If Hillary Clinton is Rocky, who are her rivals?

A struggling small time boxer takes on the heavyweight champ in a once-in-a-lifetime fight in which he strives to go the distance, not for the glory or the spoils of victory, but for his self-respect. Not exactly the most striking parallel with Hillary Clinton, one half of America's most formidable political power couple. Perhaps the former first lady was envisioning her defeat on points at the end of a fight which leaves both opponents forever scarred...

But let's say we suspend our disbelief for a moment, and accept that Mrs Clinton is Rocky Balboa, that underdog fighter battling the establishment heavyweights. Who would Barack Obama be? And John McCain? In the Clinton-as-Rocky scenario Apollo Creed seems the obvious choice for Obama, but his status as reigning champion doesn't fit. Ivan Drago, the evil Soviet droid? Too inarticulate. Clubber Lang, aka Mr T? His infectious catchphrases and years spent on the mean streets of Chicago make him a more likely candidate, but his gratuitously sadistic nature rules him out too.

In fact, after Mrs Clinton's bagged the best role, the remaining field of cartoon baddies seems a little scant, so I've widened my search to all Sylvester Stallone films to give McCain and Obama an equal shot at action hero status. And after several hours of rumination and intense discussion with my newsroom colleagues, the results are in.

First up, John McCain. An Vietnam veteran who can no longer raise his arms above his head due to the torture he suffered at the hands of the Vietcong, a bit of a maverick, a tinderbox temperament, relentlessly patriotic and ideological - he can only be John Rambo.

Barack Obama is a little tougher. There are few great orators among Stallone's heroes, so I've chosen a man whose physical agility can perhaps match the Illinois senator's rhetorical dexterity  - Gabe Walker, aka Cliffhanger.

Now that would be a fight I'd like to see.

Comments

[Daphne Kenward]

If I was Stalone |I would Sue, for Damage of Character.

[Daniel Lewis]

I was thinking more along the lines of Larry, Curly and Moe.

[Jo]

He loses against the old man of Zimbabwe . . . at least in this contest. He might sort him out later.

[Steve Williamson]

Another worth while debate raised by the good people at the times..... whats next a little bit of working mans racism with a naked chick on page 3.... ohh ohh dear Jane get her in too!!!