign leader to visit Barack Obama's White House. It was Hillary's invitation, by the way, which means it is just possible it represents her revenge for, well, Obama winning the Democratic nomination and all that...

And as the Great Aso prepares to ride his donkey to Washington, we can only wonder aloud at the sort of conversations that may be going on in the Oval Office

President Barack Obama (leaning back on chair finishing whispered phone conversation with his broker)...that's right, Chuck, I said sell everything - Toyota, Toshiba, NTT, I just want my portfolio the hell out of Japan. What? Oh OK, maybe keep a little bit of Mitsubishi Heavy in the bag, we never know when we're going to call on those guys to build us some nukes.

(The door opens and the president's Chief of Staff strolls in)

Obama: (startled)....er, er and as I was saying Mr, er, Enkhbaya, God bless the people of Mongolia! Yay. Yup...yup...yup...OK, bye. Yup...bye.

(looks up nervously at C.O.S) Sorry, you just can't get that guy off the phone.

C.O.S: (looking mildly sceptical) Um, right sir. Anyway, sir, I think that may be a wrap for today. There is just one thing (checks down his list of memos)...Hillary seems to have invited the Japanese prime minister over for dinner here next week.

Obama: Great! Great! Great news. That'll be great. Japan. Yeah. Great allies. Firm friends of America. Sure, sure. (Slightly flustered) Er, who, um, who's running Japan this week?

COS (Checking his memos) um, let me see here...oh yes, Aso. Taro Aso.

Obama: Aso! That's right.  And why are we so keen to have him round in the White House next week?

COS: Uh, because sir, we're not altogether sure he's going still be Prime Minister the week after that. You see, this is one of those very rare, golden opportunities with Japan when we actually know who the prime minister is at any given moment. We have to seize the moment, sir.

Let he who is without gin cast the first stone

Urban Dirt's two cents on the Sloshed Supremo is running on Timesonline, but here it is again for the benefit of UD subscribers.

For a few hours on Sunday, it seemed that Shoichi Nakagawa might get away with his mangled moments  at that press conference in Rome. Why? Because democracy in Japan simply wasn’t working.

The now infamous footage of his pathetic battle with chemistry was only a short, barely analysed, story towards the end of the news. Japanese people went to bed with the usual “shikata ga nai” – “it can’t be helped” – shrug of the shoulders and a satisfied sense that all politicians are basically idiots.

Even when they woke to read the papers, Mr Nakagawa’s crime seemed fairly minor – mainly because the local press was loyally buying the official spin about cough mixture and jetlag. The Japanese public shrugged again and satisfied themselves with the words of an ancient Japanese proverb: “tabi no haji wa kaki shite” – “the traveller discards his sense of shame”. The Finance Minister’s disgrace, after all, took place thousands of miles away.

But then, partly courtesy of the internet, it all turned sour. Certainly, the millions of clicks on the online footage of the incident made Mr Nakagawa’s position more untenable by the second. But the public was riled by something even more infuriating: the way that the mainstream Japanese media was dealing with the story.