There once was corpulent banker...

Ah yes, spring. A time for cherry blossoms, baby lambs, chocolate eggs and the hysterical, ulcerated mockery of our recessionary spiral and the clowns that thrust us into it. 

Urban Dirt is thoroughly enjoying all this talk of "nascent growth" and "hockey stick recoveries" but I don't really want all the fun of a depression to be over before budding poets have had a chance to express their bile. Normally, this annual competition demands lyricists craft their entries as haiku. This year, in keeping with the lunacy of world events, it will demand they come in the majestic form of the limerick .

UD has composed a few to set the and tone of this year's jollity. Some may refer specifically to current affairs:

A despicable banker called Fred, made a serious bundle of bread. By filling his cap full of mortgage-backed crap, leaving RBS deep in the red.

Others could ridicule an entire class:

A "Sir Humphrey" hopeful called Wyn, failed all of the tests to get in. So he worked for a fund that became moribund, now he empties a bureaucrat's bin.

From the wreckage of Wall St will soar, a new definition of "poor": no more champagne or coke, for these penniless folk as the banker, once king, turns to whore.

"'Cos I'm worth it," the trader exclaims, as his bonus disgusts and defames: "without me there'd be no more trading, you see, and the world would soon go down in flames."

 "I'm a banker", the braggart would say: "kneel and worship the girth of my pay!" But reduced to a ghost is the plutocrat's boast, now he's wanted for fraud and affray.

This one from an ex-Goldman friend and Urban Dirt regular:

Now the bankers are all labelled "shifty", and their world is a good deal more thrifty, the notes that they flutter at those in the gutter are marked with a "10", not a "50".

And try not to limit your spleen-venting to bankers:

The lawyers are having their sport, now the economy's frazzled and fraught: undiminished their powers - or chargeable hours - whether criminal, civil or tort.

Good Luck!

Comments

[Dr. Aragoto Suave]

Beware easy talk of recovery
Lest you're shafted by brokers' skullduggery
You'll be long when they short
If you join in their sport
And your buys will be worth less than buggery.

[Dr. Aragoto Suave]

I appear to be talking to myself, but here's another:

There once was a PM called Taro
Whose intellect was somewhat shallow:
Made manga his scriptures
(though only the pictures--
his knowledge of kanji was narrow.)